Category: Harry

Responsibility

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

Mavis, the ambassador from the International Muse Council, has come in search of Harry, Betsy’s Quest Guide, because he has not been answering Council summons. She finds him in the gutter of Betsy’s brain, swilling orange juice (an intoxicant for the gerbil family, of which Harry is a member), and basically falling into the dark well of Betsy’s mental depravity. Further investigation uncovers the incident Betsy recently experienced with Obsessia and the Dark Voice, and Mavis determines that Harry is blaming himself for pushing Betsy over the edge.

But this cannot be! Betsy needs her Guide! Without Harry, she could easily fall into her dark well of mental depravity herself, and then who will pull her out?

Mavis and Betsy have called Harry to come meet with them, and Harry has just arrived. Let’s see if we can get down to the bottom of his behavior. Is Harry feeling responsible and blaming himself?

Hey! Whas *hic* up? *Harry weaves on his feet*

Harold. *Mavis frowns at him* We need to talk. Please have a seat. And you won’t need that. *bottle of orange juice disappears*

Hey! *Harry blinks, looks around brain, collapses on the floor* Old biddie.

Harry. *Betsy leans forward* Whatever’s wrong isn’t worth sleeping in the gutter of my brain and drinking…orange juice.

*Harry blinks up at her* Beshy? That you, Beshy?

Yes, it’s me. What’s going on, Harry? Talk to me.

My fault. All my fault. *Harry scrubs paws over his face* I told you *hic* stuff to think about and it…pushed you over!

No. *Betsy shakes her head* *reaches towards Harry* You gave me a list of important things I needed to consider, and you were right. I do need to consider all of those things. It’s my fault that my brain started racing and Obsessia started whispering and the Dark Voice started talking…

No, I overloaded you–

No, I–

Enough!

*Betsy and Harry both jump* *Both turn to stare*

Mavis? I’d forgotten you were there. *Betsy smiles sheepishly*

*Mavis smooths skirt over knee* You are both being ridiculous. The situation in which Betsy found herself was unfortunate, but it was also valuable.

Valuable? *Harry’s fur bristles* I was supposed to lead her to success and instead I led her right into the arms of Obsessia and the Dark Voice! She lost days of her life because of where I led her! What kind of a Guide does that make me?

*Mavis smiles at him and her stern features soften* A caring one. *She raises a long, thin finger when Harry starts to protest* The situation Betsy ended up in was unfortunate, but your Guidance was given freely and was good advice.

But– *Harry raises a paw*

*Mavis ignores him* It was not meant to harm, but to uplift. You can only be responsible for your words and the intent of your words. However, sometimes even words uttered with the best of intentions have unfortunate consequences you cannot foresee and for which you do not bear responsibility.

But– *Harry waves paw*

After all, my dear. *Mavis smiles* we cannot control the actions of another. All we can do is our best under the circumstances.

*Betsy’s eyes drop* *blushes* It was all my fault anyway.

*Mavis sighs* Dear, you must let go of guilt. What’s happened, happened.

But I should have–

Betsy. *Mavis looks severe* You must not dwell on could or should. They don’t exist. What exists is, well, what exists. What’s there. The state you’re at.

Wow. *Betsy blinks* Deep.

*Mavis draws in breath through her nose and lets it out again slowly* I mean, you must start where you are at. You cannot start from where you might have been.

*Betsy blinks* Huh?

Oh, for heavens… *Mavis casts eyes skyward* *draws in deep breath* *pins Harry with steely stare* *points at him with thin finger* You.

*Harry straightens* Ma’am.

Get over yourself, get off the juice and get Guiding the best you can.

*Harry snaps a salute* Yes, ma’am.

*Mavis nods* *Points finger at Betsy* You.

*Betsy blinks* Ma’am?

Make with the writing and pick up the pace. I’m not immortal, you know.

No, I didn’t–

And neither are you. *Mavis frowns* Get the freaking book done before you have to finish it in a nursing home.

*Betsy salutes clumsily* Yes, ma’am.

Good. *Mavis nods* And don’t make me come here again.

*Betsy and Harry both cower*

No, ma’am.

*Mavis vanishes* *Betsy is dumped to floor of brain when the armchair she is sitting on vanishes as well* *Betsy and Harry stare at each other*

Wow. *Betsy blinks*

*Harry puts paw to head* I need coffee.

Ah, mah friend, but I am here!

*Betsy looks to corner of brain* Coffee? Is that you?

Naturally! *Coffee walks into brain* An’ today I am ze dark French Roast!

Awesome! *Harry staggers to Coffee* *Sips* *Turns to grin at Betsy* So, ready to get back at it?

*Betsy smiles back at Harry* *Gives a fist pump* Abso-freaking-lutely!

*Coffee beams* Wit ze caffeine!

But of course!

To be continued….

July 6, 2014
Where’s Harry?

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

Although Betsy and the Muse have been hanging out regularly, Betsy hasn’t seen Harry, her Quest Guide, for a couple of days. In fact, she hasn’t seen him since he and the Muse came to her aid when she battled Obsessia and The Dark Voice. But Betsy’s been so busy, she didn’t notice Harry was missing until she received a summons from a familiar disembodied voice – Mavis, ambassador for the International Muse Council.

What is Mavis, ambassador for the International Muse Council, doing here anyway? And where the heck is Harry? Let’s see…

Hello? *Betsy enters brain and looks around* Mavis?

Betsy. So pleasant to see you, dear. *Mavis suddenly appears in brain sitting in a large leather overstuffed armchair*

Oh, I’m so glad to see you too! *Betsy moves forward into the circle of light surrounding Mavis* How have you been?

Quite well, thank you *Mavis crosses legs, showing her thick stockings and orthapaedic shoes* Have a seat.

Have a– Oh. *Betsy turns and sees another larger leather armchair* *Sits* *Leans forward nervously* What’s going on?

I am concerned about Harold.

Harold? Oh, Harry! *Betsy frowns* Why? What’s wrong?

He has been ignoring requests from the Muse Council for an update on your progress. I was sent to check on things.

Is he okay? *Betsy wrings hands* Does he need me? I’ll go to him.

*Mavis steeples fingers* I found him lying in the gutter in a corner of your brain, swilling orange juice. As you know, Harold is a gerbil. However, you may not know that members of the gerbil population find orange juice to be quite intoxicating.

Orange juice? *Betsy stares* Really?

*Mavis shrugs* It’s the sugar. Puts them right down on their, uh, tails.

Oh, no! *Betsy clasps hands to cheeks* That’s terrible! *She thinks* Wait, I have a gutter in my brain?

*Mavis stares at her without comment*

Oh. *Betsy looks away* Right.

*Mavis straightens her skirt* Apparently I must stage an intervention before he flushes himself down the toilet, so to speak. I need background information. What has been happening?

*Betsy gapes at her* Don’t you read my blog?

*Mavis raises eyebrows* Does anyone?

Good point. *Betsy reaches into gray matter* *Pulls out laptop* *Logs into website* Okay, here’s the page detailing my Quest. I guess you should probably read the last two or three posts.

Hmmm. *Mavis reads at the speed of thought* Okay. Yes, okay. I see. All right. *sets laptop aside*

*Betsy watches her anxiously* What?

I believe Harold might be blaming himself for your recent melt-down and the weight of guilt has thrown him into the well of your mind’s depravity.

But he shouldn’t… *Betsy blinks* My mind has a well of depravity?

*Mavis merely looks at Betsy over her glasses*

Oh. *Betsy clears her throat* Right.

*Mavis pats hair* Unfortunately, this is a situation many of our Guides face. The traveler stumbles and falls, or becomes derailed, and the Guide feels guilty and responsible.

But he wasn’t responsible! *Betsy looks at Mavis earnestly* It was all my fault.

Oh, I know that, dear. *Mavis reaches out and pats Betsy’s hand* He gave you Guidance with the best of intentions, but it triggered…unfortunate side effects. This happens sometimes and it is difficult for the Guide to realize he or she cannot bear responsibility for the way the traveler chooses to react to their Guidance.

He couldn’t know… *Betsy looks away* *Bites lip*

Well, perhaps he could have been wiser in his choice of words, and he did try to talk to you about too many things at once, but he’ll learn how best to work with you in time. *Mavis purses her lips* If he burdens himself with responsibility for this incident, he will never be an effective Guide for you and we will be forced to replace him.

No! *Betsy reaches out a hand* I don’t want to lose Harry! He’s my friend!

*Mavis nods* I am quite pleased you feel that way. Shall we speak to Harold and see if we can work through these difficulties?

Yes. *Betsy nods* *Straightens in her chair* Let’s get him.

Wonderful *Mavis smiles thinly* And here he is.

*Harry staggers into the light, a small carafe of orange juice clutched in his tiny paw*

To be continued…

July 2, 2014
Freedom

Previously on Betsy’s Blog….

Harry, Betsy’s albino gerbil Quest Guide, has sent Betsy away to think about her writing. They need to identify the true nature of her quest before they set out. Otherwise how will they know when they get there? Now, after a short break for Easter, they’ve gotten together again and are sitting together on the Ikea sofa in Betsy’s brain to see if they can decide what they’re doing.

*Harry spits out a sunflower seed and perches on the arm of the sofa, wrapping his tail around his body* So, did you do some thinking about the writing and your quest and all that crap?

Yes. *Betsy looks demure* I’ve decided that this is my quest; to follow that star. No matter how hopeless. No matter how far.

Oh, jeeze! Am I going to have to suffer through Man of LaMancha jokes for the next friggin’ ever?

*Betsy smiles* Yes.

Great. ANYWAY, what did you decide?

Well, I’m not sure as far as the quest goes. I just know that I want to write on my own terms. I want to tell stories and I don’t want to be fake while I’m doing it.

Yeah, I GOT that. Sheesh. But do you want to write them and put the under a bushel? Whatever the heck a bushel is? Do you want to flush them down the toilet? Post them on trees?

I’d like them to be out there so other people I don’t know can read them.

Christ I’m going to need a drink after this is over. Okay. You want them to be published. And make money?

Well, I definitely want to publish. But the writing has to be the most important thing, or I’m not going to keep doing it.

I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

After HOLD ME was picked up by the publisher, all of a sudden I seemed to be focusing on selling instead of writing and I didn’t have a freaking clue what I was doing. “Everyone” was telling me that I had to do this to be successful, or do that, and if I didn’t do those things perfectly nobody would ever find my book and read it and I would be a big, huge, fat failure and die alone in the gutter. So instead of writing, I was spent all of my time on my website or social media or author groups where there’s a lot of comparison-itis and the whole time I felt inadequate and like an imposter and like I was back in high school and sitting alone at the cafeteria table because I wasn’t one of the popular girls and I HATED it. I spent months and months feeling like I was second or third or fortieth best, and it just got worse after my second book was rejected.

Yeah, I know what you mean. When I was in school there was this mouse…long story.

And then I had trouble getting back into writing again because I didn’t want to do all of that again because what the heck’s the point? I mean, I have a day job if I want to feel inadequate. I love writing, but the only way I could get enthusiastic about it again was to say the heck with everyone. I’m just going to do this writing thing my way and play and who cares what “everyone” says you should do or how much money you make? I’ve never fit in a mold my entire life, so it’s certainly not going to work now. I’m going to be an author my own way and the heck with everything. I’m not expecting to make money or have “visibility”, so if I don’t get them it’s not a big deal.

Okay, listen. I’ve got all of that. But what do you WANT out of this thing? Because if you don’t want something specific, you’re not going to work for it. Am I right?

Well–

Am. I. Right?

You’re right. *sigh* Okay, here’s what I really want. I want to write a book and publish it and write a book and publish it and so on. This is a business and I want to treat it like my business, but I also want to have fun while I’m doing it. I want to be in control and do it my own way.

Okay. *Harry settles back on his haunches* Then I think I can help you identify your quest.

You can?

You want to be an indie author. You want to self-publish.

I do?

Jesus, I’d better earn my rabbit ears for this one. Yes! Yes, you do!

Huh. *Betsy settles back* *contemplates* Indie author. Huh. I’d have to learn a lot. I’ve heard there’s a big learning curve for indie publishing.

Who cares?

Yeah. Who cares? I like to learn. *looks at Harry* Oh, my God. I’m going to indie publish. I’m going to be a self publisher. I’m going to take control of my career and my destiny and steer my ship wherever the hell I want to go. Aren’t I?

Aren’t WE.

Yeah. *Betsy beams* We.

Do you feel that breeze blowing through your brain?

Yes. What is it?

It’s the breeze of freedom. You’re your own writer, babe. And you can do whatever you damn well want.

Okay. *sob* Okay.

April 23, 2014
The Quest Begins

Our story thus far….

Mavis, Betsy’s inner Mary-Poppins-like career consultant sent by the International Muse Council, has determined that Betsy will be too much work. However, before she flies off into the sunset, she provides Betsy with another Guide – a white gerbil named Harry. Yes, whereas in mythology most seekers setting out on life-altering quests are led by a white stag or a white rabbit, Betsy got an albino gerbil.

Harry has been settling into Betsy’s brain for three days now, and he’s just called a meeting. Let the quest begin!

*Betsy enters her brain* Harry? Where are you?

*Harry scampers in from behind the frontal lobe* Hey, doll. Glad you could make it.

*Betsy gestures* What is all this?

All what?

All the new furniture. That sofa wasn’t here before. Is that a flat-screen TV? And a huge gerbil habitat with towers? What the hell?

Hey, I might as well be comfortable, right?

How did you even buy it all? And get it in here? Most importantly, how did you pay for it?

Obsessia helped me. *Harry runs up a tower and emerges to stand on a platform at the top.*

Obsessia? Who the heck is Obsessia?

I don’t know, she lives in here somewhere. *waves paw vaguely* Nice broad, but seems a little intense, if you ask me.

Oh. You must mean the Muse. But her name isn’t Obsessia.

Nah, your Muse is pissed at me so we haven’t really spoken. Anyway, forget all that. Just park it on the sofa, why doncha. Take a load off and we’ll talk, huh?

*Betsy perches on sofa, a little weirded out by the fact her brain appears to be occupied by strangers* I’m going to have to find out who this “Obsessia” is. She’s living in my brain, after all.

Yeah, whatever. *Harry pulls a tiny tablet computer from a hidden pouch*

*Betsy stares, distracted* Is that…do you have an iPad?

It’s a knock off special for Quest Guides. Called the “Q-Pad”. It’s got a ton of custom apps and is designed for those of us without opposable thumbs, if you know what I mean. *Harry taps a few things on the tablet with one tiny paw* *Looks up at Betsy* Okay, so let’s nail down this whole quest thing.

*Betsy settles back on the sofa, ready to change the subject* I’m anxious to get started.

*Harry taps some more* Okay. What kind of quest are you starting out on?

*Betsy stares at him* Don’t you know?

I know that you want to be an author, but what’s the QUEST?

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Oh, come on! *Harry looks exasperated* What do you want out of this gig? Fame? Fortune? Yeah, everybody wants fortune, right?

Well, I want to tell stories. I like telling stories.

Uh huh. *Harry taps* And…?

I want to enjoy myself.

*Harry waits, then glares up at Betsy when she doesn’t say anything else* Is that it?

*Betsy shrugs* Pretty much.

*Harry tosses the computer tablet aside and rises to stand on his hind legs* *Frowns as only a gerbil can* What kind of a quest is that?

Sorry.

Okay, okay. *Harry drops to all fours again and begins to pace back and forth on top of the tower* I’m here to Guide you and I’m going to freaking Guide you.

That would be nice.

But it’s freaking hard to Guide someone who doesn’t even know what their freaking quest is.

I just told you what it was.

*Harry snorts* Please. That’s not a quest. That’s some kind of a half-assed wishy-washy dream.

*Betsy straightens* Hey, buddy, that’s MY wishy-washy dream.

WhatEVER. *Harry flips it away with one paw* The point is, you can’t go on a quest if you don’t have a goal. How the heck will you know if you ever get there?

*Betsy considers* I guess you’ve got a point.

Of course I’ve got a freaking point. I’m a freaking Guide, aren’t I?

Um, yes?

Damn right I am. *Harry paces some more then seems to come to a decision* *Turns and faces Betsy* Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to break for a couple of days. You’re going to go off and think about what you want out of this whole writing deal.

I just TOLD you! *Betsy leaps to her feet* And I’ve told Mavis. And the Blogosphere. I want to have fun!

Well of course you freaking want to have fun. You think people write because they want to have a root canal?

*Betsy calms a little bit* I guess not.

Course not. *Harry stands upright again and scowls at Betsy* So you go away and think about what you want. I’ll think about the different paths. Then we’ll get together and start talking about some of this crap to try to work it out. Got it?

*Betsy scratches her head* Yes?

Good. *Harry folds his little arms and nods* Oh, and I signed up for cable. You’ll get the bill next month.

Now wait a minute–

You don’t want me getting bored, do you? Just think about the racket I can make if I run on my wheel at one o’clock in the morning.

Good point. *Betsy considers* Okay, cable is fine, but no pay per view.

Yeah, yeah. *Harry settles down on his haunches *brings up Candy Crush on his Q-Pad.* You’d better get going. You’ve got a lot of thinking to do. Just don’t do it too loudly. I need my freaking beauty sleep.

*Betsy turns to go* I can’t believe I’m being intimated by my gerbil Quest Guide.

And bring me some more lettuce! *Harry calls after her*

*Betsy sighs* Sure.

*Betsy leaves the post*

To be continued….

April 14, 2014
Mavis Returns

As we resume our story, we find Betsy wandering aimlessly through her brain, wondering if Mavis, the elderly Mary-Poppins-like career consultant who visited her on Wednesday as a voice in her head sent by the International Muse Council (see this post for details), will return as promised….

*singing* OOOOO Super-california-licious-blah-blah-ala-docious! Super–

Hello, dear.

Mavis, you came back! *Betsy runs to watch Mavis float into her brain and land nearby* I thought you might have forgotten me.

Nonsense. *Mavis puts down a large carpet bag* *adjusts the lapels of her sensible tweed suit* I put you in my Blackberry. *opens large carpet bag* *removes desk, desk chair, and visitor’s chair and arranges them in brain* *Mavis settles into the desk chair behind the desk and gestures* Please have a seat.

*Betsy obeys, perching on the visitor’s chair, hands clasped between her knees* Will you be staying with me longer this time? Because that would be great. I have some–

No. *Mavis folds her hands on the desk* After I spoke to you on Wednesday, it became apparent you would require close and constant supervision. With all of my other clients, I simply don’t have that kind of time in my schedule. Frankly, dear, you’re a hands-on case.

Oh. * Betsy slumps back in the chair* Okay.

*Mavis smiles kindly* Don’t worry, dear. The International Muse Council has some concerns about what you will do if you are left to your own devices. If you want to know the truth, they’re concerned about your mental stability.

Thank…huh?

After I discussed your situation with them, they decided to assign one of their up-and-coming Quest Guides to your case. *Mavis reaches into her carpet bag and pulls out a large cage* I’d like you to meet Harry.

Oh my God! That’s a white mouse.

Hey! *Harry glares* *Opens the cage door and struts onto the desk* *Stands upright with tiny paws on his hips* I’m a freaking gerbil here. Show some freaking respect already.

*Betsy turns to Mavis* Are you KIDDING me?

Harry is an extremely experienced Quest Guide. *Mavis’s gaze slides to the left*

So let me get this straight. In mythology when people start out on a life-altering quest, they’re led by a white stag, or perhaps a white rabbit. But I get an albino GERBIL?

*Harry swaggers towards Betsy* What? You gotta problem with that? You prejudiced against gerbils or somethin’?

*Mavis looks pained* You need a Guide. Harry is a Guide. And if he can guide a hopeless case like you down a productive path towards her goals, he’ll get a promotion.

Yeah. *Harry folds arms and looks satisfied* I might finally make freaking rabbit status. Or at least hamster.

Oh, that’s just great! *Betsy throws up hands in disgust* *gets up and paces away* I have a junior achiever gerbil Quest Guide.

Hush up both of you and listen to me. *Mavis glares*

*Betsy stops pacing and looks down* Sorry ma’am.

*Harry sits on his haunches* Sorry ma’am

*Mavis nods* Much better. Now, Betsy, Harry’s personal goals mean he will be as motivated as you to ensure the quest succeeds. *Mavis glares* And since you’ve been fooling around for years, you really don’t have much room to complain. Not every aspiring creative gets a Guide of any sort.

I know. *Betsy kicks at the desk* *shrugs jerkily* I just kind of hoped if I had a Guide for my quest it would be a white stag, you know?

Look, I can guide you. *Harry hops over to Betsy and peers up at her* I can guide the crap out of you. Nora Roberts always said I had a knack.

I don’t think…You know Nora Roberts?

I guided her to the ladies room at a conference once. It was a moment.

Oh. Well, my Muse–

Your Muse is a good kid, but she’s all artsy-fartsy. She ain’t gonna be there when you’re trying to find your way through the forest of publishing or whatever, is she? She’ll be off eating donuts or finger painting or something. You wanna figure out what the hell you’re doing all by yourself like you have been? How’s that been working for you?

Well–

Look, I’m a stag trapped in a gerbil’s body okay? Just give me a chance to prove it.

This entire conversation is a waste of time. Harry is staying. *Mavis stands* *Puts Harry and his cage on the floor of the brain* *Packs desk, desk chair, and visitor’s chair into carpet bag and closes it with a snap* I must go now, but I’ll check back later for a status update. And I EXPECT improvement.

*Mavis picks up bag, opens umbrella, clicks heels, and floats out of post*

Great *Harry rubs his little paws together* *Looks around brain* Where can we put my wheel? And my cage needs some fresh straw by the way.

Terrific. *Betsy sighs* *picks up Harry’s cage* Come on.

And can I get a salad or somethin’? This Guiding crap makes me hungry.

*Betsy sighs again* Sure.

*Betsy and Harry leave the post*

To be continued…..

April 13, 2014