Betsy Horvath

Category: Writing

  • Stay The Course

    Although it’s been a little while since we’ve checked in on Betsy’s Quest to be a successful independent author, rest assured her wheels have continued to spin and, indeed, run off the rails. You may remember that Harry, the Guide for Betsy’s Quest, was recently upgraded from a white gerbil to the more traditional white rabbit, and he is desperately trying to live up to his new status. Thus, he made the mistake of pointing out to Betsy the fact that, as she now actually has several books published and available, she needs to start finding more people who’d like to read said books. This includes…advertising.

    As you might expect, Betsy took this idea, ran with it, and drove her train right off a cliff.

    Now Harry is standing outside his office in Betsy’s brain, chewing on his paws and watching Betsy run around like an idiot. He has been joined by the Muse, the creative spirit who sometimes has the power to talk Betsy down into a more, shall we say, rational state.

    Will it work this time? Will Betsy ever turn her attention back to the actual writing? Or will she remain distracted forever?

    Let’s see…

     

    *The Muse and Harry are standing in Betsy’s brain looking through the door into Harry’s office* *Betsy runs past the doorway, hands in the air*

    Click-through rates! Daily spend! Ahhh!

    *Betsy disappears and there is the sound of frantic typing on a computer keyboard* *A moment later, Betsy runs past again*

    Metrics! Downloads! Readthrough!

    *Betsy disappears*

    *Muse turns to Harry*  What did you do?

    *Harry scratches his long, silky ear with a forepaw* I told her maybe we should start to advertise a little bit.

    *Muse sighs* Really?

    *Harry hangs his head* I didn’t think she’d take it like this.

    *Betsy runs past* Spreadsheets! Dashboards! Cost per click!

    *Muse shakes her head* You didn’t think she’d act like this? How long have you been living here, anyway?

    *Harry’s ears flop lower* I was just trying to move forward with the mission statement. She wants to find her readers, and now that she has books out for people to, you know, read, she should be advertising.

    *Muse crosses her arms* She needs to be writing, and not just to get more books finished. She needs to write because that’s who she is.

    *Harry droops still further* I know.

    *Muse pats him on the head* It’s not your fault she’s insane.

    *Betsy stands in the doorway and squawks* Budgets! Conversions!

    *Harry looks up at the Muse* Can you do something?

    *Muse sighs* Can’t I always?

    Yes? *Harry looks doubtful*

    *Muse shakes her head and steps into the office*

    *Betsy runs past her, still squawking* *Stops at laptop* *Looks at screen* *Squawks*

    *Muse walks over to her and takes away the laptop*

    No! No! *Betsy jumps to try to get the laptop* *Stops, winded* Give that back! It’s mine! My precious! My precious!

    No. *Muse walks over to the door and hands the laptop to Harry* *Harry stuffs it under his waistcoat* *Muse blocks Betsy as she tries to get to it, and Harry hops rapidly away*

    It’s mine! I want it! My preciousssssssss!

    Oh, for God’s sakes, pull yourself together. *Muse crosses her arms and frowns* You aren’t writing, so you don’t need the laptop.

    Yes I do!  I do! *Betsy tries to smile winningly* Give it back, please. Give back my precious.

    If you don’t stop talking like that, I’m going to smack you upside the head.

    Oh, okay. *Betsy straightens* But…can’t I just check the click-through rate on–

    No.

    *Betsy smiles again* Can’t I just update my spreadsheet once?

    I don’t think so.

    But I like looking at the spreadsheets and I like to check the sites during the day and I like–

    I don’t care.

    *Betsy hangs her head and pushes the toe of her sneaker into the floor* But I likes them…

    *Muse sighs deeply* I know. They’re something tangible you can hang onto in these uncertain times.

    *Betsy smiles* They are!

    And updating spreadsheets or worrying about ad spend and metrics make you feel like you’re actually doing something productive.

    *Betsy points at the Muse* Yes!

    When all you’re really doing is procrastinating.

    That’s…hey!

    *Muse frowns at Betsy* You know as well as I do that filling out spreadsheets and worrying about advertising or data or metrics is not what’s going to make you successful, either as a writer or a person.

    *Betsy pouts* No, I don’t.

    Yes, you do. You’re just avoiding what you know you have to do.

    *Betsy’s pout deepens* No, I’m not.

    Yes. You are. In the end, you know perfectly well that the only thing that’s going to make you a successful writer is to write. Yes, you need to think about the business side of things, but none of that can take the place of the writing.

    *Betsy paws at the ground like a show pony* Are you saying the best advertisement is the next book?

    I’m saying the business is important, but you can’t let it derail you again. Lord knows you’ve done that often enough in the past. But if you stay on course, if you write the next book and the next book and the next, you might actually make some progress on this Quest of yours. You can’t stop now.

    I can’t?

    No! You have the ability. You can be better than you are. Better. Stronger. Faster. You just need to stay on course.

    *Betsy looks at Muse with wide, round eyes* Yeah?

    *Muse nods* Yeah. Now, let’s get back to work and figure out what’s next.

     

    To be continued…

    Have you missed any of “The Quest” posts? Click Here to read them all!

     

     

     

  • Like Pulling Teeth

    Like Pulling Teeth

    I love writing.  If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t keep doing it.  But as you know in your own lives, sometimes love isn’t all fairy sparkles and pixie dust—sometimes it’s something a lot more jagged.

    It’s the same way with writing.  People often expect that writing is easy.  Most of us know how to write somewhat competently, we all tell stories, so writing a novel has to be like sunshine and moonbeams.  Especially something as “simple” as a romance novel. You think of a story, and you write it down.  Boom!

    Sometimes it is that easy.  There are times when the words flow like water in a stream, chuckling and bubbling until you have to race to keep up with them.  In the editing process, you kneel gracefully to uncover a golden nugget and polish it until it shines, or clip out the excess with silver scissors to let a perfect flower bloom.  You are Snow White singing as you dust the house and tidy it up.

    But sometimes writing is like pulling freaking teeth.  Sometimes you have to physically force yourself to continue, you have to compel yourself to pull up the document and work on it, only to get just a few paragraphs or even a few sentences finished.  You have to force yourself to keep going, one yard at a time.  One footstep at a time.  One inch at a time.  Against a gale-force wind.  Up hill.  Through the snow.

    The last draft of my latest book was like that.  Every step was almost painful, every decision doubted.  Every section completed was a minor miracle, one more tooth pulled—a painful relief.

    Although this book was worse than some, the last drafts are always like this for me, and the resistance against progress is intense.

    Those are the times when I doubt my sanity. I’m not writing any great thing here—heck, I’m writing romance, not Shakespeare. It’s not like it matters whether or not I finish.  Why do I keep putting myself through this?

    Still, I keep doing it.

    What’s even more insane is that at this point in the process, the tooth pulling has become almost a compulsion for me. It must be done. The manuscript must be completed, for good or bad.  I push myself and am pushed to the finish line.

    And then, one day, I cross, and the book is done.

    Not fully formed yet, but ready to go into other people’s hands for judging and commenting and grooming and copyediting.  Then it will come back to me to be finalized before heading out on its own little voyage.

    This thing that did not exist before, does.  This story that was not told before in exactly this way, now is.

    It’s nothing special by any means, just a romance novel.  I hope it will be a good romance novel when it’s completely finished, but it’s nothing that will bring about world peace or anything.  I hope people will enjoy it, I hope it will bring them some escape and entertainment and maybe even a thought or two, but it’s not going to change lives.  I really hope it doesn’t suck, although it definitely might.  I’m sure some people will think that it’s trash regardless.  Some days I’m one of those people.

    But what matters is, it wasn’t there before, and now it is.

    Which is basically, I guess, why I pull those teeth and push myself even when the actual writing part isn’t very much fun.  That’s why I do it when, like now, I’m totally stressed out waiting for feedback.  That’s why I do it when my life is going through some sad times or dark places.

    Maybe that’s why we all create things, be they cakes or afghans or gardens or paintings or books.  Something was not there, and now it is.  Something is new.  Who cares about a few teeth?

    Beginning It is book 2 in the Welcome to Hardy Falls series.  It follows Believing It (book 0.5) and Handling It (book 1).  If all goes somewhat well (and now I’ve jinxed myself), I’m expecting it to be out sometime in December (that’s 2017, you smart aleck), along with a novella (Hardy Falls book 2.5) I’m working on now.  More info to follow soon!

    And I sure hope the tooth pulling gets a little easier the more I do this writing thing.

    But it probably won’t.

     

     

     

  • Trust And Production

    I have trust issues.

    I also usually have issues when I’m editing a book.

    These two things are not unrelated.

    I’ve realized that I always get hung up in the editing process of a book because I don’t trust myself, which in turn makes me doubt my work. In the past, this has meant I rewrite the same book over and over again just because I doubt that it’s good enough.

    You do need to work with first drafts, of course.  At the very least, there are usually problems that need to be addressed or a lack of clarity that needs to be resolved.  Not many people can spit out the first draft of a novel that’s good as it is.  But this rewriting, tweaking, and problem-solving has to be done with a cool head, not one that’s screaming it’s all crap and needs to change.

    For better or worse, the first draft is the underlying structure of what the story will be.  If you make massive changes to this structure, you are basically writing another story.  And if that’s what has to happen, most of the time you’d be better off scrapping it and starting over, rather than taking the time to bend and twist what you have into a radically different vision.

    Sometimes you do need to scrap the story.

    But sometimes you’re bending and twisting it just because you doubt the underlying thing that’s already there.

    Doesn’t that sound a lot like life?  Sometimes you’re laying groundwork, and you have to scrap it.  But sometimes you’re throwing away what’s there simply because you doubt it.

    When I’m finished with the first draft of a novel, I tend to get stuck, and that’s going to have to change.  I can’t get hung up in editing for years because I doubt the story I’ve written is worthwhile.  If it’s that bad, I need to start over, not groom it like a mama chimp looking for fleas on her young.

    I get stuck in editing because I don’t trust my first draft to identify the story.  I don’t trust myself to have expressed the story.  And so I keep thinking I need to change it to make it better, more perfect.  Then most of the time I have to change it back.

    On the other hand, when I write a blog post or a newsletter, I don’t second guess myself nearly as much.  I edit, but I rarely pick them apart.   This gives me confidence, even though writing a novel is a much more complicated process.

    I’m coming up some ideas of how to streamline my editing process, which I’ll share after I see the results.  But more importantly, here are my first steps to move beyond the trap of my own insecurities when it comes to editing a novel-

    Trust the planning I did before I started the first draft

    Trust the first draft to have roughed out that planning

    Trust that I am able to tell an entertaining story.

    Trust that even if this is not the best story in the world, or even a very good one, it won’t be the last one I tell.

    Evaluate the existing first draft with a cool head.

    And move forward.

     

     

     

  • Writing In The Midst Of Difficult Times

    Every once in a while, something happens that pulls back the veil of the illusion of your life and shows you what’s really going on.  You’re moving along, you’re comfortable, you think you’ve got it all under control, and then – boom.  Life bitch slaps you.

    You get the legs knocked right out from under you.  Something changes with no warning and you’re left trying to figure out what to do.

    Last week, the employer I work for in my day job, announced a major change in direction impacting a good portion of the workforce.  Including me.

    Boom.

    I am fortunate in that I’ve been given a little time before I’ll be officially let go, but my job is not “my job” anymore.  No matter how long it lasts, now it’s a temporary job I happen to do.

    Change.

    Difficult times.

    The biggest concern for me as a writer and creative person (other than “how will I pay all of my bills”) is not letting this major setback derail me from my goals.  The day job is definitely important, but my writing goals are also important.  And meeting my writing goals is how I am building towards my future, which makes them doubly valuable.

    Forgetting about writing would be easy.  I can easily get paralyzed by fear and uncertainty.  I can spend my time on social media or surfing the internet or watching TV to try and escape the situation.  Or I can get so wrapped up in looking for another day job and trying to make money that I just stop everything else.

    The fact is, I do need another day job. Finding one is vital.

    But I have to keep writing, too.  I have to keep going.

    Working on a creative pursuit in the midst of difficult times is tough. It’s hard to put yourself in the right mindset to create when you are obsessing over Linkd In and writing a resume.  When my mind is running like a hamster on a wheel, sinking into the book I’m working on is hard.  Forcing myself to sit down and work on it is harder.

    Fortunately, earlier this month, before I knew my life would be changing, I set some extremely aggressive writing goals and have been working diligently to meet them.  That’s very helpful because I’m invested in them – I don’t want the goals to fall away now.  It’s also helpful to know that I NEED to meet them to stay on track with this book – they are not optional.

    Then there’s the fact that when I sit down to write, I feel myself settle.  This, writing, is my thing.  This is under my control.  My life seems a little out of control at the moment, the future is a little bit up in the air, but this pursuit is mine.  I am in control of it and can make it or break it.  Nobody else can tell me what to do in this arena. I hold power over my own life here.

    And the real truth is, I always have power over my own life.  I am always the one who can make or break it.  When the veil of illusion gets ripped away, there is uncertainty, and there is fear, but there is also a reminder of that.

    For me, writing in spite of, and in the midst of, the difficult times helps me to remember. I have the power to stop.  But I also have the power to keep going.  The choice is mine.

     

     

     

  • I Get Knocked Down, I Get Up Again

    When last we heard from Betsy, she was sounding very determined.  And then she vanished from the face of the earth for several weeks.  If you know anything about Betsy, you know that this is definitely not a good sign.  Why it’s almost as if she was trying to ignore flaws and cracks and crevices that were widening and becoming catastrophic and then it all exploded in her face!

    Uh oh.  We’d better see what’s going on….

     

    Betsy is sitting in the soft grass beside the lake in her mind. The wind is blowing gently. Everything is saturated with color and seems to be more in focus than it has been as of late.

    She leans back on her hands, looking at the range of mountains in the distance, the field of grass, the leaves on the trees rustling gently in the warm breeze. The sun is full and bright, the grass and leaves dark green with life, the lake deep blue and peaceful. Even a week ago, the landscape was gray and intangible. Even a week ago, everything was transparent, like the thinnest of papers.  Like a ghost.

    Like Betsy.

    She feels the softness of the ground beneath her palms, feels the weight of her spirit and her body. Even a week ago, everything was insubstantial.

    She looks at the lake, sees the depths of the blue water, the way it laps the shore. The surface is calm, with just a few ripples. Even a week ago, the lake was almost empty, and what water remained was muddy and agitated.

    “You’re back.”

    Betsy looks up to see the Muse standing beside her. The Muse looks out at the grass, the trees, the lake, and then turns to Betsy and considers her.

    “I feel better,” Betsy tells her.

    “Good.” The Muse sits next to her, gracefully tucks her legs up under the folds of her gown. “Do you understand what happened?”

    “I became disheartened.” Betsy straightens. “I did my taxes and saw the expenses and the income. I thought about how little I had accomplished and was accomplishing. I started second-guessing myself and my decisions. And I became disheartened.”

    “Sometimes you have to keep moving even when you are not seeing the results.”

    Betsy looks down. “It’s hard.”

    The Muse shrugs. “Of course. Who said it wouldn’t be? Who said that something worthwhile wouldn’t be a struggle?”

    “I know.” Betsy sighs and pulls out a blade of grass, twirling it in her fingers. “But it’s hard sometimes and I was disheartened.”

    “You almost quit. You were right on the verge of changing everything.”

    “I wasn’t writing. I said that I was dedicated to it, but I didn’t feel like I had any creativity inside me. There was nothing inside me. So why not quit? Why keep struggling? Why keep giving it lip service? Why not get a regular second job to pay off debt, save for the future, do the things we’re all supposed to do? That would have been smarter, definitely more logical. Why keep wasting my time?”

    The Muse nods. “And then…”

    Betsy gestures around her. “Everything went gray and lifeless. I felt like I was transparent, just a dead leaf tumbling in the wind. And I thought that I shouldn’t quit if this was the way I was going to feel because it was horrible.”

    The Muse settles back. “But you’re writing now. You’re making headway now. Did the creativity come back when you made the decision to keep going?”

    “It wasn’t that easy. At first, I had decided not to quit, but I couldn’t actually write either.  There still wasn’t any creativity inside me. So I looked at some other things I could do first. I started changing the way I’ve been eating so it would be better for my diabetes. Then I tried to go to bed earlier to get more sleep, and to get up with the alarm so I could take control of my mornings. All of that gave me the groundwork I needed to be able to write again. Once I started writing, I finally felt like myself.”

    “And what have you learned?”

    Betsy thinks for a moment. “That the right food and the right sleep and the right motivation are just as important as sitting at the computer because that’s what the creativity is built on.”

    “Go on.”

    “And that you have to have faith. Faith that it will work out. Faith that it’s worth it. Faith that you’re doing the right thing. Faith even when you are being given an opportunity to doubt yourself. Because if you lose faith in what you’re doing, you lose everything. I had been losing it for a while, and the last couple of weeks were just the result.”

    The Muse leans forward and takes Betsy’s hand. “And I will tell you something else. You have to throw away your timelines. There are no expiration dates on your dreams as long as you are alive and willing to fight for them. But you do have to fight sometimes.”

    Betsy looks at the Muse and grips her hand. “And sometimes it’s hard.”

    The Muse nods. “Sometimes it is. But no one ever said it wouldn’t be.”

     

    To be continued…

    Author’s note – the song in the youtube clip below probably doesn’t have the slightest thing to do with this blog post, but it kept running around in my head as I wrote this, so I thought I’d share the earworm.  You’re welcome.  😀

    [tube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H5uWRjFsGc[/tube]

  • Simplifying Objectives

    As I’ve mentioned before, one can have a production schedule. One can have the best darned production schedule in the history of production schedules. One can have dreams and aspirations. One can have goals.

    But if one gets what was either the Head Cold From Hell or a sinus infection, one is not going to be either creative or productive for a long time, and one’s production schedule will flit away like dust in the wind.  Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.  Now that The Sickness has finally returned to the pit that spawned it and I’m feeling better, I can decide how I want to proceed.

    Obviously, I did not meet my original goals for the first two months of the year. I did manage to get a few things done before I was taken out, but not much.  On the other hand, once my teeth stopped aching, lying around on the sofa gave me time to think.

    One thing I realized was that my plans were getting way too complicated. I have a tendency to do that “if this is good, more will be better!” thing.  All it usually does is get me off track, leaving me distracted and confused.

    That’s especially true in an area like this.  Writing is important to me, but I don’t have a lot of confidence that I know what I’m doing, especially when it comes to the publishing/marketing side of things. So when people who DO seem to know what they’re doing give extremely good advice, I assume that I must follow it. They are right, and I am wrong, and I must do what they say to do because of course that is the right thing to do.

    But in the end, the pursuit of writing is a creative endeavor, not something that can be analyzed and quantified. There is no “right” way to do it. There are things you probably should do – like tell a good story and use good grammar – but there is no one path to pursuing success. So even though everyone says that THIS is the way to be successful, in the end it doesn’t matter a whole lot.  Ultimately, there is only you and the blank page and your desire to tell stories.

    Besides, as soon as you start to do what everyone tells you to do, that will be wrong, and they’ll be doing something else.

    Most of the time the advice given by “experts” is well-meaning and undoubtedly true under certain circumstances.  But not everything is true for everyone’s situation.

    Anyway, lying on my sofa, I realized that I, once again, was trying to follow everyone’s advice, and I was trying to follow it all at the same time.  This pulled me in many different directions and distracted me from the only thing that’s important – finishing my next book.

    Which brings me back to my production schedule.  I’ve changed it, and it’s very simple now.  I’m going to finish my next book (”Welcome to Hardy Falls Book 2”) in time so it can come out when I want it to come out. Then I’m going to finish the next book so that it can come out too.  The other projects I had on my schedule – writing and non-writing related–will have to be shelved for now.

    I’m still going to write down tasks and dates–it helps to see it on paper instead of just keeping it in my head. It’s easy to forget what you really want if you don’t see it in front of you. But I’m not going to live by that paper because, as was demonstrated to me so ably in these last few weeks, life happens. My production schedule is more just broad strokes now, instead of specific dates.

    I’m also not going to try to write two blog posts a week like I was because that pulls my focus away from where it needs to be. I’m going to try to do one a week, but only if I can think of something to talk about. Forcing myself to write a blog just because it’s time to write a blog is not my idea of fun–and the blog has to be fun. I will be writing a newsletter once a month because I love learning more about my friends in Hardy Falls, and the stories I write for the newsletter helps me grow the town.

    I’ll definitely be doing some basic marketing – like writing good descriptions and getting good covers, but for now, that’s all I’ll be doing in that area.

    I am well underway with the second draft of “Welcome to Hardy Falls Book 2” (which really does have a title, but I want to think about it before I share it), and I’m pleased with how things are shaking out so far.  My objective now is to become more efficient with my revision process, but I think I’m figuring out some tricks to help speed things along. I’m angry with myself because I feel like I wasted a lot of time between the first and second draft (again), but I was trying to do too many things that seemed like good ideas (again).

    So, here’s my new production schedule– do the first thing. Then do the next.  Keep going and keep it simple.