Category: Quotes and Poems

A Brainy Pig

As a change of pace, here’s a poem about a brainy pig, courtesy of Roald Dahl.

Enjoy!

The Pig

by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, “By gum, I’ve got the answer!”
“They want my bacon slice by slice
“To sell at a tremendous price!
“They want my tender juicy chops
“To put in all the butcher’s shops!
“They want my pork to make a roast
“And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
“They want my sausages in strings!
“They even want my chitterlings!
“The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
“That is the reason for my life!”
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
“I had a fairly powerful hunch
“That he might have me for his lunch.
“And so, because I feared the worst,
“I thought I’d better eat him first.”

Now, here are questions I had as I read this… Was the pig proactive? Or merely paranoid? He acted on his assumptions, but were his assumptions valid? Had he blinded himself to the reality of his situation by dwelling on worst case scenarios? Or was he correct that the reality of his life would lead him to the butcher shop? Was everyone truly against him? Or would his life have been something completely different and he just acted precipitously? Did his big brain lead him astray? Did his intelligence make him jump too soon? Or did it save him? And, most importantly, can he avert his fate at all? Does it matter that Farmer Bland is gone? Will Pig become a piggy version of Rambo, killing every farmer who comes his way?

Hmmmm…..

And this, children, is why poetry is cool. Even the silliest poems can give you something to think about. Oh, wait! Does the poem mean we shouldn’t think? If I’m not thinking about a poem that tells me not to think, will I miss the message about not thinking?

Hmmmm……

July 9, 2014
Byron For Tuesday

The problem with having a snazzy holiday like Labor Day on a Monday is that all week long I forget what day it is. So I completely forgot today was Tuesday and didn’t prepare a blog post. Oh the horrors! But never fear – Lord Byron is leaping to my rescue. He’s like that.

Here, for your enjoyment, are three of my favorite poems by George Gordon, Lord Byron. Because it amused me, I arranged them as if they were describing a love affair gone wrong. Hey, Byron was a passionate dude – he’d get it.

Stage 1: LOOOOVVVVEEEE (exciting and new)

SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY

She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Stage 2: AH! Troubles! Lots of troubles!

THE DESTRUCTION OF SENNACHERIB

The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold,
And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,
When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee.

Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,
That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn hath blown,
That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.

For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed;
And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!

And there lay the steed with his nostril all wide,
But through it there rolled not the breath of his pride;
And the foam of his gasping lay white on the turf,
And cold as the spray of the rock-beating surf.

And there lay the rider distorted and pale,
With the dew on his brow, and the rust on his mail:
And the tents were all silent, the banners alone,
The lances unlifted, the trumpet unblown.

And the widows of Ashur are loud in their wail,
And the idols are broke in the temple of Baal;
And the might of the Gentile, unsmote by the sword,
Hath melted like snow in the glance of the Lord!

Stage 3: Aftermath (and perhaps a wee bit of bitterness)

WHEN WE TWO PARTED

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow—
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o’er me—
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:—
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met—
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?—
With silence and tears.

Ah, it’s so sad. But don’t worry. I have a feeling Lord Byron climbed right back on that horse again. 😉

September 3, 2013
Wisdom from Abe

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve always had a thing for Honest Abe Lincoln. So today I thought I would celebrate his birthday with his own words. By turns insightful, thought-provoking, and humorous, you just can’t beat a good quote from Abraham Lincoln.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.

Everybody likes a compliment.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who’ll get me a book I ain’t read.

Have a good day, everyone! And whatever; you are, be a good one.

February 12, 2013
The Best Laid Schemes

I planned on writing a blog post today that was overwhelming and heart-wrenching in intensity and grandeur. Then I was hit with…

THE HEAD COLD OF THE CENTURY!!!

And thus could write nothing at all since my head is full of…stuff and I have not managed to roll off my sofa for days.

As Robert Burns put it so gracefully, “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley (often go awry).

And since he did put it gracefully, I thought I would share the poem from whence the phrase originates – “To A Mouse”. This was written by Mr. Burns when he overturned the nest of a field mouse while out plowing one day. I believe I feel like that mouse. Or perhaps just the leavings of the horse pulling the plow.

P.S. – since I’m assuming you understand Burns’ Scottish dialect about as well as I do, I’m sharing this poem in the standard English translation.

To A Mouse

by Robert Burns

(standard English translation)

Small, crafty, cowering, timorous little beast,
O, what a panic is in your little breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With argumentative chatter!
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering plough-staff.

I’m truly sorry man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
And justifies that ill opinion
Which makes you startle
At me, your poor, earth born companion
And fellow mortal!

I doubt not, sometimes, but you may steal;
What then? Poor little beast, you must live!
An odd ear in twenty-four sheaves
Is a small request;
I will get a blessing with what is left,
And never miss it.

Your small house, too, in ruin!
Its feeble walls the winds are scattering!
And nothing now, to build a new one,
Of coarse grass green!
And bleak December’s winds coming,
Both bitter and keen!

You saw the fields laid bare and wasted,
And weary winter coming fast,
And cozy here, beneath the blast,
You thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel plough passed
Out through your cell.

That small bit heap of leaves and stubble,
Has cost you many a weary nibble!
Now you are turned out, for all your trouble,
Without house or holding,
To endure the winter’s sleety dribble,
And hoar-frost cold.

But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Still you are blest, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!

February 5, 2013
Wisdom From Martin

Tomorrow is the celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday here in the US. I thought it would be a good idea to remember this great man in his own words – especially since his words were so eloquent.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’

Whatever your life’s work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.

The time is always right to do what is right.

There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.

Dr. King’s life did not have as much length as it should have, but the breadth and depth were astounding. It is no surprise that his birthday is celebrated with a day of service. So tomorrow, go find somebody and help them. And whatever you do, try to do it well.

January 20, 2013
Quotes for the New Year

Happy New Year everybody! As you may, or may not, know, I love me a good thoughtful or pithy quote. Here are some great ones regarding the start of a new year (and the dreaded New Year’s resolution).

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

James Agate

All of us every single year, we’re a different person. I don’t think we’re the same person all our lives.

Steven Spielberg

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Helen Keller

Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.

Goran Persson

Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.

Cavett Robert

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn’t be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year’s resolution is not to bark back.

Tucker Carlson

Here’s wishing all of you good luck with your resolutions in 2013! It’s for sure I’ll need good luck with mine. LOL

December 31, 2012