Now. What Shall We Talk About?

Hi, Blogosphere.

Hey.

Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.

You paid me to show up.

Er…yeah.  Um…Okay.  “Heh, heh, heh… Now.  What shall we talk about?  Heh, heh, heh.”

Why are you wheezing?

It’s a reference to a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.  I was trying to entertain.

Sure.

But seriously.  I wanted to get some input on what you thought I should blog about on my blog.

*silence*  Let me get this straight.  You want to blog about what you want to blog about on your blog by talking to the blogosphere?

Yeah.

A blog!  Why did it have to be a blog? Why couldn’t you have set up a nice static website?

Hey!  Nice allusion to another pithy Raider’s quote!

Let’s just get this finished.  I’m expected in a Honey Boo Boo chatroom in fifteen minutes.  They pay more than you do.

Okay, okay.  *searches through papers*  *finds pen*  Okay, tell me what I should blog about.  The sooner you talk, the sooner you can leave.

I’m not sure it’s a good idea to invite the blogosphere to leave your blog if you want people to actually read it.

See?  See?  That’s good.  *scribbles*  What else?

Oh, for heavens… *sigh* All right then.  Lots of people talk about things they’re expert at.  How about that?

I’m not expert at anything. *ponders for a moment* I guess I could write about writing.

Yeah, because you know SO much about that.

Hey!

Oh!  Oh!  I wish I had ONE writer blogging about writing out here in the blogosphere.  It’s been so lonely!  There are only about…a MILLION of them.  Sheesh.

*defensive* Well, it’s what I do.  And I suppose I’ve found out some things about publishing in the last couple of years.

See comment above.  Nobody writes blogs about writing and publishing anymore (insert sarcasm here).

Well, do you have any other brilliant suggestions?

Let me think.  Okay, how about religion or politics? 

No way! People get mean when you talk about religion or politics.  I’m a lover not a fighter.

Hmmm…  Well, I guess you could talk about your family or your workplace.

Sorry.  Someone might read it.

You really think that’s going to be a problem?

It could happen.  And I don’t want to get fired or disowned.  Come on, Mr. Smartypants.  Give me something.

Your own dark and disturbed psychological musings?  Or maybe…cats?

Oh!  Oh!  Good!  *scribbles, scribbles, scribbles*  And I guess if I don’t know what to blog about, I could always talk to, well, you.

Not if I see you coming first.  *Blogosphere leaves the post*

Blogosphere?  Hey, Blogosphere!  Come on!  Come back here!  Blogosphere, I will not be ignored!  *Betsy leaves the post*

[tube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3IFVERSQkA[/tube]