Year: 2014

Skipper

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

Harry, Betsy’s Guide on her Quest to become a successful independent author / entrepreneur, has returned from a short stay with the Muse Council and he’s ready to rock and roll! He wants to help pull Betsy out of the mire of her own neurosis, kick her in the butt, and lead her on her way down the path to success. But to do that, he needs Betsy’s cooperation, doesn’t he? And that means giving Betsy the tools she needs to change.

A whole big crapload of tools.

Now as Betsy’s consciousness naps in the frontal lobe of her brain, a new voice enters the picture. Who is this? What does it want? How can it help, if help it will? Join us and we’ll see….

Betsy!

*snore*

Oh, Betssssyyyyyyy….

*Betsy turns on side* *smacks lips*

Helllloooooo….

*Betsy snuggles deeper into pillows*

Betsy! Betsy! Betsy! Betsy! Betsy! Betsy!

Ah! What? Where? Who? *Betsy jerks into sitting position as her brain rocks back and forth* *looks wildly around frontal lobe* *sees figure standing nearby* Who the hell are you?

I’m Skipper!

*Betsy rubs eyes* *Blinks* You’re a chipmunk.

I’m Skipper the Chipmunk! I’m your Lifestyle Coach!

*Betsy blinks again* My…huh?

Harry told me all about you and I am Here To Help! *Skipper stands on back legs* *puts paws on hips*

Uh huh. HARRY!

Whaaat? *Harry strolls into frontal lobe* What do you…oh, hey Skips.

*Betsy points at Skipper* Explain. Now.

Okay, look. *Harry saunters over to sofa and jumps up on arm* When I was at the Muse Council, I was talking to people about you, you know?

*Betsy glares* Were you?

Yeah. I needed some advice. And here’s the scoop. You’re like a whole person, right?

Last time I checked.

So the successful independent author stuff is kind of dependent on the rest of your life, right?

Right.

Skipper here *Harry waggles his forepaw at the chipmunk* has an advanced degree in Habit Formulation and Implementation. She’s like a freaking guru.

*Betsy looks at Skipper* *Skipper itches chin with back paw* You can’t be serious.

Oh, he totally is! *Skipper claps paws together and snaps off a salute* Reporting for duty! I’m Skipper, the skipper of your ship of habits! I can help you build them up… *waves paws in air* And I can help you break them down. *swipes paws to the side*

*Betsy turns back to Harry* What are you doing to me?

Look. *Harry settles on haunches* Skipper’s in a lot of demand with the other Guides. She specializes in cases like yours where time constraints and other, um, mental factors make effective Habit Development essential for the successful completion of a Quest. She’s like an expert in figuring out how to fit a lot of life into a little time.

*Betsy looks at Skipper* Really?

Oh, yeah! Totally! *Skipper hooks paw in side of mouth* *Pulls mouth out until it folds back on itself* *lets it snap back into shape* Did you see my really cool cheek pouches?

I did and I never want to see them again.

Well, I can fit TONS of nuts in there! TONS! I can fit a whole CASELOAD of nuts in there! *Skipper beams proudly*

Wonderful.

I can fit and entire DELIVERY TRUCK of nuts in there!

Got it.

Do you have any nuts?

Harry. *Betsy holds out her hand to Harry* Make her stop.

Hey Skips *Harry pats Skipper on her shoulder* Less enthusiasm, okay?

*Skipper pouts* You promised me this was going to be a fun gig.

It will be. Trust me. *Harry’s eyes slide away to the left*

*Betsy draws in a deep breath* Okay. Okay. So let me see if I’ve got this straight. You *points at Skipper* are an expert in training people to develop habits that help them fit a lot into a little.

I sure am! *Skipper glances at Harry* Um *cough* I mean, yes.

*Betsy arches eyebrows at Harry* Habits, huh?

Look, you’re always whining about how you don’t have enough time to do crap, or how you aren’t productive, or how you eat wrong and then your brain gets all screwed up, or how you have trouble dealing with extreme emotions. Skipper can help with all that.

Habits. *Betsy considers Skipper* *Shrugs* Well, I haven’t been doing all that well on my own, so what the heck. What’s another character in my head. Hit me with your best shot, ‘Munk.

Oh, goody! *Skipper claps paws together* *Pulls glasses from a fold of her fur and puts them on* *pulls tablet computer from another fold of fur* *turns it on* First I need to know a little bit about your goals and aspirations.

Oh. Okay *Betsy glances at Harry then back to Skipper* Why?

Harry said you were screwed up, but he wasn’t specific. Now. *Skipper peers over glasses* Goals?

Well, to be an independent author / entrepreneur. This whole, um, Quest thing, you know. The blog. *Betsy gestures at Harry* Him.

Uh hmmm…*Skipper taps on tablet* Good, good. Anything else?

Why does it matter?

Because, as Harry said, you’re a whole person. So your goals aren’t separate, they’re, like, all you. And they all have to fit into life, have priority, that sort of thing. So we need to get them all out on the table and look at them, you know? And we have to look at the steps required to achieve each one and how you’ll know when you have. Then we worry about habits to support them.

*Betsy scratches her head* I didn’t know there’d be goals. I hate goals.

You hate goals? *Skipper stares at Betsy, aghast* How have you achieved anything in your life without goals?

*Betsy shrugs*

*Skipper looks at Harry* This is going to take a while.

*Harry sighed* I kind of figured.

To be continued…

August 17, 2014
Doubt and Believing

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

As you know if you’ve joined us for previous installments of The Quest, Betsy has decided to become a successful independent author / entrepreneur. Harry, a white gerbil, is her Guide on this Quest, determined to help her find her way as she navigates the confusing paths leading to her goal. Betsy is discovering (well, she already knew this, so it’s more like admitting) that most of the confusion and false starts come from within herself.

When last we left them, Harry had fallen into a depressed and debauched state after Betsy and her Muse were attacked by a Dark Voice who lives inside Betsy’s brain. Harry felt he had pushed too hard and made Betsy vulnerable to the bad thoughts.

Betsy pulled Harry back from the brink, but he still had to make an appearance before the International Muse Council for an evaluation. He’s been gone for a couple of weeks, but now he’s back. How did things go while he was gone? Join us and we’ll see….

Harry? Are you here? *Betsy enters her brain*

Yeah – over here, doll! *Harry waves from his position sitting on top of his tallest gerbil habitat* I was checking out the Scrivener file on my gPad. Looks like you got a lot done while I was gone.

Some. *Betsy settles herself on the sofa* Did you have a good time at the Muse Council?

Eh. *Harry shrugs and settles back on his paws, putting gPad down beside him* They had me go through some, whaddaya call it, psychological testing. What happened? Did you lose your way while I was gone? I told Muse to call on my cell if you looked like you were combusting again. The Council had a temp looking after you—

*Betsy blinks* A temp? Really? Why didn’t I know?

Bob didn’t want interaction. *Harry snorts* He’s just putting in his time until retirement. Stupid armadillo.

Oh. Um…armadillo?

He’s bitter because he never made Hare. So come on. What’s up? We’re partners, remember? Talk to me.

*Betsy shifts in seat* I didn’t lose my way. Not exactly. There were some family responsibilities—

Happens.

Yeah. The problem was when I sat down at the computer to start writing again. I felt, well, stupid.

Stupid? Whaddya mean stupid?

I mean stupid! *Betsy throws hands up in the air with frustration* Like it was pointless. Like I was just fooling myself. Worse, like I was completely wasting my time and everyone was laughing at me. Like you and the Muse didn’t… exist.

Hmmm. *Harry looks serious* That is bad. No wonder Muse didn’t call. She must have faded when you stopped believing in her.

*Betsy plays with thread on sofa* When I felt like I was fooling myself, then my goal and my journey weren’t valid and, well, real. Like it was all a big joke or something.

*Harry leans forward* *Stares at Betsy* But you found us again.

It was hard. *Betsy smiles at Harry* When I first sat down and looked at my manuscript, it was like there was a glass wall between me and it. *Makes face* Or maybe that like I was just throwing mud at the wall.

You were out of the flow. *Harry nods* Then you started to question and doubt decisions you’d made.

I was doubting everything and the I felt like I was just being completely stupid. *Betsy shrugs* I mean, look at me. Other people get books done in months and it’s taken me…a lot longer.

*Harry sighs* For God’s…are you back on that again? *holds out a paw* *saws one finger over another* See this? It’s a little violin playing just for you.

Oh, stop. *Betsy slaps his paw away* It’s just…when I stop, I lose my hold on the fact that this can be real. That it IS real. *looks at Harry* That you’re real. That my dreams are just as valid as anybody else’s and worth pursuing.

They are. *Harry scurries down tower of gerbil habitat* *climbs up on sofa* *launches self onto Betsy’s shoulder* *stares directly into her eyes* You have to believe that they are.

I know that. *Betsy scratches behind Harry’s ears* I DO. But sometimes…I forget. Then I start believing the person who said that she didn’t know why I bothered writing and I should just stop because I never get anywhere anyway and it wasn’t worth it.

Betsy—

It’s okay. *Betsy smiles at Harry* It really is. She was just talking based on what she’d do. But sometimes…it gets in my head.

Okay. Okay. *Harry pats Betsy on the cheek* I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you find your way out of the mess. But obviously you got past it because, like I said *jerks head towards gPad on tower* Lots of good progress there.

Thanks. *Betsy blushes* I just…I just kept going. And after a day or two, it started moving again.

*Harry nods wisely* The Muse was still singing to you. And maybe Bob actually got off his ass and pointed out a few signposts.

I still wish you’d been here.

Me too. *Harry shrugs* But sometimes you have to find your own way through. Looks like it worked out.

Yes. *Betsy beams* It feels real again. You feel real. Muse feels real. It all feels real.

Wonderful. *Harry regards Betsy sternly from her shoulder* And what have we learned?

Well…*Betsy chews lip* *Thinks* I guess that it’s a lot easier to do even a little bit every day than it is to stop completely and then start up again.

Okay. *Harry crosses arms across tiny chest* And?

*Betsy smiles at him* It’s all real unless I start believing it’s not.

*Harry nods* Exactly.

To Be Continued…
[tube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzgaqB2hFio[/tube]

August 10, 2014
The Reality of Possibility

We come across possibilities every day. They flit through our lives like butterflies, drip through our hands like water. Possibilities can be very hard to grasp.

This is especially true of your own possibilities – your own possible you.

As we grow and age, we are hammered into a certain shape based on the expectations of family, friends, loved ones, society, and ourselves. Many of us make choices based on a need to fit in or escape, and then we are left to deal with the consequences of those choices. Sometimes we feel trapped into a certain way of living based on choices we’ve made.

But we are always running into new possibilities.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that my issue isn’t really identifying the new possibilities for my life – it is believing that these possibilities can be real. More, I find it difficult to believe it is worthwhile and valid to work towards attaining possibilities when they seem far-fetched. Especially if what I see for myself – the vision I have of myself – doesn’t mesh with the way family, friends, and society see me.

I don’t think I’m the only one. I think we all run the risk of packing ourselves away in boxes because we don’t believe what’s outside the box is real. We don’t think the possibility CAN be real, so we turn away from it. And most of the time we’re encouraged to feel that way.

It’s not intentional. Well, not always. The people in our lives get used to understanding us in a certain way. If we try to break the mold, their instinct is to shove us back into it. Another person cannot truly see the real you or understand all of your potential.

We also live in a society that teaches people to put emphasis in certain areas. If we don’t fit in, then we are discounted and sidelined.

In other words, the only validation you may get in the pursuit of your possibilities, your only support, may be yourself. And that’s hard.

I know when I get caught up in the whirlwind and chaos of life, it’s easy for me to listen to the noise, to give in to the pressure to walk the path that’s not my own. I believe the people who tell me I’m wasting my time trying to be myself, that I have to do what everyone else does, that what I see can’t be real.

But I think they’re wrong. Fame, fortune, even success might not be attainable, but your own potential absolutely is. We do not have to remain as we are. We can change. As long as we really work towards the possibilities we see – not just endlessly talk them to death or give them lip-service and never do anything about them – then those possibilities are valid. They are not certain – they are possibilities after all, not certainties – but they ARE real. And even if we never attain the exact vision we see, we will be better people for having made the journey.

So get out there and grab a possibility! Do it now! After all, you aren’t getting any younger…

As you think, you travel. As you love, you attract. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You cannot escape the results of your thoughts; but you can endure and learn, accept and be glad. You will realize the vision of your heart, not the idle wish. You will gravitate toward that which you secretly most love. Into your hands will be placed the exact result of your thoughts; you will receive that which you earn; no more, no less. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain, or rise with your thoughts, your vision–your ideal.

James Lane Allen

August 6, 2014
A Brainy Pig

As a change of pace, here’s a poem about a brainy pig, courtesy of Roald Dahl.

Enjoy!

The Pig

by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, “By gum, I’ve got the answer!”
“They want my bacon slice by slice
“To sell at a tremendous price!
“They want my tender juicy chops
“To put in all the butcher’s shops!
“They want my pork to make a roast
“And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
“They want my sausages in strings!
“They even want my chitterlings!
“The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
“That is the reason for my life!”
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
“I had a fairly powerful hunch
“That he might have me for his lunch.
“And so, because I feared the worst,
“I thought I’d better eat him first.”

Now, here are questions I had as I read this… Was the pig proactive? Or merely paranoid? He acted on his assumptions, but were his assumptions valid? Had he blinded himself to the reality of his situation by dwelling on worst case scenarios? Or was he correct that the reality of his life would lead him to the butcher shop? Was everyone truly against him? Or would his life have been something completely different and he just acted precipitously? Did his big brain lead him astray? Did his intelligence make him jump too soon? Or did it save him? And, most importantly, can he avert his fate at all? Does it matter that Farmer Bland is gone? Will Pig become a piggy version of Rambo, killing every farmer who comes his way?

Hmmmm…..

And this, children, is why poetry is cool. Even the silliest poems can give you something to think about. Oh, wait! Does the poem mean we shouldn’t think? If I’m not thinking about a poem that tells me not to think, will I miss the message about not thinking?

Hmmmm……

July 9, 2014
Responsibility

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

Mavis, the ambassador from the International Muse Council, has come in search of Harry, Betsy’s Quest Guide, because he has not been answering Council summons. She finds him in the gutter of Betsy’s brain, swilling orange juice (an intoxicant for the gerbil family, of which Harry is a member), and basically falling into the dark well of Betsy’s mental depravity. Further investigation uncovers the incident Betsy recently experienced with Obsessia and the Dark Voice, and Mavis determines that Harry is blaming himself for pushing Betsy over the edge.

But this cannot be! Betsy needs her Guide! Without Harry, she could easily fall into her dark well of mental depravity herself, and then who will pull her out?

Mavis and Betsy have called Harry to come meet with them, and Harry has just arrived. Let’s see if we can get down to the bottom of his behavior. Is Harry feeling responsible and blaming himself?

Hey! Whas *hic* up? *Harry weaves on his feet*

Harold. *Mavis frowns at him* We need to talk. Please have a seat. And you won’t need that. *bottle of orange juice disappears*

Hey! *Harry blinks, looks around brain, collapses on the floor* Old biddie.

Harry. *Betsy leans forward* Whatever’s wrong isn’t worth sleeping in the gutter of my brain and drinking…orange juice.

*Harry blinks up at her* Beshy? That you, Beshy?

Yes, it’s me. What’s going on, Harry? Talk to me.

My fault. All my fault. *Harry scrubs paws over his face* I told you *hic* stuff to think about and it…pushed you over!

No. *Betsy shakes her head* *reaches towards Harry* You gave me a list of important things I needed to consider, and you were right. I do need to consider all of those things. It’s my fault that my brain started racing and Obsessia started whispering and the Dark Voice started talking…

No, I overloaded you–

No, I–

Enough!

*Betsy and Harry both jump* *Both turn to stare*

Mavis? I’d forgotten you were there. *Betsy smiles sheepishly*

*Mavis smooths skirt over knee* You are both being ridiculous. The situation in which Betsy found herself was unfortunate, but it was also valuable.

Valuable? *Harry’s fur bristles* I was supposed to lead her to success and instead I led her right into the arms of Obsessia and the Dark Voice! She lost days of her life because of where I led her! What kind of a Guide does that make me?

*Mavis smiles at him and her stern features soften* A caring one. *She raises a long, thin finger when Harry starts to protest* The situation Betsy ended up in was unfortunate, but your Guidance was given freely and was good advice.

But– *Harry raises a paw*

*Mavis ignores him* It was not meant to harm, but to uplift. You can only be responsible for your words and the intent of your words. However, sometimes even words uttered with the best of intentions have unfortunate consequences you cannot foresee and for which you do not bear responsibility.

But– *Harry waves paw*

After all, my dear. *Mavis smiles* we cannot control the actions of another. All we can do is our best under the circumstances.

*Betsy’s eyes drop* *blushes* It was all my fault anyway.

*Mavis sighs* Dear, you must let go of guilt. What’s happened, happened.

But I should have–

Betsy. *Mavis looks severe* You must not dwell on could or should. They don’t exist. What exists is, well, what exists. What’s there. The state you’re at.

Wow. *Betsy blinks* Deep.

*Mavis draws in breath through her nose and lets it out again slowly* I mean, you must start where you are at. You cannot start from where you might have been.

*Betsy blinks* Huh?

Oh, for heavens… *Mavis casts eyes skyward* *draws in deep breath* *pins Harry with steely stare* *points at him with thin finger* You.

*Harry straightens* Ma’am.

Get over yourself, get off the juice and get Guiding the best you can.

*Harry snaps a salute* Yes, ma’am.

*Mavis nods* *Points finger at Betsy* You.

*Betsy blinks* Ma’am?

Make with the writing and pick up the pace. I’m not immortal, you know.

No, I didn’t–

And neither are you. *Mavis frowns* Get the freaking book done before you have to finish it in a nursing home.

*Betsy salutes clumsily* Yes, ma’am.

Good. *Mavis nods* And don’t make me come here again.

*Betsy and Harry both cower*

No, ma’am.

*Mavis vanishes* *Betsy is dumped to floor of brain when the armchair she is sitting on vanishes as well* *Betsy and Harry stare at each other*

Wow. *Betsy blinks*

*Harry puts paw to head* I need coffee.

Ah, mah friend, but I am here!

*Betsy looks to corner of brain* Coffee? Is that you?

Naturally! *Coffee walks into brain* An’ today I am ze dark French Roast!

Awesome! *Harry staggers to Coffee* *Sips* *Turns to grin at Betsy* So, ready to get back at it?

*Betsy smiles back at Harry* *Gives a fist pump* Abso-freaking-lutely!

*Coffee beams* Wit ze caffeine!

But of course!

To be continued….

July 6, 2014
Where’s Harry?

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

Although Betsy and the Muse have been hanging out regularly, Betsy hasn’t seen Harry, her Quest Guide, for a couple of days. In fact, she hasn’t seen him since he and the Muse came to her aid when she battled Obsessia and The Dark Voice. But Betsy’s been so busy, she didn’t notice Harry was missing until she received a summons from a familiar disembodied voice – Mavis, ambassador for the International Muse Council.

What is Mavis, ambassador for the International Muse Council, doing here anyway? And where the heck is Harry? Let’s see…

Hello? *Betsy enters brain and looks around* Mavis?

Betsy. So pleasant to see you, dear. *Mavis suddenly appears in brain sitting in a large leather overstuffed armchair*

Oh, I’m so glad to see you too! *Betsy moves forward into the circle of light surrounding Mavis* How have you been?

Quite well, thank you *Mavis crosses legs, showing her thick stockings and orthapaedic shoes* Have a seat.

Have a– Oh. *Betsy turns and sees another larger leather armchair* *Sits* *Leans forward nervously* What’s going on?

I am concerned about Harold.

Harold? Oh, Harry! *Betsy frowns* Why? What’s wrong?

He has been ignoring requests from the Muse Council for an update on your progress. I was sent to check on things.

Is he okay? *Betsy wrings hands* Does he need me? I’ll go to him.

*Mavis steeples fingers* I found him lying in the gutter in a corner of your brain, swilling orange juice. As you know, Harold is a gerbil. However, you may not know that members of the gerbil population find orange juice to be quite intoxicating.

Orange juice? *Betsy stares* Really?

*Mavis shrugs* It’s the sugar. Puts them right down on their, uh, tails.

Oh, no! *Betsy clasps hands to cheeks* That’s terrible! *She thinks* Wait, I have a gutter in my brain?

*Mavis stares at her without comment*

Oh. *Betsy looks away* Right.

*Mavis straightens her skirt* Apparently I must stage an intervention before he flushes himself down the toilet, so to speak. I need background information. What has been happening?

*Betsy gapes at her* Don’t you read my blog?

*Mavis raises eyebrows* Does anyone?

Good point. *Betsy reaches into gray matter* *Pulls out laptop* *Logs into website* Okay, here’s the page detailing my Quest. I guess you should probably read the last two or three posts.

Hmmm. *Mavis reads at the speed of thought* Okay. Yes, okay. I see. All right. *sets laptop aside*

*Betsy watches her anxiously* What?

I believe Harold might be blaming himself for your recent melt-down and the weight of guilt has thrown him into the well of your mind’s depravity.

But he shouldn’t… *Betsy blinks* My mind has a well of depravity?

*Mavis merely looks at Betsy over her glasses*

Oh. *Betsy clears her throat* Right.

*Mavis pats hair* Unfortunately, this is a situation many of our Guides face. The traveler stumbles and falls, or becomes derailed, and the Guide feels guilty and responsible.

But he wasn’t responsible! *Betsy looks at Mavis earnestly* It was all my fault.

Oh, I know that, dear. *Mavis reaches out and pats Betsy’s hand* He gave you Guidance with the best of intentions, but it triggered…unfortunate side effects. This happens sometimes and it is difficult for the Guide to realize he or she cannot bear responsibility for the way the traveler chooses to react to their Guidance.

He couldn’t know… *Betsy looks away* *Bites lip*

Well, perhaps he could have been wiser in his choice of words, and he did try to talk to you about too many things at once, but he’ll learn how best to work with you in time. *Mavis purses her lips* If he burdens himself with responsibility for this incident, he will never be an effective Guide for you and we will be forced to replace him.

No! *Betsy reaches out a hand* I don’t want to lose Harry! He’s my friend!

*Mavis nods* I am quite pleased you feel that way. Shall we speak to Harold and see if we can work through these difficulties?

Yes. *Betsy nods* *Straightens in her chair* Let’s get him.

Wonderful *Mavis smiles thinly* And here he is.

*Harry staggers into the light, a small carafe of orange juice clutched in his tiny paw*

To be continued…

July 2, 2014