Naming Babies

When pregnancies crop up among my friends and co-workers I, as an author, feel that it is my obligation, nay, my duty, to help come up with names for the babies. As far as I know, none of my suggestions have ever been chosen by the parents, but I remain ever hopeful.

It has occurred to me that it might be time to provide a similar service to readers of my blog, in case any of you are in need of a baby name. In addition, I thought that if I marketed my baby naming services, I might be able to turn it into a lucrative sideline. Good, eh?

First, I wanted to throw out a couple of names I think are very special, but you’d have to have certain last names to really make them work. For one of my coworkers, with the last name of “Burton”, I suggested the name “Ernie”. Then when the kid is seven or eight or so the coach of his sports team can call out “Burton, Ernie!” Get it? Bert and Ernie! HAHAHAHA! (I have to admit – I had help thinking up that one).

As good as that name is, she walked away from it TWICE! No respect.

Also, I once knew a guy who’s last name was Burgur. I suggested that he name his son “Hamilton”. Get it? Ham Burgur. HAHAHAHA!

Yes, it’s just that kind of quality I’m ready to offer you today.

Okay, so here are a few suggestions. The babies I am trying to name at the moment are all due in the spring, so these names are geared for that season. Also, just as a side note, you’ll see that these are mostly names for girls. But don’t let that box you in. It is my opinion that any young boy would be proud to carry one of these names around with him like a burden he can’t get rid of.

As I said, these are spring names. First, we have seasonal:

Cherry Blossom
April Showers
Daffodil
Tulip
Forsythia (for something a little more formal)

Next, we have Easter holiday specials:

Cadbury
Bunny
Jelly Bean (you could call him/her “Beanie”)
Hershey Kiss
Peep (but not “Stale Peep”)
Chick
Egg (which came first? hahahahaha)

Then, here are some miscellaneous suggestions:

Titania (just be careful how you shorten it)
Pippa (you can buy her an ugly hat)
Cobweb
Peasblossom (Shakespearean)

Oh, there are so many possibilities.

I hope that I have stimulated your own creative musings. Come on, don’t be afraid to help your friends, relatives and coworkers out. They appreciate it – really they do.

And don’t worry about the kids. They’ll be fine.

Eventually.