The Quest Continues…

Oh, my goodness, but hasn’t it been a while since we’ve checked in with the crew living in Betsy’s brain!  As you may, or may not, know/remember/care, these are the ones helping Betsy pursue her Quest to become a Successful Independent Author. Or perhaps they are just disembodied voices who speak to Betsy night and day, whispering suggestions for her to follow. Perhaps we should all be afraid.

Very afraid.

But no! Nay! These are good voices, mostly! Fear not! Instead, let us meet them again and become reacquainted.

*Draws back a red velvet stage curtain with a flourish*

First, we have Harry, who is Betsy’s Guide on her Quest. Harry was sent by the Muse Council to Guide her path. When he first arrived, he was but a lowly White Gerbil, but eventually he advanced to the state of the White Rabbit of Legend. He has dreams of attaining the mythical goal of White Stag. Of course, any progress he makes depends on Betsy, so he might be out of luck.

Next, welcome Skipper the Chipmunk, who is a Habit Implementation Specialist. Her job is to help Betsy put new, healthy, habits in place to support her journey towards her goals. Skipper recently entered into therapy because of habits Betsy chose to implement during the Great Time of COVID, but she’s feeling much better now.

And here is Coffee, the Beverage of Champions, who is perhaps the most fulfilled and happy of the helpers in Betsy’s world. He has continued his essential mission of providing caffeinated pleasure, and indeed he has excelled at it. Sometimes he has been far, far too much of a good thing.

We have Clara, a dust bunny, who is Betsy’s Life Task Specialist. She works with Skipper, but is more focused on making sure the house stays clean. Clara is probably the least fulfilled and happy of the helpers on Team Betsy, because… cleaning? Really? Next you’re going to expect a shower.

And finally we have The Muse, the Spirit of Creation who needs no introduction.

So, there they are. Our cast of characters and that includes Betsy herself, of course. But it’s sad to say that things have been a little quiet amongst the synapses of Betsy’s brain over the past few weeks (months?) Are any helpers besides Coffee still there? Have they all jumped ship and gone off to torment the guys on Ghost Adventures? Have they poofed into nothingness? Are they fat-assing in front of the television eating chips and hoarding toilet paper?

Has Harry reverted back to gerbilhood? Has Skipper collapsed under the strain? Has Coffee brewed? Has Clara joined her family under the bed? Has the Muse picked up her skirts and gotten out of town?

And where the world is Betsy?

Let’s see…

 

*Harry is sitting in his office in Betsy’s brain, glumly studying the gerbil habitat he hasn’t had to use since he upgraded to White Rabbit status* *He looks behind him and sighs again when he sees a long, thin tail instead of a puffy white one* *He reaches up to measure his ears, then sighs when he realizes they are not as long as they were the day before*

*The office door opens without a knock and Skipper comes marching in*

“What is she doing? What the HECK is she doing?” Skipper waves the papers she is holding wildly. “She’s not sleeping enough. She’s not eating right. She’s gotten all involved in work that is not her life’s work. All of my good efforts are going to waste, and my therapist is NOT happy!”

“She’s not cleaning her house,” says a snuffly voice from behind Skipper.

“Hey, Clara,” Harry greets the dust bunny.

“Have you felt the anxiety in this place?” Skipper demands. “Have you felt the worry? Her brain is a mess! There are all these voices in here yelling all the time and they aren’t even Betsy’s! We started out last year with such promise and it all went down the crapper! And now here we are at the beginning of a new year, and it’s not changing, and I’m telling you that I cannot work under these conditions!”

“’Ello, my friends,” Coffee says as he strolls in.

“Oh, God! French Roast?” Skipper tosses the papers she was holding around the office. “You’re only adding fuel to the fire!”

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s me,” says the Internet as it saunters into the room.

“You.” Skipper points a paw at the Internet. “You get out. You have no place here.”

“Oh, I think you’re wrong about that. I’ve got me some cozy digs in this brain. I’ll get out when she makes me get out, But as long as she keeps scrolling, here I am and here I’ll stay.”

“You’re the reason there are so many voices yelling in here! You brought in a mob!”

The Internet shrugs. “I’m pretty sure Betsy did that. I’m just the, uh facilitator. Who am I to judge?”

“That’s all you do is judge! And get angry!”

The Internet shrugs again. “Pretty much, yeah. Not like I care. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Fun!  Fun! Aargh!” Skipper twirls to face Harry.  “You’re the Guide, Harry. Aren’t you going to do something about this situation?”

Harry pulls his tail around to the front and strokes his paw through the thin fur. “She doesn’t listen to me anymore. She listens to Internet.”

“Damn straight!” crows the Internet.

“And that’s it? You’re just going to give up?” Skipper demands.

“The Muse left,” Harry says sadly. “She said something about Bimini. As long as Betsy chooses to listen outside of herself, there was no point in her staying.”

“Oh.” Skipper swallows.

Internet cackles.

Clara snuffles.

Coffee brews.

“So, um, is that it then?” Skipper asks in a very small voice.

“It sure is,” the Internet rubs its hands together in glee. “Clear out, boys and girls, there’s a new dog in town. The first thing I’m going to do is redecorate this dump. I think maybe a few riots will really jazz up the place.”

Skipper pulls her whiskers.  “Harry?”

Harry sighs sadly. “Without the Muse, and, most importantly, without Betsy herself, my paws are tied. As long as Betsy chooses to look outside, there’s not much I can do. She has to decide, she has to do the work, and she has to come back home. But so far… She’s not.” He shrugs woefully. “Skipper, I, um, I think I’ve… failed.”

“No! Harry, no!” Skipper gasps.

“Bwhahahahaha!” The Internet laughs loud and long. “I knew it!  I did it!  I knew that these last few months would be enough to push her over the edge. I knew that all I had to do was open that black hole a little wider and she’d fall in! She’s mine! Mine! MINE!! Bwhahahahahaha!”

*Suddenly Harry’s office door slams open and Betsy comes striding in*

“What? You?” The Internet gasps.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m back, bitches.”

“No!” The Internet shakes its fists.

“Yes! And you know what? That WIFI is totally turned off, so you can just get the heck out of here.”

“My signal! My signal!” The Internet clutches its throat.

Betsy waves her hand. “Go away now.”

“This isn’t over!” rages Internet. “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! Help! I’m melting!”

*Internet melts into the floor*

“Yeah, well, I have cats, sucker, and they will cut you.”  Betsy stands with her hands on her hips as a breeze blows through her hair, which has not had a haircut for about a year (literally), so it is long and flowing. “Skipper, I need an action plan. Clara, get those dishes done. Coffee, start brewing. We’re going to need a full pot.” Betsy takes a step forward.  “Harry…”

“Yes?” Harry asks, pulling himself straighter.

“Let’s get that computer booted up and see about starting again.”

 

There’s still a pandemic. There are still challenges. There are still fears and uncertainties. The Muse might really have gone to Bimini. But here’s to turning off the chatter and taking steps into the future. Happy New Year, everyone!

 

To be continued…