Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to… Betsy’s! Got! Objectives! Part 2. (here’s part 1) *thunderous applause* First, let’s meet our cast of characters. *music starts playing*
He’s a white gerbil trying to climb the Quest Guide ladder and he needs Betsy to get moving towards becoming a successful independent author. He’s… Harry! *music swells* *applause* Next, she’s the Muse and she’s the…Muse! *music swells* *roars of applause* She’s a chipmunk who knows how to get things done and is one of the best Habit Implementation Specialists in the land. She’s…Skipper! *applause* *cheers* He’s THE caffeinated beverage of champions and responsible for most of Betsy’s waking moments. He’s…Coffee! *screams of adoration* Now, now. Don’t mob the coffee, ladies and gentlemen. *laughter* Finally, meet our contestant. She’s an author of dubious talent and so-so perseverance. She is, of course…Betsy! *music stops* *silence* *crickets*
When last we left Betsy’s blog, Habit Implementation Specialist, Skipper, had given Betsy the assignment to think about objectives. She’s supposed to be presenting them for us tonight. But has Betsy given any thought whatsoever to objectives? Will she be able to dance her way through the explanations? Or will she go down in flames. The judges are waiting to find out!
*Betsy enters her brain, holding a folder of papers* *Looks around nervously* *Heads down a corridor to a section of her brain she has not visited since giving oral reports in college* *Pauses outside a ganglion* *Tries to go through papers in the folder*
*Ganglion opens* *Coffee peers out* Ma cherie, are you coming in? Ze are waiting.
I, um, sure. I’m coming in. *Betsy puts papers back in folder* I’m just a little nervous, you know? Skipper was really serious about the whole objective thing the last time I saw her.
Need a sip?
Oh, yes, please.
*Coffee extends arm* *Betsy sips from his wrist*
Thank you soooo much. *Betsy straightens her shoulders* Okay, let’s get this over with.
Magnifique! Come along.
*Betsy and Coffee walk past ganglion and enter a big empty space* *Spotlights hit them as they walk across a stage* *Betsy holds up her hand to shield her eyes as Coffee leads her forward*
Ladies, Harry, she is here.
We can see that. *Harry sounds bored*
Harry? *Betsy blinks to clear her vision* *Harry, Skipper and The Muse are sitting at the edge of the stage behind a long desk* *They have notepads in front of them and are all wearing severe expressions* *Betsy gulps*
I will see you later when we have ze scores, yes? On with the show! *Coffee exits, stage right*
Wait! *Betsy tries to stop him, but he eludes her* What am I supposed to do now?
Tell us your first objective.
*Betsy blinks* Muse? Is that you?
Who do you think it is? Some other little voice giving you ideas? Come on, spill.
You did work on your objectives, didn’t you? *Skipper sounds severe* I know you were sick last week, but there are no excuses.
Yeah *Harry lounges behind the desk* Hit us with an objective and make it a big one. Go.
Stop pressuring me! *Betsy fumbles with papers* Everyone just wait a minute! Okay. *clears throat* My objective is….I want to write stories. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your servers. *Betsy turns to run away*
Wait! *Skipper jumps up on top of desk* That’s it? That’s your big objective?
*Betsy hunches her shoulders* Yes?
Wow. *Skipper shakes head* I’ve worked with some stubborn clients, but….wow. Did you even think about objectives since the last time we talked? Did you even read the blog posts you wrote the last time we talked about goals?
*Betsy traces a circle with her sneaker* I really was sick, you know.
In other words, no. She didn’t do nuthin’ *Harry spits out a sunflower seed* I need some orange juice.
*Skipper sits on the edge of the desk* *Little legs swing* And this is why you have trouble getting anywhere. You don’t know where you want to end up.
*Betsy ducks head* Do, too.
*Muse stretches* This is going to be a long one. We need to be comfortable. *snaps fingers* *they are back in Harry’s office* *Coffee turns around, surprised*
Why do you have a little umbrella stuck in your head? *Harry studies him* And is that a lemon slice?
*Coffee draws self up with a wounded air* I was trying for a tropical flavor, if you must know.
Right. *Muse settles onto old, comfortable sofa* I think I’m going to need another sort of a drink with a little umbrella before this is over.
Could we possibly get back to the objectives now? *Skipper stands with hands on hips* This is important.
Oh, we don’t have to– *Betsy shuts up when Skipper glares at her*
We do have to, and it looks like we have to start at the beginning. Again. And maybe, just maybe, the concepts will sink in this time.
*Betsy hangs head in shame* I’ll do better. I promise.
Okay. *Skipper shakes shoulders, hands, rolls head* Let’s start.
*Betsy sighs* Hooray?
To be continued…
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