Previously on Betsy’s blog….
Betsy has announced that she is going to be publishing her next book on June 22nd. Harry, Betsy’s Guide on her Quest to become a successful independent author, has called all hands on deck to make sure Betsy doesn’t back out or screw up in another, as yet unknown, way.
When last we left our hearty crew, the aforementioned Harry, Betsy’s Muse (known simply as “Muse”), Skipper (a chipmunk who is the best Habit Implementation Specialist around), Coffee (the beverage of champions), and the Blogosphere (who can be kind of a jerk), were all gathered in Harry’s office in Betsy’s brain, preparing to boldly go where Betsy has never gone before. They are also, as fate would have it, dressed in vintage Star Trek uniforms. There’s even a uniform for Betsy! Yes, it has a red shirt, but…hmmm…
Harry, the Captain Kirk of this little drama, is trying to get his ship underway. But first he has to figure out what’s left to be done. Does Betsy know? Does she even have a clue? And, more importantly, will she be able to evade the Dark Voice – the force trying to push her off her path – long enough to get her starship to the finish line?
Let’s see….
*Harry pounds on the arms of his captain’s chair with his little paws* Attention, people. The Dark Voice is already trying to invade my ship. We need a plan and we need it now before Betsy becomes a Borg!
*Muse sits on the sofa next to Coffee* Set phasers to stun?
No! *Harry pounds the arms of the chair* We will not just stun this time. Set phasers to KILL!
*Betsy turns from pulling on her uniform shirt* I have phasers in my brain? When did I get them? Can I use them anytime I want?
It’s a metaphor. *Muse settles back and crosses legs* Someday you’ll know about such things.
*Harry glares at everyone in the office impartially* We have to remain focused. The Dark Voice is always strongest at the end of the journey, just when you’re ready to take the last steps. It knows that if Betsy can break through her final barriers, she might actually end up on the right path. It doesn’t want that to happen. It’s trying to knock this starship off course and we can’t let that happen! We’re going to have to hit Warp Nine and hold it to the finish line! Now, what still needs to be done to make this book a reality?
*all eyes turn to Betsy*
*Betsy smooths down her uniform shirt* *Looks up to see everyone staring at her* What?
*Harry growls at her* What do you still need to do to get the book out? Come on, I’m aging here.
*Betsy blinks* But…but…I didn’t prepare! I didn’t know there would be a test. I didn’t bring my notes!
That’s illogical *Coffee sips a cup of himself* We are in your brain. Therefore, all of your notes are here.
Good point…hey. In the last post you were playing Scotty. That sounded more like Spock.
I’m expanding my role.
*Muse reaches over to Betsy and pats her arm* Just let it go. They’ll get it out of their system sooner or later.
Damn it, Muse! *Harry pounds chair* This isn’t a game. We need to move!
*Muse stares at him coolly* Excuse me?
*Harry returns her stare* *Swallows* Um, sorry. Ma’am.
*Muse nods* Good.
Wow. *Betsy leans towards Muse* I wish I could do that. What role are you playing?
My own. *Muse leans back in seat again* But Captain Harry and Mr. Coffee do have a point. What’s left to do?
Here. *Skipper hands Betsy a sheaf of papers* I took the liberty of downloading some information from your gray matter.
*Betsy stares at the papers* Thanks. Way to communicate there, Skipper.
*Skipper shrugs* I was bored. Without her comm screens, Lt. Uhura doesn’t have much to do..
Right. *Betsy shuffles through papers* Okay. The edits are finished. I’m giving the manuscript one final read-through, and then the body of the book will be done.
Good. *Harry settles back in his chair*
*Betsy continues to read* Then I need to get the front matter and back matter finished.
Matter? *Harry surges forward* What matter?
*Betsy shrugs* That’s like the copyright page and the author bio and stuff like that. I have most of it roughed out.
Oh. Okay. *Harry sits back again* *waves paw* Make it so.
*Betsy stares at him* I just said I would.
*Muse reaches out and taps paper* What else?
*Betsy reads* Oh, just a few little things. Convert the book into the various formats and make it look nice, and set up accounts with the different vendors, and figure out categories and keywords and metadata, and get the book up for preorder as an ebook, and set up a newsletter link on my site, and figure out how to do print on demand, and get ISBN numbers, and… *gulps* Golly. That’s a lot.
*Coffee frowns* Hmmm. Yes, it’s life. But not as we know it. I suggest more caffeine to help you work faster or your aspirations will place you in a Vulcan mind-meld and you’ll be stuck.
More caffeine? But I already can’t sleep! *Betsy pulls hair*
You’ve got to keep going now. *Blogosphere cackles* Resistance is futile.
We’ll help. *Skipper bounces up and down on keyboard* I can open all hailing frequencies.
NO! *Harry stands* *tugs gold uniform shirt down over round tummy* If you open the hailing frequencies, the Dark Voice might sneak in. We cannot allow that.
*Skipper pouts* But I want to open all of the hailing frequencies. That’s all I ever get to do. I don’t even have my own phaser.
I said, no. *Harry struts around chair* *stares out into Betsy’s brain* Betsy knows the way to the stars, but if the Dark Voice attacks, her shields may fail and she’ll be cast adrift.
*Skipper continues to pout* Aye, aye, Captain.
*Betsy stares at Harry* *chews on her bottom lip* What if I can’t do it?
*Harry looks at her with big, dark eyes* You can do it. You will do it.
*Blogosphere shifts position* *smirks* Too late now anyway. We’re all watching.
*Muse smacks Blogosphere on the back of its heads*
*Harry continues to watch Betsy* What do you say? Are you ready to take that last step into the final frontier? Are you ready to make the trek? Are you ready to go where you’ve never gone before?
*Betsy clears throat* I am? *voice wobbles*
*Harry clasps hands behind his back* *glares at Betsy* Say it like you mean it.
*Betsy clenches fists* I am!!
*Harry glares at her* Say it louder. Are you ready to go?
*Betsy jumps into the air* YES, I AM! *gives double fistpump*
*Harry gestures* Then, make it so, number one.
YYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *Betsy runs out of post*
*Harry looks at the Muse* We’d better keep an eye on her.
*Muse sighs* Tell me about it. She still has on the red shirt.
To be continued…
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