Pre-Countdown Decoration Post

Don we now our gay aparrel….

Blogosphere?

Fa la la la la la la la la…

Blogosphere? What are you doing?

Hey, yo. Bets. Pretty good, eh?

What…what is all of this?

I’m decoratin’

Decoratin’? *shakes head* I mean, you’re decorating?

Yeah.

And singing…Christmas carols?

Yeah.

Um…why?

Because…*turns. stares* Hello, I’m getting ready. Duh.

O-kay…Ready for what?

For your countdown. You know. The countdown to your book release day on September 5.  HOLD ME.  Labor Day.  Countdown.

*gasp* You…you remembered? You remembered THE day?

‘Course I remembered. I’m the freaking blogosphere, aren’t I? The blogosphere remembers everything you do until you die and even beyond.

Well, thanks. I think. But seriously, I can’t believe that the Blogosphere–

–The entire FREAKING Blogosphere–

–Cares about my release date! *blinks back tears of joy*

Well, *fiddles with some ribbon* Um…okay, maybe I overstated a little bit.

Uh….huh? Didn’t you just say–

See, I’m the part of the Blogosphere that actually knows you exist. I’m your little corner of the world, so to speak.

Oh. *contemplates Blogosphere* Is that why you’re so short?

Hey! Veritcally challenged, thank you very much.

And puny? And weak? And transparent?

*crosses arms* Are you just going to stand there and insult me?

No, no. Of course not. Sorry.

I mean, look at all of the great decoration work I’ve done! Your FAQ page looks smoking hot, and I’ve got Christmas lights and ribbons all over the blog page.

Yeah, those puce ribbons are just… awesome.

I think so too. *smiles happily* Never knew what puce was until that bitch Wikipedia chimed in. Always has to offer her two cents. *mimics* I know this…I can tell you about that…Gets old. But this time she was right.

So, to get back on track…This is my first pre-countdown to release day decoration post. What am I supposed to do?

Hey, I don’t give a sh..damn. Why don’t you talk about what’s coming up?

Oh, okay. Marketing. I can do this. *clears throat* Oh, I wish I’d known you wanted to do this. I would have put my notes in order. *shuffles paper*

Would you just get on with it?

Okay, okay. Get off my back! *clears throat again* Ladies and gentlemen–

Do you really think there are gentlemen out there?

Shhh!

I mean seriously. It’s a freaking romance novel.

Quiet! Okay. Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m pleased to announce that the HOLD ME countdown will begin on Monday, August 1st when I’ll post the first chapter–

What? You’re giving away the first chapter?

Hush!

I mean seriously. Why buy the cow if you get the milk for–

Quiet! As the month goes on, I’ll be posting lots of extra things, including some more excerpts–

Cow, Milk, Cow, Milk

–and some new vignettes and interviews with the characters–

Which you haven’t written yet.

Shut. Up.  Um, where was I…Oh, yes. And a contest. And, if I ever get my act together, I hope to post an interview my editor, Rhonda.

Hi, Rhonda! How YOU doin’? *wink, wink*

Blogosphere. Are you trying to pick up my editor on MY time?

‘Course not. *sly smile*

GAH! I’m done! I’m so done with you. Out!

Out? Hey! What about–

OUT!

Yeah, yeah. Kicking out the Blogosphere. Good marketing plan.

Don’t you mind my marketing plan! Get out!

I’m going. I’m going. But you’ll come running after me sooner or later… *Blogosphere leaves the post*

*sigh* Yeah. I probably will. But I’ll switch out all of these puce ribbons first.

I heard that!

Quiet! So, um, anyway. Please join me tomorrow, August 1st, for the beginning of the countdown to HOLD ME’s release day.

Thank you.