Betsy Horvath

Category: Mavis

  • Responsibility

     HarryPreviously on Betsy’s Blog…

    Mavis, the ambassador from the International Muse Council, has come in search of Harry, Betsy’s Quest Guide, because he has not been answering Council summons.  She finds him in the gutter of Betsy’s brain, swilling orange juice (an intoxicant for the gerbil family, of which Harry is a member), and basically falling into the dark well of Betsy’s mental depravity.  Further investigation uncovers the incident Betsy recently experienced with Obsessia and the Dark Voice, and Mavis determines that Harry is blaming himself for pushing Betsy over the edge.

    But this cannot be!  Betsy needs her Guide!  Without Harry, she could easily fall into her dark well of mental depravity herself, and then who will pull her out?

    Mavis and Betsy have called Harry to come meet with them, and Harry has just arrived.  Let’s see if we can get down to the bottom of his behavior.  Is Harry feeling responsible and blaming himself?  

     

    Hey! Whas *hic* up?  *Harry weaves on his feet*

    Harold.  *Mavis frowns at him*  We need to talk.  Please have a seat.  And you won’t need that.  *bottle of orange juice disappears*

    Hey!  *Harry blinks, looks around brain, collapses on the floor*  Old biddie.

    Harry.  *Betsy leans forward*  Whatever’s wrong isn’t worth sleeping in the gutter of my brain and drinking…orange juice.

    *Harry blinks up at her*  Beshy?  That you, Beshy?

    Yes, it’s me.  What’s going on, Harry?  Talk to me.

    My fault.  All my fault.  *Harry scrubs paws over his face*  I told you *hic* stuff to think about and it…pushed you over!

    No.  *Betsy shakes her head* *reaches towards Harry*  You gave me a list of important things I needed to consider, and you were right.  I do need to consider all of those things.  It’s my fault that my brain started racing and Obsessia started whispering and the Dark Voice started talking…

    No, I overloaded you–

    No, I–

    Enough!

    *Betsy and Harry both jump*  *Both turn to stare*

    Mavis?  I’d forgotten you were there.  *Betsy smiles sheepishly*

    *Mavis smooths skirt over knee*  You are both being ridiculous.  The situation in which Betsy found herself was unfortunate, but it was also valuable.

    Valuable?  *Harry’s fur bristles*  I was supposed to lead her to success and instead I led her right into the arms of Obsessia and the Dark Voice!  She lost days of her life because of where I led her!  What kind of a Guide does that make me?

    *Mavis smiles at him and her stern features soften*  A caring one.  *She raises a long, thin finger when Harry starts to protest*  The situation Betsy ended up in was unfortunate, but your Guidance was given freely and was good advice.

    But–  *Harry raises a paw*

    *Mavis ignores him*  It was not meant to harm, but to uplift.  You can only be responsible for your words and the intent of your words.  However, sometimes even words uttered with the best of intentions have unfortunate consequences you cannot foresee and for which you do not bear responsibility.

    But–  *Harry waves paw*

    After all, my dear.  *Mavis smiles* we cannot control the actions of another.  All we can do is our best under the circumstances.

    *Betsy’s eyes drop*  *blushes*  It was all my fault anyway.

    *Mavis sighs*  Dear, you must let go of guilt.  What’s happened, happened.

    But I should have–

    Betsy.  *Mavis looks severe*  You must not dwell on could or should.  They don’t exist.  What exists is, well, what exists.  What’s there.  The state you’re at.

    Wow.  *Betsy blinks*  Deep.

    *Mavis draws in breath through her nose and lets it out again slowly*  I mean, you must start where you are at.  You cannot start from where you might have been.

    *Betsy blinks*  Huh?

    Oh, for heavens… *Mavis casts eyes skyward*  *draws in deep breath*  *pins Harry with steely stare* *points at him with thin finger*  You.

    *Harry straightens*  Ma’am.

    Get over yourself, get off the juice and get Guiding the best you can.

    *Harry snaps a salute*  Yes, ma’am.

    *Mavis nods*  *Points finger at Betsy*  You.

    *Betsy blinks*  Ma’am?

    Make with the writing and pick up the pace.  I’m not immortal, you know.

    No, I didn’t–

    And neither are you.  *Mavis frowns*  Get the freaking book done before you have to finish it in a nursing home.

    *Betsy salutes clumsily*  Yes, ma’am.

    Good.  *Mavis nods*  And don’t make me come here again.

    *Betsy and Harry both cower*

    No, ma’am.

    *Mavis vanishes*  *Betsy is dumped to floor of brain when the armchair she is sitting on vanishes as well*  *Betsy and Harry stare at each other*

    Wow.  *Betsy blinks*

    *Harry puts paw to head*  I need coffee.

    Ah, mah friend, but I am here!

    *Betsy looks to corner of brain*  Coffee?  Is that you?

    Naturally!  *Coffee walks into brain*  An’ today I am ze dark French Roast!

    Awesome!  *Harry staggers to Coffee*  *Sips*  *Turns to grin at Betsy*  So, ready to get back at it?

    *Betsy smiles back at Harry*  *Gives a fist pump*  Abso-freaking-lutely!

    *Coffee beams*  Wit ze caffeine!

    But of course!

    To be continued….

    juice

  • Mavis Returns

    carpet bagAs we resume our story, we find Betsy wandering aimlessly through her brain, wondering if Mavis, the elderly Mary-Poppins-like career consultant who visited her on Wednesday as a voice in her head sent by the International Muse Council (see this post for details), will return as promised….

    *singing* OOOOO Super-california-licious-blah-blah-ala-docious! Super–

    Hello, dear.

    Mavis, you came back!  *Betsy runs to watch Mavis float into her brain and land nearby* I thought you might have forgotten me.

    Nonsense.  *Mavis puts down a large carpet bag* *adjusts the lapels of her sensible tweed suit*  I put you in my Blackberry.  *opens large carpet bag* *removes desk, desk chair, and visitor’s chair and arranges them in brain*  *Mavis settles into the desk chair behind the desk and gestures*  Please have a seat.

    *Betsy obeys, perching on the visitor’s chair, hands clasped between her knees* Will you be staying with me longer this time?  Because that would be great.  I have some–

    No.  *Mavis folds her hands on the desk*  After I spoke to you on Wednesday, it became apparent you would require close and constant supervision.  With all of my other clients, I simply don’t have that kind of time in my schedule.  Frankly, dear, you’re a hands-on case.

    Oh.  * Betsy slumps back in the chair* Okay.

    *Mavis smiles kindly* Don’t worry, dear.  The International Muse Council has some concerns about what you will do if you are left to your own devices.  If you want to know the truth, they’re concerned about your mental stability.

    Thank…huh?

    After I discussed your situation with them, they decided to assign one of their up-and-coming Quest Guides to your case.  *Mavis reaches into her carpet bag and pulls out a large cage* I’d like you to meet Harry.

    Oh my God!  That’s a white mouse.

    Hey!  *Harry glares*  *Opens the cage door and struts onto the desk*  *Stands upright with tiny paws on his hips*  I’m a freaking gerbil here.  Show some freaking respect already.

    *Betsy turns to Mavis*  Are you KIDDING me?

    Harry is an extremely experienced Quest Guide.  *Mavis’s gaze slides to the left*

    So let me get this straight.  In mythology when people start out on a life-altering quest, they’re led by a white stag, or perhaps a white rabbit.  But I get an albino GERBIL?

    *Harry swaggers towards Betsy*  What?  You gotta problem with that?  You prejudiced against gerbils or somethin’?

    *Mavis looks pained*   You need a Guide.  Harry is a Guide.  And if he can guide a hopeless case like you down a productive path towards her goals, he’ll get a promotion.

    Yeah. *Harry folds arms and looks satisfied*  I might finally make freaking rabbit status.  Or at least hamster.

    Oh, that’s just great!  *Betsy throws up hands in disgust*  *gets up and paces away*  I have a junior achiever gerbil Quest Guide.

    Hush up both of you and listen to me.  *Mavis glares*

    *Betsy stops pacing and looks down*  Sorry ma’am.

    *Harry sits on his haunches*  Sorry ma’am

    *Mavis nods*  Much better.  Now, Betsy, Harry’s personal goals mean he will be as motivated as you to ensure the quest succeeds. *Mavis glares*  And since you’ve been fooling around for years, you really don’t have much room to complain.  Not every aspiring creative gets a Guide of any sort.

    I know.  *Betsy kicks at the desk* *shrugs jerkily*  I just kind of hoped if I had a Guide for my quest it would be a white stag, you know?

    Look, I can guide you.  *Harry hops over to Betsy and peers up at her*  I can guide the crap out of you.  Nora Roberts always said I had a knack.

    I don’t think…You know Nora Roberts?

    I guided her to the ladies room at a conference once.  It was a moment.

    Oh.  Well, my Muse–

    Your Muse is a good kid, but she’s all artsy-fartsy.  She ain’t gonna be there when you’re trying to find your way through the forest of publishing or whatever, is she?  She’ll be off eating donuts or finger painting or something.  You wanna figure out what the hell you’re doing all by yourself like you have been?  How’s that been working for you?

    Well–

    Look, I’m a stag trapped in a gerbil’s body okay?  Just give me a chance to prove it.

    This entire conversation is a waste of time.  Harry is staying.  *Mavis stands*  *Puts Harry and his cage on the floor of the brain*  *Packs desk, desk chair, and visitor’s chair into carpet bag and closes it with a snap*  I must go now, but I’ll check back later for a status update.  And I EXPECT improvement.

    *Mavis picks up bag, opens umbrella, clicks heels, and floats out of post*

    Great *Harry rubs his little paws together*  *Looks around brain*  Where can we put my wheel?  And my cage needs some fresh straw by the way.

    Terrific. *Betsy sighs* *picks up Harry’s cage*  Come on.

    And can I get a salad or somethin’?  This Guiding crap makes me hungry.

    *Betsy sighs again*  Sure.

    *Betsy and Harry leave the post*

     

    To be continued…..

    harry

     

  • Mavis

    mavisHello, dear.

    I…hello?  Who are you?

    I’m Mavis, dear.

    No…I mean…it’s nice to meet you, but who ARE you?  And why are you talking to me?

    I’m a consultant, dear.

    I have a consultant who’s a voice in my head.

    Yes, dear.

    Wow.  I’m more screwed up than I thought I was.  I mean, can multiple personality disorder be far behind?

    No.

    And not only do I have a consultant voice in my head, I have a consultant voice in my head who sounds like an elderly librarian from the Midwest.

    Shush.  Shush now.  Let me speak.

    Yes ma’am.  Sorry, ma’am.

    Very well.  First, I am not technically a voice IN your head as I am just visiting.

    Um, okay.

    I am here to help you get your thoughts in order.  Work out this whole writing thing.  Plot your trajectory, if you will.

    Wait – you’re a CAREER consultant?

    Yes, dear.

    Huh.  Well, that explains a lot about my career.  Okay, so, what, you just decided to show up?

    Not exactly.  Apparently you were overheard discussing some initiatives with the Blogosphere last Sunday and it was reported to the International Muse Council.

    What?  The International–

    The International Muse Council.  Since your performance thus far has been a trifle…substandard, the IMC is concerned you will make the writing profession appear foolish.  They feel you need some additional…assistance.

    But my Muse–

    Oh, piffle.  That young thing is too flighty by half.  Besides, she represents the creative side of things.  My role is to help with planning.

    Planning?

    Yes, dear.  Planning.  I know you are rather unfamiliar with the concept, but if you want to go on we really must get a few things nailed down first.  Now, please take a seat.

    Take a…Wait!  Where did the desk and chairs come from?  They weren’t here before.

    Creative visualization.

    And is that a Mac book Air? Where’s mine?  Do I get one too?

    Only so much will fit in your brain, dear.  Now.  *Mavis sits behind desk in big leather chair*  *pulls papers from a massive briefcase and stacks them on desk* *boots up computer*  Let’s get started.

    Hey!  I can see you!

    See?  *Mavis smiles* You’re getting the hang of this whole creativity thing after all.  Baby steps, dear.   Baby steps.  But we really must get down to work. *shuffles papers*  First, we must discuss your blog.

    Okay.  *Betsy perches tentatively on the edge of the chair on the other side of the desk*  I want to write the blog more regularly.

    Uh hmmm.  Excellent.  And I understand you want writing the blog to be — *Mavis looks over her reading glasses* — fun.

    Yes.  *Betsy leans forward eagerly*  I want it to be fun.

    I see. *Mavis studies her*  And what exactly did you think you would write about?  What will you consider…fun?

    *Betsy sinks back in her chair*  That’s a little bit of a problem.  See, I don’t really know anything exciting to write about, and I don’t really DO anything exciting except write.

    Perhaps you could write about writing.

    Yeah, but EVERYBODY does that.  *waves hands*  You can’t throw a rock in the blogosphere without hitting a hundred blogs talking about writing.

    True.  *Mavis considers*  They are trying to establish their authority.  But you really don’t have any of that.

    No.  I’m not even sure I want it.

    Good for you, dear.  We should all recognize our limitations.

    Uh…thanks.

    I suppose you could write about yourself and your problems.  After all, there are so many.

    I’m sure I will in the future, but that sounds a little boring.

    *silence*

    Does this blog HAVE to be fun?

    Yes!  I do too much else that’s NOT fun.  The blogging has to be fun, or why bother?  I’m too old to slave at something I don’t like.

    Well, yes.  You are getting a little long in the tooth.  Why don’t you tell me what you like to write.

    Well, I like writing conversations like this.  Do you think that would be stupid if I did this kind of thing more often?  Then maybe it wouldn’t just me spouting off about my feelings and crap.  I could spout off about my feelings WITH somebody.

    *Mavis purses her thin lips*

    And maybe I wouldn’t be so…alone out here.  *Betsy looks away, feeling vulnerable*  Maybe then I’d figure out what I’m doing.

    Hmmm.  *Mavis thinks for a moment*  *Nods her head as if reaching a decision*  *Begins to pack papers back into briefcase*  I believe that this situation calls for a different approach than the one I had originally intended.  If you’ll just wait there–

    You’re leaving?  *Betsy sits upright*  Where are you going?  This post is already way too long!

    Very well, we’ll have to continue this discussion Sunday.  *Mavis packs computer, desk and office chair into her briefcase*  She stares at Betsy until Betsy stands, then packs the visitor chair into her briefcase as well*  *Looks around with satisfaction*  Very good.  I always like to leave a brain neat and tidy.  *Turns back to  Betsy*  Now, dear, you go about your business and play with your Muse for a few days.  I’ll be back after I take care of a few things.

    Do you…promise?

    I promise.  *Mavis gives a thin smile, clicks her heels, and, clutching her big briefcase,  floats out of the post*

    She’s not a librarian, she’s an old Mary Poppins.  *Betsy looks around cautiously* *Relaxes when she sees she is alone in her brain except for the Muse sleeping on a divan*

    That was really weird.  I think I need some coffee.

    And maybe a quaalude.

    *Betsy shuffles out of the post*

    –To be continued–

     magic