Once Upon A Time… there was a girl who wrote a blog. Although it was not all she wrote, and although she did indeed have other tasks to perform, the blog did demand that she doth update it regularly.
“Dance, little writer! Dance!” it would yell as it cracked a whip over her head.
And she did dance.
“Scurry, little writer! Scurry!”
And lo, she scurried.
“Write, little writer! Write!”
And verily, she did write blog posts and keep the blog updated regularly. And the blog, it was pleased.
Then came the day when, alas, the writer did not know what to write on her blog.
She did think and think and think. And, lo. Her thinker doth break and was sore.
So she walked from the house lest the blog realize she could not update it as it demanded. After she had walked for some time, she came across an ogre.
“O Ogre!” she did cry. “Please truly tell me what to write in my blog post!”
But the ogre did just howl a great howl and brandish a club and chase her into the forest.
In the forest, she did climb a tree and confuse the ogre. After it had gone, she did climb down and begin walking. And she did walk and walk until she saw Bigfoot.
“O Bigfoot!” she did cry. “Please truly tell me what to write in my blog post!”
But Bigfoot did just give a mighty Bigfoot yell and he did then lift his leg and mark a tree.
And the writer did say “Ew.” and began walking again.
And then she saw an elf that doth look eerily like Orlando Bloom riding upon a white horse.
“O Elf!” she did cry. “Please truly tell me what to write in my blog post!”
But the elf did just sneer and ride off on his white horse.
Finally, all despairing, the writer did returneth home.
“O what shall I write!” she did cry. “The blog will be much displeased with me!”
And she did shudder at the thought of the blog’s displeasure.
Then one of her cats did come forth and spaketh thus:
“Oh, for God’s sake! Just write any damn thing you want to write!”
And so the writer did.
And they all lived happily ever after.
Except for the ogre, because ogres are notorious for their bad moods.
The End
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