Fear

Sometimes I find myself totally paralyzed by fear. It comes from many sources and for many reasons. Usually it’s fear of failure or a fear of my own inadequacy in a particular situation. Sometimes it’s fear of the future or fear of the consequences of my own actions. Sometimes it’s fear of change or the potential that might come after change. But I find myself stopped at the crossroads, unable to make a decision (as I mentioned in this blog post).

I have to remember that, even when fear has me in its teeth, I always have at least two choices. I can choose to stay, or I can choose to move.

I can, if I wish, let fear keep me in place. I can let it rob me of everything I want in my life. I can let it steal my energy and my dreams. Or I can move anyway. Even when I’m so afraid that my heart is pounding and my palms are sweating. Even when I don’t know exactly why I’m afraid, I just know that I’m terrified. I can push the fear aside and move forward in spite of it.

I’ve been trying to remind myself of these things in the past couple of weeks. I want to change, but change is frightening. I want to continue to move forward, but movement is terrifying. I want things to be different, but different means things will not be the same and that’s scary. Even if I think I am not choosing, the choice is there – to stay paralyzed, or to move forward.

Here’s a poem by Langston Hughes addressing this very subject:

 

Dreams
by Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

 

I think we have to look at the fear, acknowledge it, and choose to fly anyway.