Dueling With The Blogosphere

Blogosphere.

Betsy.

En garde!

*slash* *clatter* *slash* *parry parry* *jab jab jab*

You’re amazing, Blogosphere.

Thank you. I’ve studied *duck* hard to become so.

*parry parry thrust*

Tell me why we’re fighting again? Oops! *Blogosphere throws sword in air* *sommersaults off rock to ground below* *catches sword as it falls from sky*

Because. *Betsy throws sword into ground* *leaps gracefully off rock to ground below* *grabs sword and slashes it through the air*

Because why? *parry slash*

Because you, Blogosphere are encroaching too far into my writing time and I must beat you into submission.

*clatter* *slash* *ding ding ding*

Get used to disappointment. *Blogosphere runs to top of mountain*

So you say. *parry jab jab jab* But you appear to be on the run.

I am. But I know something you do not know.

What’s that? *Betsy leaps forward* *swords clash together* *sound rings through the mountains*

I am not left handed.

*Blogosphere whips sword around and changes hands* *rises to feet* *charges Betsy* You think I encroach into your writing time? *thrust thrust* You don’t know what I can do. Facebook. *jab* Twitter *jab* eHarlequin *jab jab* Blogs *jab jab jab* Hah! You’re on the defensive now, aren’t you Betsy? You think you can write! *thrust* *slash* *clang* SIMS!

Ah! You’re a terrific fighter, Blogosphere, but I know something as well. *parry parry parry*

What’s that? *thrust*

I am not left handed either. *Betsy tosses sword to right hand* AHA! *leaps at Blogosphere*

*swords clash* *Betsy and Blogosphere dance around each other* *jab at each other with their swords*

Doesn’t this seem a little silly? *Blogosphere breathes hard*

Hello! My name is Betsy Horvath! You killed my writing time! Prepare to die! *slash slash slash*

Oh, for God’s…hey! *parry* *parry*

*Betsy beats Blogosphere back into corner* *Blogosphere falls to ground* *drops sword* *falls to knees as Betsy raises sword*

Look, you need me! I’m important to you as a writer.

*Betsy pauses* *lowers sword* *Pants* *looks down at Blogosphere*

Not if you demand all of my writing time.

You don’t have to be with me all the time, dumbass. You can fit me AROUND your writing time.

*Betsy raises sword again* Who are you calling “dumbass”?

*Blogosphere holds up hands* I’m just saying that if nobody knows about you, nobody will care if you write or not.

You’re saying that without you, I could be…obsolete?

*Blogosphere nods* If a writer writes in a forest and nobody hears her, did she ever write at all?

Huh?

Never mind. Okay, maybe I went too far. But you don’t have to kill me. We need to work together on this thing.

*Betsy lowers sword* *tip points to ground* Partners?

Partners

*Betsy thinks for a moment* Okay. We’ll try.

Great. Give me a hand up.

*Betsy reaches down and pulls Blogosphere to it’s feet* *They eye each other suspiciously*

Come on. It’s late. Let’s go check some email.

Okay.

*Betsy tosses sword away* *walks off with Blogosphere into the sunset*

 

The End

 

OR IS IT????

 

Here’s a link to the duel between Inigo Montoya and the Dread Pirate Roberts  – much as Betsy duels with the Blogosphere!!