Some Commitment Issues

*twittering*   *chirping*   *chatter*

Yo!

…I KNOW!  I can’t BELIEVE that Brooke Shields…wait.

*shifts to new browser tab*  Oh.  It’s you. Hello.

Betsy.

Blogosphere. What are you doing here?

Well, I kinda thought we had a…date.

Did we? *crosses arms*

Today’s Tuesday.  You know, time for a blog post.  Three times a week, remember?

I remember.  I’m just surprised that you remembered me.

Hey, what’s all this? Are you angry about something?

No.  Why should I be angry. I have nothing to be angry about, do I?

No, but…Did I just hear you…were you just talking to…Twitter?

So what if I was? Why do you care?

Why do I care? You made a commitment. You made a commitment to us. You made a commitment to me!

I never promised to be exclusive.  Lot’s of people talk to Twitter.  Lots of…authors.

I knew it!  I just knew something was going on.  First that damn poem about social media and now this.  You’re freaking throwing me over for freaking Twitter!

Blogosphere! Don’t use that kind of foul language around here.

Oh, please. Do you even remember the kind of language you used in your freaking book?

*draws self up straighter* This isn’t about the book.  This is about you and me.

What the hell are you talking about?

Twitter interacts with me.  Twitter talks to me.  All the time. *sniff* Besides, Justin Bieber is there.

I can’t believe this.  I don’t believe it.  You’re only saying this because you can’t think of anything to post today.

And that’s my point!  Over at Twitter you don’t have to think of things to post.  You just talk about what’s happening right at the moment!  It’s a stream of free communication–

Yeah, right.  *mimics*  I’m drinking coffee…I’m eating bacon….I’m wearing shoes…

No!  No, it’s not like that at all!  You make it sound so dirty, so….cheap.  So easy.  It’s really a very beautiful experience and everyone gets together–

Really?  What was your last tweet?  It was about the bra you bought for the RWA conference, wasn’t it?

*gasp*  No!  That’s not true!  You’re lying!

Well, then it was something else equally banal.  *voice softens*  Come on, baby.  You don’t want to leave me, not really.  Do you?  We’re just starting to get going here.  We’ll settle into a routine, I swear. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us.  Don’t leave me for some lousy 140 characters.

*shifts*  *looks up, then down again*   Well, you’re right.  I can say more here than I can over there.

Exactly.

I mean, you don’t place any limits on me.  I can say whatever I want to say and be as long-winded as I like.

Well–

And I can be serious, or I can write poetry about coffee or social media, and I can talk about my book, or my cats…

Well–

And I can tell you anything!  Anything at all!  Because I know that you care about me!

Uh huh.  But listen, baby, about the cats–

No, no, you’re right.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I see it all now. It’s all so clear.  I’ve been such a fool. *takes a deep breath*  Just…just tell me one thing.

What?

Can I have you and still have Twitter, too?

Yeah, baby.  Whatever you need.  Twitter, Facebook, whatever.  Even Goodreads.  Just, you know, keep coming back.

And if I can’t think of anything to say to you?

Then make stuff up.

Oh.  Well, that’s okay then.  That’s what I usually do anyway.

Do me one favor?

What’s that?

Stay away from mySpace.

No problem.