Blogosphere, I have a bone to pick with you.
Why the heck would you want to pick bones? I don’t have any bones. All of my skeletons are in the closet.
I mean, I’m feeling annoyed with you.
Oh. *shrug* Okay. Why take it out on me? Just go flame someone on Facebook or Twitter.
See? That’s what I mean. Facebook. Twitter. Not blogs. You never told me blogs were obsolete.
Obsolete? What are you talking about?
You’re not hip. You’re not with it.
I am so hip, gosh darn it!
You’re wearing paisley and wide lapels. Admit it!
What’s wrong with wide lapels? And I see you’re still wearing your fuzzy purple go-go boots with the poofy tassels.
I, uh, my feet were cold. ANYWAY, you never told me that you were dead.
What? *pfft* I’m not dead.
You are too. It says so right here in this blog.
Wait – a blog said blogs are dead?
And the notes from the RWA conference say you’re a dinosaur.
Yeah? Well, they might be the voice of romance, but they’re not the voice of me! I’m still mighty! I’m still powerful! *rwaaarrrr* Ow. Where did you put the medicated rub? I think I pulled something.
Everyone’s gone mobile, Blogosphere. Everyone’s doing everything on their phones. They’re talking on their phones. They’re interacting on their phones. They’re playing games on their phones. Hell, they’re making COFFEE on their phones and then drinking it through an app! Then they’re using an app to brush their TEETH! And they have apps to drive them to work and play with their kids! Apps, apps, apps! Whatever the heck apps are, they got them! Blogs are for the dogs! Apps are where it’s at!
Well, why write a blog then, huh? Huh? If blogs are so dead, why are you wasting your time? Come on, answer that, why doncha?
Well, uh–
Yeah, I’ve gone there. Come on. Come on, tell me! TELL ME!
BECAUSE I’VE GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!
Hey, nice “Officer and a Gentleman” reference.
Thanks. But it’s true. I started writing a blog because I couldn’t afford a web designer and WordPress is free.
Free?
Free.
I feel so…used.
You should. I think that’s why most people write blogs.
*sniff*
Blogosphere, are you…crying?
No. *word trembles with wet pain*
You ARE crying.
*silence broken only by Blogosphere’s muffled sobs*
Blogosphere, I had no idea I could hurt you this way. I didn’t know you cared.
I don’t… *sniffle*… care.
I’m sorry. I…I just don’t know what to say.
I’m not dead.
Of course not.
I’m still mighty and *sniff* powerful.
Of course you are.
Do you still love me?
Sure. And I still can’t afford a web designer.
Okay.
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