Author: Betsy Horvath

  • A Betsy’s Blog Christmas Party


    “Christ-mas is coming! The goose is getting FAAATTTT–“

    Blogosphere?

    “Please to put a penny in the old man’s HAAAAATTTTTT–“

    Blogosphere!

    “If you have no penny, a ha’ penny will DOOOOOOOOOO….”

    Blogosphere! Shut up for a minute!

    What? Oh, hey. How’s it going?

    What are you doing up on that ladder?

    What does it look like I’m doing? I’m decoratin’

    You’re decoratin’, uh, I mean, you’re decorating? Again?

    Yeah. For the party.

    Party?

    Yeah. Party. Must you repeat everything I say?

    *crosses arms* No, but the other things I want to do to you can’t be done in a blog post.

    Huh. That sounds like a quote from your book.

    Never mind. *waves hand* When did we decide to have a party?

    WE didn’t. Your Muse and I decided when we were out to dinner last night.

    Out to….Blogosphere, are you DATING my MUSE?

    Hey! She’s a lot of fun when she’s not all tied down to you.

    But–

    Blogosphere? Honey are you here? *Muse enters the post* *sees Betsy* *stops* Oh. Hello.

    Hello, Muse. Something you forgot to tell me?

    Like what?

    Like that you were having a PARTY in my blog maybe?

    Oh, that. *Muse waves it away* It’s the Christmas season. The Blogosphere and I wanted to have a little fun. I thought you were talking about the other thing.

    You want to–what other thing?

    Never mind.

    Hey, babe, did you see the decorations? Whaddya think?

    *Muse looks around* Oh, Pookie! They’re just beautiful! You did such a good job!

    Pookie?

    What color ribbon is that anyway?

    Puce. I had it left over from the Release Day party.

    Ohhhhh. Pretty.

    Can we just talk here for a moment–

    Look who I found outside wandering around!

    I don’t– Coffee?  Coffee, is that you?

    Ah, Betsy. **Coffee takes Betsy’s hand and kisses the palm** It is so good to see you, ma cherie.  I had to be here.  You consume me.

    Oh, Coffee…you’re talking with such a sexy accent…

    I am ze French Roast.

    Of course.

    Let’s all sing!

    Okay.

    “If you have no ha’ penny, then God Bless You!
    God Bless You, Gentlemen, God Bless You!
    And if you have no ha’ penny, then God Bless You!”

    What the hell is a “ha’ penny” anyway?

    Oh, Blogosphere. Go look it up in yourself.

    *everyone laughs* *eggnog is spiked and poured* *Coffee brews*

    And the party continued long into the night. But it was okay. Coffee was there to wake Betsy up in the morning.  *wink, wink*

     

  • Twas The Week Before Christmas

    Twas The Week Before Christmas
    by Betsy Horvath

     
     

    Twas the week before Christmas
    And out at the mall,
    A tide of anxiety
    Threatens us all.

    The merchants are busy
    Hawking their wares,
    While parents pull out
    What’s left of their hairs.

    The sales clerks are frazzled
    And just slightly mad,
    But the stores, they are jumping
    For sales can be had!

    The music will deafen,
    And some of it sucks.
    Men shop for perfume
    And hope for good luck.

    Children scream loudly
    For this toy or that.
    Santa looks jaded
    In his red suit and hat.

    Gift cards have been purchased
    So the thought will be right.
    If only the amount wasn’t
    There in plain sight.

    There’s still cards to be written,
    And cookies to bake,
    And gifts to be wrapped up,
    And pictures to take.

    Why do we do this
    Year after year?
    Because of all of the
    Holiday cheer!

     

  • More Than A Hobby

    My mother is a wonderful artist. She paints in acryllics and oils and I think she is just brilliantly talented. Over the years she’s produced many, many beautiful things. She’s sold a lot of her work, but she’s never really broken out and made her painting more than a hobby. She’s never taken her art to the next level.

    There are a lot of reasons for that, the primary one being that she really didn’t WANT her painting to be more than a hobby. That’s absolutely fine with me. If she’s happy, I’m happy.

    But as I try to take my writing to the next step, I’m trying to figure out what really made the difference. What made my mother a comfortable hobbyist and not someone striving for more? If she wanted to take her painting to the next level, what changes in habits and attitudes would she need to have made?

    One big thing I’ve noticed is consistency. My mother never paints unless she feels like it. She can go weeks, months, or even years without lifting a paintbrush. She might produce other artistic-type things during those dry spells, but she’s not producing paintings. She’s not really practicing her art.

    And because she never paints unless she feels like painting, she’s never really learned how to produce regardless of her feelings or her life circumstances.

    I think that’s fine for a hobbyist. What’s the point of a hobby if you aren’t in the mood for it? But it seems to me that if you want to take your hobby to the next level then you need to do it whether you’re in the mood or not.

    In the same way that you go to work whether you feel like it or not, you need to practice your art – whatever that art may be – whether you feel like it or not. If you don’t go to work because you don’t feel like it, you eventually lose your job. If you don’t practice your art because you don’t feel like it, you eventually lose your art. And every time you lose it, every time you step out of the stream of consistent practice, it takes longer to get the juices flowing again.

    Believe me. I know.

    So, I’ve decided that I will touch my writing every day, whether I feel like it or not. I set a ridiculously low word-count goal for myself because the important thing at this point is not volume but consistency. I’ve been practicing this for the last two months. No matter how I feel, no matter what kind of day I’ve had, no matter what I’m worried about, I touch my writing.

    I’ve been finding that it’s working. Most days I write far more than my ridiculously low word count goal. Touching the WIP every day has kept it in the forefront of my mind and its kept the juices flowing. I highly recommend it.

    Besides, if you can be consistent over the holidays, I figure you’re golden. 😀

     

  • Just Some Thoughts On Barbie

    I used to love playing with my Barbies. My sister and I would crack their little legs and put them on my mother’s spinning wheel. We would spin the wheel and they’d go flying across the room….good times. Our Barbies and Kens would go camping and swimming and ride in their cars and even on a planes.

    When my little 6 1/2 year old niece began to show some interest in Barbie, I was excited. I looked forward to buying Barbie stuff for her.

    Then I actually tried to buy Barbie clothes.

    My choice of Barbie clothes at my local Target consisted of: ballgowns of various degrees of glitter, a set of very small, very shiny clubbing dresses, or a set with “play” clothes. This last was made up of short skirts, crop tops, high heels with leg warmers, and roller skates. That’s the set I got. At least it had roller skates.

    I admit that I didn’t comparison shop, so I can’t tell you what Barbie wardrobe choices are available at other “big box” stores.  I’m assuming that the selection I saw was fairly typical.  And it made me kind of angry, if you want to know the truth.

    The kid I was shopping for likes to go fishing with her father. She wants to ride a skateboard and play basketball. Where were Barbie’s sloppy jeans, for God’s sake? Where were t-shirts and sneakers? What does Barbie wear when she goes camping or swimming? Does she always wear Victoria’s Secret lingerie to bed? Can’t she wear a sleep shirt?

    I’m being serious here. Because what if you’re a girl who doesn’t especially want to wear sparkly little dresses and ballgowns? And then there’s this doll that’s presented as what a girl should be. And this doll mirrors what you see on television for the most part. Won’t you think that you don’t want to be a girl? Or that you’re the wrong kind of girl?

    And what if you are a girl who DOES like sparkly dresses – absolutely nothing wrong with a good sparkly dress. But if that’s the only thing you see Barbie do, then won’t you think that’s the only thing you can do? That it’s okay if you want to be a princess, but you’d better not want to be a physicist. And won’t you think there’s no way you can wear sparkly dresses AND be a physicist?

    I don’t want to offend the Barbie lovers out there.  Maybe I’m just oversensitive because I want my niece to have all of the possibilities life can offer.  But I was sad, because I really did love my Barbies.  I’m sorry she’s become so limited in the years since I was a kid.

  • Naming Babies

    When pregnancies crop up among my friends and co-workers I, as an author, feel that it is my obligation, nay, my duty, to help come up with names for the babies. As far as I know, none of my suggestions have ever been chosen by the parents, but I remain ever hopeful.

    It has occurred to me that it might be time to provide a similar service to readers of my blog, in case any of you are in need of a baby name. In addition, I thought that if I marketed my baby naming services, I might be able to turn it into a lucrative sideline. Good, eh?

    First, I wanted to throw out a couple of names I think are very special, but you’d have to have certain last names to really make them work. For one of my coworkers, with the last name of “Burton”, I suggested the name “Ernie”. Then when the kid is seven or eight or so the coach of his sports team can call out “Burton, Ernie!” Get it? Bert and Ernie! HAHAHAHA! (I have to admit – I had help thinking up that one).

    As good as that name is, she walked away from it TWICE! No respect.

    Also, I once knew a guy who’s last name was Burgur. I suggested that he name his son “Hamilton”. Get it? Ham Burgur. HAHAHAHA!

    Yes, it’s just that kind of quality I’m ready to offer you today.

    Okay, so here are a few suggestions. The babies I am trying to name at the moment are all due in the spring, so these names are geared for that season. Also, just as a side note, you’ll see that these are mostly names for girls. But don’t let that box you in. It is my opinion that any young boy would be proud to carry one of these names around with him like a burden he can’t get rid of.

    As I said, these are spring names. First, we have seasonal:

    Cherry Blossom
    April Showers
    Daffodil
    Tulip
    Forsythia (for something a little more formal)

    Next, we have Easter holiday specials:

    Cadbury
    Bunny
    Jelly Bean (you could call him/her “Beanie”)
    Hershey Kiss
    Peep (but not “Stale Peep”)
    Chick
    Egg (which came first? hahahahaha)

    Then, here are some miscellaneous suggestions:

    Titania (just be careful how you shorten it)
    Pippa (you can buy her an ugly hat)
    Cobweb
    Peasblossom (Shakespearean)

    Oh, there are so many possibilities.

    I hope that I have stimulated your own creative musings. Come on, don’t be afraid to help your friends, relatives and coworkers out. They appreciate it – really they do.

    And don’t worry about the kids. They’ll be fine.

    Eventually.

     

  • Does It Need To Be Fun?

    The original title of this post was “It Should Be Fun”. I was planning on talking about how writing needs to be enjoyable. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t quite what I believe.

    It’s not that writing shouldn’t be fun. It’s that “fun” is too weak a word for what writing is. And writing is not always “fun” in the “it’s party time” sense. I don’t think it should be.

    Writing should be a passion. The passion for telling a story is what drives you back to your computer or notepad day after day, even when you’ve hit a roadblock. Even when you just want to play video games.  The passion makes you despair at what you’ve written, and makes you strive to be better.  The passion is what hooks you and keeps you at it until you are pummeled into submission.

    Writing should be intense. I don’t care what you’re writing, whether it be a children’s book, a romantic comedy, a thriller, or the next War and Peace, writing is an intense experience. Something about the act of creating a story will bring forward emotions and thoughts you might not wish to face. You are the god or goddess of your writing universe and that, my friends, is an intense and often wrenching experience.

    Writing should be important. Writing should be taken seriously. What you write might not be serious, but the act of creation is serious. This is a gift that you are giving to yourself and to the other people who will read what you’ve written. It should have importance in your life because it is miraculous. If done correctly, other people will see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel. Being a writer, creation of any kind, is an awesome privilege.

    Writing should be gratifying. There is such gratification in watching something you’ve created come to life in your hands. There’s nothing like coming up on a roadblock in your story and finding your way around it. There’s absolutely nothing like looking back at your story and thinking “I wrote that. That world did not exist, but now it does. That story was not told, but now it is.”  When you write, you take things you’ve observed and heard and internalize them, then mold them into something else like a kid in a mud puddle.

    And, finally….

    Writing should be fun.