Betsy Horvath

Author: Betsy Horvath

  • The Story Of A First Draft (Part Two)

    pathsignsIf you joined us for Part One of The Story of a First Draft, you know that the Muse came to Betsy in the darkness of her mind.  Well, Betsy’s mind is generally dark (and somewhat blank), but in this case the darkness represented the story she is about to write before the writing began.  The Muse pointed Betsy towards a spotlight on the far side of the darkness, which is the ending of the story – where they thought they wanted to end up.  Then she indicated a glowing square under Betsy’s feet – the situation they’re starting with.

    Betsy and the Muse talk, and suddenly there is a faint path between the glowing square and the spotlight.  That path is the initial vision of the story – the story in potential, as it were.  Now Betsy is ready to set out on her journey by taking her first steps towards a first draft.  Just a side note, if Betsy were a plotter, these steps would be taken by writing an extensive outline.  However, Betsy is a pantser with trust issues – in other words, she plots a little bit and then writes by the seat of her pants (a true pantser doesn’t plot at all).  She did enough plotting to uncover the initial vision of the story.  Now she’s going to see if she can actually find the story the vision indicated.

    Will she succeed?  Let’s see…

     

    *Betsy is standing on the glowing square of the situation she is starting with*  *The Muse stands next to her*

    Here we go.  *Betsy writes the first scene* *a solid glowing square appears at her feet* Cool! *Betsy steps onto the new glowing square* Oh, I see how to get to the next square. *Betsy writes the next scene* *A new glowing square appears adjacent to the first one* *Betsy steps onto that* *Muse walks with her, whispering directions, humming tunes, pushing stray thoughts to and fro* *Betsy continues writing, continues stepping onto the new glowing squares that appear*  *Suddenly, she stops*

    *Muse stops humming* What’s up?

    I don’t know what to do. See that little spur going off from this square?  It looks like there are two ways I can go.  I can either follow the faint path, or I can go this other way.  Maybe I should do that instead.

    Do what you want, but that’s a whole different direction.

    But this other way is better. The faint path is boring. This other way will be much more interesting.  Besides, I know what I’m doing.

    *Muse mumbles* bnwn2h0nhgh0ah

    Yes, I think I’ll take this other way. *Betsy writes* *Glowing square appears* *Betsy steps onto it* *Betsy writes again* *another glowing square appears* *Betsy steps onto it*  *Betsy looks around*  Hey! How did I get all the way out here?

    Nbon3ngnngnngngn *Muse mumbles* *Muse has not moved*

    *Betsy thinks*  I’m not getting any closer to the spotlight. In fact the spotlight seems to be getting further away. At this rate I’ll have to have a lot more glowing squares to get there. And I seem to be up against this black wall… *Betsy runs hand over wall* Maybe I can break through it.

    *Betsy writes squares and tosses them down, but can’t take any steps forward*

    I can’t write! This is so stupid! This book is so stupid! I’m so stupid! *Betsy sits down on glowing square* *eats some pastries* *sulks* I completely suck. Everything I’ve ever written sucks. I should just throw it all out and forget about it and live in a cubicle forever.

    *Days pass*

    *Betsy thinks*  Hey, you know what? I wonder if I should go back to that place where I decided not to follow the faint path and went out on this spur instead. *Betsy carefully retraces footsteps back along the glowing blocks* *vines and brambles have grown up, making it hard to see her way* *she tries to untangle the threads weaving all around her feet* *finally she gives up and just cuts them* *immediately finds herself on glowing block with the muse*

    Finally! *Muse glares at her, hands on hips* I told you not to go that way.

    You were just mumbling. *Betsy frowns*

    You weren’t listening. *Muse points* Now go that way, dumbass.

    *Betsy writes and a glowing square appears* *she steps onto it* Hey! I was able to move forward! I can see my way now.

    Well, duh.

    *process continues* *then Betsy pauses* Hey! I think I see it now!

    *Muse buffs nails on robe* *holds them out* *admires them* What do you see?

    The way to get to the ending. *Betsy frowns* *considers the path*  *considers the horizon*  *considers the glowing squares*  No, I think I’ve made a mistake again.

    *Muse pauses in act of freshening lipstick* What?  Why?

    *Betsy points to the horizon*  *Now there are many faint spotlights in the distance*  *some are big, some are small*  Look – there are a ton of other endings out there.  I think I’m picking the wrong one.

    *Muse snaps lipstick closed and stows it away in robe*  *huffs out sigh of disgust* But the one you’re heading towards is the one you’ve been heading towards, basically, since the beginning. Why in the heck do you think it’s the wrong one now?

    Because the other ones seem prettier and more interesting and won’t it be fun if we do this and this and this? *writes squares, tosses them down*

    *Muse throws up hands*  But now you’re heading in a completely different direction!  Again!

    Yeah, but the story I’ve been writing is stupid and I should never have written it this way and I’m stupid and the characters are stupid and nobody will ever want to read it and I’ll never be good enough.  Oh, dang it!  I just know I’ve just made a mistake back in the beginning and now I need to forget all of this and start all over again! *Betsy turns around* *Betsy begins to gather up squares as she races back to where she started*

    *Muse grabs her arm and stops her* What the hell are you doing?

    I told you. I’m starting over. *Betsy cuddles glowing squares to her chest* But I can’t bear to get rid of any single little thing I’ve written, so I won’t delete these.  I’ll store them away.

    *Muse rolls eyes* I’ve told you. You have to trust the story! This can go a hundred different ways, but this is the way you’re taking it.  If it’s not exactly right, you can refine it in the second draft.

    No, no.  It needs to be perfect now.  *Betsy hides glowing squares in a closet for safekeeping* Okay, now let’s start again.

    *Muse sighs*  Oh, for heaven’s sake.

     

    To be continued…

     

    brambles

     

     

     

  • The Story Of A First Draft (Part One)

    spotlightAs noted in the previous blog post, Betsy and the Muse have been taking a good hard look at how Betsy writes.  They figured that if they could see what Betsy is actually doing in her writing process, they might be able to improve it and speed things up at little bit.  After all, Betsy needs to get jiggy with production in 2015 if she’s going to meet her indie author/publisher goals.

    Because Betsy tends to think in stories, she has written one – an allegory, if you will – to show how she seems to write a first draft.  It would perhaps have been a better plan to write about this in a more forthright manner, as other blogs do.  It was perhaps immature to create a, dare I say, dramatic rendition of the process.  And yes, it would perhaps have been kinder not to expose you, gentle and innocent reader, to the wild landscape of Betsy’s mindscape.

    On the other hand, you ARE reading this blog.  What did you expect?  You take what you get.

    Since things are never as short as you think they should be, this story will be posted in a three parts.  Here’s part one –

     

     

    *Betsy stands in a pitch dark space in her brain* *holds up her hand in front of her face* *can’t see anything at all* Huh. Creepy.

    *suddenly a spotlight shines from far away* *in the dark space it seems very bright* *Betsy squints at it* *there is a figure standing in that spotlight* *figure waves*

    Muse? Is that you?

    Yeah.  It’s me.

    Crap! *Betsy jumps* *spins around* *loses her balance* *Muse grabs her arm to steady her* Don’t do that!

    *Muse stands next to Betsy on a silver square* *Lit from below, she looks a little distorted* *shrugs*  Hey, I always surprise you. I have to get my kicks somewhere.

    My heart is pounding. *Betsy fists hand over heart and takes a few deep breaths* Okay, so what is all this?

    This is your story *Muse waves hand through air* *stars sparkle briefly, revealing that they are standing in dark dome*

    *Betsy frowns* I can’t see a stinking thing.

    *Muse points a glowing finger to the spotlight* That is where you need to end up, at least at this moment. The exact position may change as you walk towards it.

    *Betsy’s mouth drops open* But how can I get there? I can’t see anything? There could be chasms or mountains or…or…crocodiles between here and there!

    *Muse nods* There might.

    *Betsy glares at her* So then how in the heck am I supposed to get there? And you say it’s a moving target? I’ll never get there! I can’t do it!

    *Muse huffs out a sigh* How do you think you’ll get there? One step at a time. Duh!

    *Betsy waves hands maniacally* One step at a time? One step at a time?  I can’t even see my hands. See? *waves hands again* One step is all it will take to get hopelessly trapped in a Fire Swamp or eaten by an ROUS! Um, that’s Rodent of Unusual Size, by the way.

    *Muse slaps Betsy on back of head* Yeah, I’ve seen “The Princess Bride”, moron.

    So? Then you know how it goes. One minute you’re walking right along, the next – boom! – into sucked the lightning sand! And then you’re only mostly dead! This is impossible! Inconceivable!

    Okay. Calm down. *Muse puts her hands on Betsy’s shoulders* * shakes hard* You can do this. You’ve done this before. Focus.

    *Betsy whimpers* Okay.

    All right. *Muse pulls Betsy with her onto glowing square upon which she is standing* Do you see this?

    *Betsy squints* It’s a glowing square.

    *Muse sighs* Yes. It’s a glowing square. And can you tell me what it says on the square?

    *Betsy looks down* It says, “Calvin left June fifteen years ago because he believed people when they told him she wasn’t good enough for him. Now he’s back in town” *looks up at Muse* So?

    So, that’s your beginning. That’s the situation we’ll start with. And that spotlight over there is where you want to end up.

    *Betsy blinks* That’s where they get together?

    Yes. That’s the condition we’ll end with. Because this is a romance, we already know they’ll end up together. We just don’t know how or why or when or what.

    Oh, is that all. Well, that’s easy then.

    *Muse slaps Betsy on the back of the head again* That’s what we have to figure out because that’s what the book is about, dummy.

    Ow. *Betsy rubs head* So how do we do that?

    *Muse shrugs*  We just figure it out.

    *Muse and Betsy talk* *glowing lights flicker across rounded black dome* *all different colors flash on and off* *days pass* *perhaps weeks* *then, suddenly, there it is – a pathway glowing very faintly from the starting square to the ending spotlight*

    Wow. *Betsy looks at the faint path* What is that?

    That’s the way we think things will go. That is your vision of the story, at least as it exists now.

    *Betsy looks up at Muse* We don’t for sure?

    Well, the story knows, but you’ll have to work to uncover it.

    *Betsy pouts* That doesn’t seem fair.

    *Muse shrugs* Hey, if it was easy everyone would do it.

    *Betsy looks at the faint path again* So, what now?

    *Muse smiles* Now you start.

    Where?

    Let’s start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start.

    *Betsy draws in a deep breath* Okay. Here we go….

     

    To be continued…

     

    path

     

     

  • Wrap Party

    CelebrationBetsy, Harry (the white gerbil who is the Guide for her Quest), and the Muse have decided to get together to reach out and touch base and create synergy heading into 2015. Where does Betsy stand with her writing? What are her goals for the new year? Is her Muse having an affair with Coffee?

    Let’s see….

    *Betsy pushes open door to Harry’s office in her brain* Hello! Is anyone here?

    Betsy! Dollface! Come on in. *Harry lounges on top of his gerbil habitat tower browsing through his gPad*

    Is Muse here too? *Betsy comes further into the office* Oh, there she is. *Waves at muse*

    Hi, Betsy! *Muse waves back from where she sits on the worn sofa* Oh, and you brought Coffee! Hi, honey!

    Bon jour, mon petite. *Coffee saunters over to the Muse and kisses her hand* How might I…serve you? Heh, heh, heh

    Oh, Coffee. *Muse flutters her eyelashes and titters* You know I like you sweet and light.

    Sheesh, you guys can make anything sound dirty. *Betsy drops onto the sofa next to the Muse and settles back with a sigh*

    Well, I am a romance writing fool, after all. *Muse accepts a mug of coffee from Coffee and sips* Perfect, darling.

    Mon amour…. *Coffee breathes his scent under the Muse’s nose*

    Stop it! *Betsy covers her eyes*

    You’re the one who got us together. *Muse sips* Speaking of getting together, why are we here?

    *Betsy drops hands* *Looks around* I was hoping Skipper could make it too.

    No worries. *Harry holds up his gPad* She had a New Years Resolution Emergency Planning Meeting, but I’m filming it for her.

    Oh. *Betsy looks suspiciously at gPad* Okay. As long as it doesn’t end up on YouTube.

    Trust me. *Harry smiles* Now GuideTube, maybe…

    Shut up. *Betsy shrugs* Whatever, I guess. Anyway, I just wanted to get together to kind of, well, wrap up the year.

    *Coffee comes over to her and pours another mug of himself* *Hands it to Betsy* It was ze best of ze times, it was ze worst of ze times.

    Would you knock off the French accent. *Betsy sips* Ahhhhh…nice

    Thank you. I do try.

    What’s that accent?  British roast? *Betsy frowns*  I didn’t know there was such a thing.

    *Coffee smiles* No, darling.  I’m Premium today.

    *Betsy sighs* Anyway, you’re right. 2014 started off really badly.

    *Muse reaches over and pats Betsy’s hand* But it’s ending on a good note, at least writing-wise.

    Yeah, Skipper’s gonna have a few things to say to you about some of your habits, though. *Harry holds up gPad again* And she’s watching. She knows when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake, she knows when you’re eating ice cream.

    She sounds like a creeper. *Betsy waves that away* Anyway. Today I really wanted to just talk about the writing.

    Okay. *Harry props gPad up against side of tower* *Pulls a notepad and pen out of a fold of his fur* *Flips notepad open* *Holds up pen* Shoot.

    You’re going to take notes by paw? *Betsy blinks* Harry, I’m surprised at you.

    I’m a gerbil of many talents. *Harry shakes out fur* Okay, I know you and Muse have been meeting fairly regularly. I even felt a tingle in my tail the other day. I think it might be shortening.

    *Coffee blinks* Your tail felt like butter or another fat used to make pastries or bread?

    *Harry rolls eyes* Not shortening like you’d bake with, caffeine-brain. Shortening as in getting shorter. *Waves paw towards his back end* Like maybe it’s getting ready to transform into a rabbit tail.

    *Muse leans back on sofa* And that’s a good thing?

    Honey, I’m so close to white hare status I can almost taste it. *Flicks paw at Betsy* Come on, doll. Talk to me. Take me home to the carrot patch.

    Um, okay. *Betsy looks at the Muse* So, “Handling It” is finished, right?

    Yup. *The Muse takes a lollipop out of a pocket and sucks* *Pulls it out of her mouth again with a pop* We just have to read it through quickly and send it to the editor. *Points at Betsy with lollipop* By January 3rd. You promised.

    I know. *Betsy makes note in her own notepad* We need to make sure it ties in with “Believing It” now that “Believing It”’s first draft is finished.

    The first draft is finished? *Harry looks over the reading glasses he is suddenly wearing*

    Pretty much. *Betsy glances at Muse, who shrugs* There are a few scenes I know I’ll need to add, but I’m calling the first draft done. I’ll add in the missing scenes when I’m working on the second draft.

    Like the sex scene. *The Muse grins at Coffee* Hubba hubba

    We’re at about 48,000 words, and we’ll probably end up at around 50-52,000. That’s the size of one of those little Harlequins they sell in racks at the Walmart, so it’s longer than I thought it would be, but I’m good with it.

    Good, good. *Harry scribbles* When are you aiming to have that one finished.

    *Betsy glances at the Muse again* Well, we want to have it completely finished by the end of January.

    *Harry quirks eyebrows at her* Ambitious.

    *Betsy shrugs helplessly* Yeah, especially since I want to keep writing new words on other projects while I’m in the editing process. I’ll just do the best I can.

    As long as you keep at it, we’ll make it. *The Muse leans forward to pat Betsy’s knee*

    What are the other projects? *Harry frowns* We really need to get moving on the newsletter thing, you know.

    I know. *Betsy chews her bottom lip* I know what I want to do, so I’ll be working on that and planning out “Finding It” and “Facing It” while I’m finishing up “Believing It”.

    That seems–

    WHAT ABOUT THE BLOG??

    *Betsy, Harry and Muse all look up and around the brain*

    Blogosphere? Is that you? *Betsy clasps hands to breast* Have you remembered me again?

    Never mind him. *Harry adjusts his glasses* About the newsletter—

    WHAT ABOUT THE BLOG??

    Oh, but I have answer. *Betsy bounces up and down* I’m going to blog once a week and be more consistent in keeping to that schedule

    I’VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE.

    Tell him what we’ve come up with for the first posts. *Muse nudges Betsy’s knee*

    Well. *Betsy looks at Muse for confidence* We’ve got some posts written where we go through how I seem to be writing, and then we’re going to analyze it.

    FASCINATING.

    No, no. *Betsy sits forward* Looking at my own process has already helped me. And it should be entertaining. I hope.

    *SIGH* WELL, IT WILL BE A BLOG ANYWAY.

    Okay. *Harry stands* We need to wrap up this wrap up. Are we ready to head into 2015? Are we ready to CRUSH this new year?

    *Betsy, Muse and Coffee throw fists into the air* We are!

    *SIGH* YEAH, WHATEVER.

    *Harry jumps up and down* Then let’s go DO THIS THING!

    YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Betsy, Muse, Coffee, and Harry all run out of brain.

    WONDERFUL.  I’M OUTTA HERE.

     

    To be continued…

     

    sun-626

     

     

  • Progress? Yes! Progress!

    longroadHello there!  Well, it’s been – *checks calendar* – EEEP!  two months since the last time I’ve blogged.  Shocking, but true.  But this time I’ve been silent because I’ve been making some…wait for it…wait for it… Progress!  Yes, I said Progress!  Granted, it’s been a shambling zombie-like run towards progress, my arms outstretched, bits and pieces of me falling by the wayside, but a wee bit of progress has been grasped in my fingers curved like claws, pulled towards my cavernous….er….sorry.

    Anyway, I’ve made some progress.

    At first I stopped blogging so I could put all of my creative energy and time into finishing my new contemporary romance, Handling It.  I was able to finish that book at the end of October and get it to beta readers.  The readers have gotten back to me, so it will be going to my editor after the holidays.  Huzzah!  Thank you, everyone!

    Because nothing’s as simple as you think it will be, as I was finishing the polish draft of Handling It, I realized I needed to write a novella to lead into the series.  Although the novella – Believing It – will be outside the plot arc set up in Handling It, it establishes motivations for some actions that are important not only in Handling It, but in the next two books in the series.

    Since the novella is really first, it might become permanently free to lead people into the series (I have to think about that some more).  I’d like to try and release it at the same time as Handling It, if possible, so I’ve been trying to get it finished as quickly as I can.  As of today, I have 39,780 words written, which is great for five weeks work.  It’s not finished, but I’d really like to see the final length be around 40,000 words.  And that means I’ll be doing some cutting in the second draft.  Ah, well.

    The covers are finished for both, and the sales blurb is pretty final for Handling It.  I’ll be doing reveals for both after the holidays.

    I’ve also been giving a lot of thought to the newsletter I don’t have yet.  😛  The good news is, I think I know what I want to do.  The bad news is, I can’t decide if I have time to do it or if I’ll just be setting myself up for failure.  I just have to remember that nothing’s written in stone.  I can always change my mind.

    More to come on all of this, but I wanted to let you know that things are moving right along.  This time I HAVEN’T been wasting all of the time while I’ve been away. Yay!  Hooray for maturity!

    P.S. – I’m going to try to get back on a more regular blogging schedule now.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m sure Harry and the Muse and Skipper will have a LOT to say!

    railroad

  • Birthin’ Galaxies

    starsPreviously on Betsy’s Blog…

    Betsy suffered a bit of a meltdown on her path to indie authorpreneurship and was sidetracked by her deep and passionate love of baked goods.  When last we met, Harry, the white gerbil who is the Guide for her Quest, lectured Betsy quite severely about the importance of maintaining her health.  He was very stern.

     But he was right.

    It’s been a little quiet here at the blog since then, but Betsy and Harry are back now.  As we join them, they are laying in a field inside Betsy’s mind, gazing up at a beautiful night sky.

    Wait…a field?  Inside Betsy’s mind?  What the….  Let’s go see what’s going on now….

     

    *Betsy settles more comfortably into the lush, fragrent grass of the field*  *Laces fingers across her stomach*  *Gazes with rapture at beautiful night sky*  *Stars twinkle*  *Aurora borealis dance*  *Galaxies spin*

    This is so beautiful!

    I know it, doll.  *Harry stretches out beside Betsy, all four paws in the air* *Tail curls up to preserve his dignity*

    I can’t believe this is inside my mind.  *Betsy watches a shooting star*

    You knew.  You don’t always let yourself see it is all.  *Harry curls forepaws*

    I don’t understand.

    This is where your ideas come from, kid.  It’s like the, whatyacallit, freaking well of creation or something.

    Oh.

    *Betsy and Harry watch the sky*  *Crickets chirp*

    I hope there are no spiders crawling around underneath me.  Or earwigs.  *Betsy shudders*

    It’s your brain.  *Harry shrugs*  Could be anything.

    Thanks.

    *silence*

    So, this is where ideas are born?  *Betsy puts her hand up to see if she can touch a star*

    Yup.  And dreams and visions and all that kind of crap.

    It seems so real!  *Betsy breathes deeply*

    It IS real.

    *Betsy turns head to look at Harry*  Come on.  This is inside my mind, for Pete’s sake.

    *Harry shrugs again*  Doesn’t matter.  All of this *waves paw* is right there inside you.  It’s not an illusion.  It’s real.

    Wow.  *Betsy thinks*  Then how come things don’t just happen because I want them to happen?

    Well.  *Harry itches chin with forepaw*  See, that’s the thing.  Just because something is real, doesn’t mean it exists, like, in the world.

    *Betsy blinks*  Huh?

    So this *Harry gestures at sky* is true.  And you know it’s true.  But the stuff in this place hasn’t actually happened yet.  So, it’s true, but it might not actually exist.

    *Betsy blinks*  Huh?

    *Harry sighs*  In other words, all of this is waiting for you to like, birth it.

    *Betsy sits up*  I ain’t birthin’ no galaxies.

    *Harry sits up and looks at her*  Yes you are.  Whenever you get an idea and make it happen, you’re birthing something from here.

    Huh.  *Betsy thinks*  Huh.  So, not just with my writing, but like when I come up with a plan of how to get out of debt, or how to lose weight, or…

    Or time management or a new business or anything.  *Harry smiles*  It’s from here.  And when you actually DO it, you’re bringing that part of this place into the “real” world.  I mean, yeah, of course with your writing where you’re creating people who haven’t existed before, but with everything.

    Huh.

    But *Harry waggles a paw at Betsy*  Your problem is you come up with a plan or make a decision and then you think it’s done.  Because you can see it here where it is very clear and real and true.  But you still have to DO the thing.  You know?

    Hmmm.  *Betsy thinks*  So you’re telling me that even though I make a plan of how I’m going to eat and be healthy, or how I’m going to manage my time, and it’s very clear and I know that it’s right and true and all, I still have to do it?  It’s not done just because I’ve made a decision?

    Exactly.  *Harry nods*  You still have to birth it so it kind of shines from this place into the “real” world.

    *Betsy lays back in the grass*  Well, that sucks.

    Yeah.  Tell me about it.  *Harry lays back down next to her*

    It sure is pretty here though.  Lots of galaxies.  And…ooooo!  A nebula!

    Yup.

    Let’s just lay here and look at it for a while.

    All right.  *Harry looks at Betsy sternly*  But then you need to get out there and get birthin’

    Okay.

     

    To be continued…

     

    galaxies

     

     

     

  • Taken To The Woodshed

    woodshedPreviously on Betsy’s Blog…

    As we saw in the last post, Betsy has apparently fallen into the den of her own iniquity by eating inappropriately for her diabetic condition.  Again.  In a big way.  When Harry, the Guide for Betsy’s Quest, and the Muse discuss this, Harry promises to have a little chat with Betsy.  After all, she needs to know that ignoring the reality of her body’s health impacts everything else.  Once that sugar/fat/chemical combo starts zinging around in her bloodstream, her life goes right out the window.

    The Muse has gone, promising to return at a more opportune time, and Harry is waiting for Betsy to come out of hiding.  Will he be able to convince her that her health is important and the cornerstone of her Quest?  Let’s see…

     

    *Frontal lobe opens* *Betsy’s sticks her head around the corner* *Looks up and down the corridor*

    Is the Muse gone?

    *Harry crosses arms over tiny chest* What do you think?

    *Betsy slides into the hallway of her brain* *Kicks at a dangling cell*  Yeah.  She’s gone.

    *Harry sighs* Don’t worry. She’ll be back.

    *Betsy looks up* *Meets his eyes briefly* *Looks away*  Are you sure?

    Yeah. *Harry pats Betsy’s ankle* Come to my office, doll.

    *Betsy balks*  You’re going to yell at me.

    *Harry shakes his head*  Not really.  We’re just gonna have a…conversation.

    That’s what they all say.  *Betsy’s feet drag* *Follows Harry to his office in her brain*

    *Harry turns on some lights* *Throws gPad tablet on a table* *Gestures to the sofa*  Have a seat.

    *Betsy perches on edge of sofa*

    *Harry climbs on coffee table* *Studies her*  You know what you did was unhealthy, right?

    *Betsy hangs her head* I was a bad girl.

    Nah. *Harry shrugs* Let’s just say the way you were eating was not advisable for someone with your medical issues.  So maybe we’ll call it “stupid”.

    I know. *Betsy heaves a deep sigh* *Slumps back on sofa* I just couldn’t seem to stop.

    *Harry climbs onto Betsy’s lap*  Look, I live here in your brain, right?  I see the cravings and how your body chemistry gets all out of whack once you start eating the stuff that sets you off.  Yeah, you can stop, but I see how much effort it takes.  I see how difficult it is.  It’s hard as hell.  But–

    *Betsy pouts*  There’s always a but.

    *Harry taps her leg*  BUT, you have to be aware of what you’re doing.  And you have to try not to start in the first place.  Right?

    I guess. *Betsy looks away*

    *Harry fists paws on hips*  You don’t “guess”. You know I’m right.

    *Betsy throws up her hands* I just want to be normal, okay?  I just want to be like everyone else! Other people can eat pastries and ice cream, why can’t I? Why can’t I have a freaking DANISH without going off the deep end and ending up drowning in a cesspit of my own design?

    *Harry shrugs*  Because you’re not normal.

    *Betsy glares at him*  Well, thanks for that.

    I mean it. First, I don’t think you should assume everyone else can eat things without consequences, but we need to focus on you now.  And even if everyone else in the universe could eat whatever they wanted without any ramifications whatsoever, YOU. CAN’T.  You can’t plan a little food holiday. You can’t say you’ll have “just one”. You can’t say “it’s just for today”. Not because the food is wrong necessarily, but because some of it triggers you to hell and back and sets up a destructive cycle.  For YOU.

    *Betsy pouts* Well…it’s not fair.

    *Harry sighs* Look. Let’s have a little reality check here, okay?  You are diabetic. Your body does not process sugars properly and too many fats just makes everything worse.  Sugar stays in your blood instead of going where it needs to go and damages all sorts of blood vessels and nerves and crap.  And your poor kidneys…don’t even get me started on your kidneys.  If they weren’t already working at capacity they’d be asking me to go out and get a bottle of whiskey for them and your liver.  Diabetes KILLS people.  Do you get that?

    *Betsy frowns*  What exactly are you trying to say?

    Oh, for God’s….*Harry jumps up on Betsy’s chest*  *Stares her right in the eyes*  I’m trying to say that when you eat the way you did last week your body goes haywire because it can’t process certain kinds of food properly.  Then your brain, which is part of your body by the way, takes a room at the Insania Motor Lodge for a vacation in Crazy Town.  Then suddenly you wake up and you’re missing a month of your life and a chunk of your income from buying Haagen Dasz!  So you need to NOT.  START.

    Hey! *Betsy glares back at him*  Who made you the boss of me anyway?

    *Harry waves paws in the air*  I’m freaking trying to freaking GUIDE you here!

    For my writing! You’re supposed to Guide me for my writing!  *Betsy bares her teeth*

    *Harry bares his teeth back at her*  I’m supposed to Guide you on your QUEST! And your Quest is to walk your own path, right? Is your path to be a shill for Nestle? NO!

    *Betsy scowls*  Maybe I like Nestle.

    *Harry jumps up and down on Betsy’s chest*  *Falls off*  *Climbs back up again*  I KNOW you love the Nestle people. But you get all of these sugars and fats and chemicals and whatever the hell else running through your system and you can barely function, let alone write. You can’t think. You can’t do anything. And thus we have another year of your life flushed down the toilet.

    *Betsy’s lip quivers*

    Ah, geeze.  Don’t cry. *Harry sighs* *Sits back on haunches*  Look. You have a serious medical condition and you are basically addicted to the highly-palatable food that make you worse. You just can’t do it anymore, babe. You can’t. Your body, your health, is the cornerstone of…of…of everything. You need to eat in a way that makes you feel…alive. Not ashamed. Not guilty.  Creative.  Free.

    *Betsy sniffles*  The Dark Voice is just so loud sometimes.

    I know, honey. *Harry pats her cheek with a gentle paw*  He always has been.

    *Betsy knuckles away a tear*  What am I supposed to do?

    You have to know that YOU can’t. This last time, you thought you could, but that was a lie. I don’t care what anybody else tells you, I don’t care how many times they tell you “one won’t hurt”. I don’t care how many times they say “are you sure” or “just today” or “it won’t matter”. For YOU, it matters. For YOU there is no just “one”. There is no “just today” because if you’re triggered, then you won’t stop.

    *Betsy slams head back against sofa*  It’s so freaking unfair!

    Maybe. *Harry shrugs* But we all have restrictions. I’m a white gerbil, not a white stag. You can’t eat pastries and ice cream. We all have boundaries. We choose how well we live within them.

    *Betsy thinks*  Will the Muse come back if I try to be better?

    *Harry sighs*  The Muse will always be here singing, kid. The trick is whether or not you can hear her. Stuff up your ears with fats and fill your brain with sugar and she could be singing Wagner for all you’d know.  You won’t be able to hear her.  See it’s not enough to just know what your path is. You have to CHOOSE it. And choosing FOR something, means choosing AGAINST something else.

    Like ice cream?

    *Harry shrugs*  For you, yeah.  Like ice cream.

    *Betsy chews lip* I….I want to try. That’s all I can promise, okay? That I’ll try.

    *Harry nods*  None of us are perfect, doll. You’re not gonna be successful a hundred percent of the time. All you can do is try.  *He looks at her sternly*  And you HAVE to try.

    And when I fall into the mud?

    *Harry holds out a tiny paw*  I’ll be there.

    *Betsy takes his paw*  Okay.

     

    To be continued…

     

     

    Harry-3

     

     

    [tube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SnGU6Jtxc0[/tube]