Previously on Betsy’s Blog…
Harry, Betsy’s Guide on her Quest, has given her a list of things she will need to learn to be a successful indie author and she has gone off to think about them. Betsy being Betsy, her thoughts promptly swirled into a burgeoning tornado of confusion, indecision and doubt. But, wait – does it seem that Betsy is being prodded just a little a bit? Could there be something – or someone – helping to stir her up? Let’s see…
You don’t know how to format.
I don’t know how to format.
You need to learn to format.
I need to learn. I need to learn to format.
You don’t know how design a book cover.
I don’t know how to design a book cover.
You need to learn how to do everything now. You need to read more self-publishing blogs.
I need to learn…wait. I need to write. I have to finish the book.
No. You have to learn the things you don’t know before you get the book finished. You need to search the internet for more tips. You need to subscribe to more email lists.
But if I don’t get the book finished, I won’t have anything to publish…
You don’t have time to write. You need to read blogs on writing and publishing and you need to learn how to format and you need to make a cover and you need to learn how to market and you need to do all of this now.
I should read those blogs about writing so I can learn to how to launch a book. I should watch authors talk about writing on YouTube. I should do that now.
Yes. Then you need to check Facebook. You need to check for the fifteenth time to see if somebody “liked” that link you shared.
I should.
*Muse pokes head into cavern of brain* Betsy? Where the heck are you?
*Betsy blinks* *Appears to come out of trance* What? Muse is that you? *rubs face* What are you doing here?
*Muse walks over to where Betsy sits huddled on floor of brain clutching her laptop* Well, I’m here because we’re supposed to be writing, but we’re not getting very far.
You’re right. You’re right. *Betsy shakes self and starts to put laptop aside* We need to write.
No. You need to read more blogs about self-publishing. You need to surf the Internet for more tips about writing. You need to check Facebook and Google Plus and Twitter.
*Muse looks around* Who is….? Oh. Great. It’s you.
*Betsy appears confused* Of course it’s me.
Not you. *Muse points* Her.
*Betsy swivels to look behind her* *sees a dark fog hovering at her shoulder* *As she watches the fog coalesces into the shape of a girl* Wow. Goth.
*girl drifts forward* I am Obsessia.
*Betsy looks around* Obsessia? Oh, wait. Harry mentioned you once. How the heck did you get in my brain, Obsessia?
Oh, I’ve been here for a while. *Obsessia waves that away* You just don’t know I’m here whispering to you.
*Betsy frowns* I don’t like that much. How come I can see you now?
Because she mentioned me. *Obsessia points at Muse* Once she noticed me, you were bound to see me too.
*Betsy gathers up laptop computer* *crawls to her feet* I’m not sure that I like you, Obsessia.
*Obsessia swirls long black dress around ankles* You like me fine when I’m whispering to you.
I don’t like you. *Muse steps up next to Betsy* *Glares at Obsessia* You try to keep Betsy away from me. When you’re whispering to her, she can’t hear me sing.
Oh. Too bad. *Obsessia holds up thumb and forefinger* *saws forefinger over thumb* *nails are painted black* Here’s a little violin playing a song just for you. Boo hoo hoo.
*Muse turns to Betsy* See when she whispers to you, then you get all caught up on things that don’t matter or that are bad for you. And your thinking just gets narrowed down to one track and you can’t think of other things.
*Betsy stares at Muse* Really? I’m really like that?
Yes! *Muse throws up hands in disgust* Why do you think you’ve wasted so much time flipping back and forth between Facebook and Google Plus and Twitter instead of writing? Why do you buy so many books on writing instead of working on the book you ARE writing? Why are you worrying so much about launch strategies and marketing algorithms when the book isn’t even freaking finished yet?
*Betsy thinks* Because I’m obsessed?
Well, duh! *Muse waves hands in the air* *Er…brain* Yes! Yes, yes, YES!
*Betsy stands straighter* I believe that I want you to leave my brain, Obsessia. I believe that I am happier listening to the Muse and to Harry than I am listening to you.
*Obsessia shrugs* Too bad.
Too…. hey! *Betsy clenches fists around laptop* This is MY brain.
Is it? *Obsessia smiles* I don’t think so.
I think it is! *Betsy tries to appear confident*
Hmmm. *Obsessia taps her lips with a long, black fingernail* I think I should call my boyfriend.
Boyfriend? *Betsy exchanges a look with the Muse* Who’s that?
Compulsion. *Obsessia’s smile widens*
Hello, my sweet.
*Betsy gasps* It’s the Voice! The Dark Voice!
Betsy, we’re trapped inside walls of ice! *Muse grasps Betsy’s arm* We can’t get out!
*Betsy puts down laptop* *grabs Muse* I can’t believe it. I really am Obsessive / Compulsive?
*Muse looks at her in disgust* Really? REALLY? You didn’t know that? I think I’m going to have to buy you a clue for your birthday.
Well, I always thought I was Manic / Depressive. *Betsy sounds defensive*
Could we possibly have this conversation later? *Muse yells*
I think I should have some say in my own brain. *Betsy frowns petulantly*
This is not your brain. It is ours. *The Voice laughs* Obsessia, my dear. Perhaps we need to prove our point.
*Obsessia giggles* Oh, yes. Let’s.
To be continued…
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