Oh, Blogosphere, I’m so happy to see you! It’s been so long! *tries to throw arms around Blogosphere* “Blogosphere turns away*
Hey, you paid your web hosting invoice. Why shouldn’t I be here? *shrug*
*Betsy steps back uncertainly* Well, yes…but aren’t you happy to see me at all?
Look, I don’t know why you wanted to have a chat. There ain’t nothing to stop you from connecting whenever you want to. I guess these last couple of months you just didn’t want to. *shrug*
No! No, I wanted to, really I did, but I was going through this whole crisis and–
Yeah, yeah. I read the post. Sing me another song why doncha?
I was on the internet all the time, Blogosphere. I don’t know why you’re acting like I was ignoring you.
Because you WERE ignoring me! And I will NOT be ignored! NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!
You’re mixing up your movie quotes. And I DIDN’T ignore you! I read you constantly. I can’t count the number of blog posts I read. And Facebook – don’t get me started on Facebook.
Yes, okay. You read me. But did you write blog posts of your own? Well? Did you? ANSWER ME!
I…no. No, I didn’t write anything on the blog.
Humph *crosses a few arms*
I just…people stop writing blogs all the time. I don’t know why you’re being so mean to me. *eyes glimmer with tears* And I’m…I’m back now… *gazes with doe-like soulfulness at the Blogosphere*
Oh, hell. *runs several hands through versions of hair* Look. We had just celebrated our anniversary. I thought everything was fine. I thought we were finally on the right track. And then, I looked up and you were…gone. Just gone.
I know! I’m so sorry Blogosphere.
Hey, it’s okay. It’s not like you hurt me or anything. *snort* You can do what you want to do. You’re a free agent. You don’t want to talk to me? Fine. I’ll find someone who will. *sniffles as if holding back tears*
Please, Blogosphere! I’ll never do it again. It wasn’t you, it was me. I had issues and I needed to work them out. You want me to do that, don’t you?
It’s just…*deep breath* I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.
You CAN! I swear! This time I’m committed to you. I’ll write blogs regularly and I’ll update my plugins and I’ll smush pictures so my site runs faster and I’ll figure out how to fix things up. I’ll do it all – you ‘ll see.
I have to be able to depend on you. If I send readers your way, I have to know that you’re here, ready to talk to them.
I am! I will be. I promise.
Well–
Please give me another chance, Blogosphere. Please!
*silence*
Please?
*silence*
*Betsy cries soft and pitiful tears*
Oh…shoot. Okay.
Okay? Really?
Yeah. Really. But you’d better never do this to me again. This might be your last chance, babe.
I won’t let you down! *claps hands* Can I…can I hug you?
Sure.
*Betsy and the Blogosphere hug*
Thank you, Blogosphere. Thank you.
Sure.
Can you send about a million readers my way now?
No.
*sigh* It’s nice to know things are back to normal.
[tube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8xv1MXrwNc[/tube]
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