Category: Miscellaneous Ramblings

I’m always surprised by what you can find out about someone just by reading their car.

Forget trying to figure out an incomprehensible vanity license plate.  All you have to do these days is read the stickers and decals and cling-ons and magnetic ribbons people seem to be sticking all over their vehicles.  Everything from how many kids and animals they have to whether or not they like “Twilight” is right out there for the world to discover.  Self expression on four wheels.

You can find out if they’ve had cancer or a serious illness, or if they know someone who does. You can find out if they have any religious or political affiliations and how aggressively they support them. You might be able to find out who they supported in the last election from an old bumper sticker. If the bumper sticker is halfway peeled off, you can intuit that they no longer support that candidate.

You can find out the breed of their dog and whether or not they love it. You can find out whether or not they’ve traveled, and where they’ve been. You can find out if they engage in any sort of recreational activity, and whether or not they’ve run a marathon.

By reading the cars, you can see the names of the kid’s school mascots or any sports associations they might belong to. Today I passed a car sporting a decal for the “Hedgehogs”. That seemed unfortunate. How athletic are Hedgehogs anyway? Of course, the Hedgehog in the decal was holding a pencil, so maybe they aren’t into sports. One local high school is apparently called the “Trojans”, which I think is perhaps a little more encouragement than your average high school student needs.

As I drive, I read the cars and learn about the people driving them. Do they like NASCAR or ballet? Do they support the Rams or the Bucs or the Phillies? Are they activists or do they have droll senses of humor? I drive and I wonder and I think.  What can I say? I find it amusing.

And me? I don’t have a blessed thing on my car. Maybe that makes people wonder too.

Or maybe they just think I’m boring.

 

 

PS – Hey, by the way, if you have a small child or children, you might want to reconsider all of the decals that tell us about them. I’m not sure you want everyone in the world to know all about your kids. That might be my paranoia talking, but I thought I’d mention it.

I was in the cafeteria at work the other day thinking about how much workplace fashions have changed since I was a shiny new worker-bee Betsy.

For example, I was working at a bank when casual Fridays came into vogue. In fact, they had been all the rage in other industries for several years (banks are notorious late adopters of fashion trends). It was a HUGE deal when this bank decided to prove how progressive it was by adopting casual Fridays. They printed a multi-page pamphlet and distributed it to all employees giving guidelines of what was appropriate casual wear, and what was not. If we had any questions, we were supposed to contact our supervisor for guidance.

I’m not kidding. I wish I had saved the pamphlet.

I can just imagine my supervisor’s face if I had called him at 7:00 in the morning to ask if my casual day attire was appropriate.  “But my biker shorts are purple…are they okay?”

I don’t work in banking anymore. At my current employer, quite a few people wear jeans or cords every day of the week. And during the summer flip-flops are everywhere in our office – for men and women (although I wish the men would shave their hairy toes before they wear them).

I also remember a day when I was only a few years out of high school. I was talking to my supervisor at at one of my first jobs – an older woman who basically ran the office. I don’t know how it came up, but she said (and this is pretty much a direct quote) “I think it should be illegal for women to wear pants to work.”

Well, okay then.

Today I often see young (and some not-so-young) women wearing skirts or dresses that hit them mid-thigh or higher at work. Sometimes the dress or skirt just barely covers their butt. One day I followed a young woman who was wearing a light pink sweater dress so short that she had to constantly tug it down as she walked. I believe I saw not only the color, but the style of her underwear, which was really more information that I cared to receive. (although if she hadn’t been wearing any underwear, that REALLY would have been TMI)

I laughed when I thought about my old supervisor and her edict against pants. I’m not quite sure this was what she had in mind.

And the moral of the story? You should always be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.

And if you’re going to wear a short skirt to work, you should always wear underwear.

 

I often ponder what I should write on my blog. But then I figure I should just tell you what I’m thinking about at the time. Because, hey. I’ve really got nothing else to write about.

This week I’ve been thinking about colds. Head colds. Well, really head colds that settle in your throat and make you feel like you are being stabbed with hot pokers, to be precise.  I really am feeling better now than I was earlier in the week, but since colds are what I’ve been thinking about I thought I would share with you.  And so, here are some fun facts about the common cold.

What is a “cold” anyway?

The common cold is a viral infectious disease that infects the upper respiratory system. It is also known as acute viral rhinopharyngitis, or acute coryza. So there.

Can I catch a cold by going out in the cold?

Experts say that going out when it is cold does not have any effect on the risk of catching a cold or spreading one. Sometimes when I have a cold, I intentionally go outside because I figure the cold might kill the germs. But that’s just me. I’m a little unusual.

Well, okay then. What causes a cold?

The common cold can be caused by more than 200 different viruses. Up to 50% of colds are caused by rhinoviruses.  As opposed to rhinoceroses.

Why do we cough?

Duh, so we can get the attention of sales clerks talking on their cell phones when we want to pay and get out of the store.  And we cough to clear our airways (lungs, throat, etc). Sometimes we cough because of irritations to our airways – either an inhaled irritant (like smoke) or due to an infection of the upper airways. Sometimes we cough because we feel like we have hot pokers being stabbed into our voice box.

Why do our noses run?

Because they can’t walk! HAH! I SLAY me! No, no. Viruses, like our friend the cold virus, get in there and attack the mucus membranes, causing extra watering and mucus production. Trust me on this one.

Ew. Mucus. What is Mucus?

Mucus is a slippery, slightly sticky fluid produced by membranes in the mouth, nose, throat and naughty bits. The mucus membrane traps anything inhaled…like viruses. And then it’s all over but the shouting. Or coughing.

And what should I do for a cold?

Gargle with salt water. Because my mother says to. And because it really does help. It kind of pickles your throat and kills the nasty little virus germies. And eat chicken soup. Because you just should, that’s all. Unless you’re vegetarian. Then you should eat vegetable soup. Which is what I’m going to do right now.

 

 

References:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/166606.php
http://www.drreddy.com/rhinitis.html
http://www.ivillage.com/why-does-gargling-salt-water-help-your-throat/4-n-142239
http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/jan/10/chicken_soup_common_cold/

I used to love playing with my Barbies. My sister and I would crack their little legs and put them on my mother’s spinning wheel. We would spin the wheel and they’d go flying across the room….good times. Our Barbies and Kens would go camping and swimming and ride in their cars and even on a planes.

When my little 6 1/2 year old niece began to show some interest in Barbie, I was excited. I looked forward to buying Barbie stuff for her.

Then I actually tried to buy Barbie clothes.

My choice of Barbie clothes at my local Target consisted of: ballgowns of various degrees of glitter, a set of very small, very shiny clubbing dresses, or a set with “play” clothes. This last was made up of short skirts, crop tops, high heels with leg warmers, and roller skates. That’s the set I got. At least it had roller skates.

I admit that I didn’t comparison shop, so I can’t tell you what Barbie wardrobe choices are available at other “big box” stores.  I’m assuming that the selection I saw was fairly typical.  And it made me kind of angry, if you want to know the truth.

The kid I was shopping for likes to go fishing with her father. She wants to ride a skateboard and play basketball. Where were Barbie’s sloppy jeans, for God’s sake? Where were t-shirts and sneakers? What does Barbie wear when she goes camping or swimming? Does she always wear Victoria’s Secret lingerie to bed? Can’t she wear a sleep shirt?

I’m being serious here. Because what if you’re a girl who doesn’t especially want to wear sparkly little dresses and ballgowns? And then there’s this doll that’s presented as what a girl should be. And this doll mirrors what you see on television for the most part. Won’t you think that you don’t want to be a girl? Or that you’re the wrong kind of girl?

And what if you are a girl who DOES like sparkly dresses – absolutely nothing wrong with a good sparkly dress. But if that’s the only thing you see Barbie do, then won’t you think that’s the only thing you can do? That it’s okay if you want to be a princess, but you’d better not want to be a physicist. And won’t you think there’s no way you can wear sparkly dresses AND be a physicist?

I don’t want to offend the Barbie lovers out there.  Maybe I’m just oversensitive because I want my niece to have all of the possibilities life can offer.  But I was sad, because I really did love my Barbies.  I’m sorry she’s become so limited in the years since I was a kid.

When pregnancies crop up among my friends and co-workers I, as an author, feel that it is my obligation, nay, my duty, to help come up with names for the babies. As far as I know, none of my suggestions have ever been chosen by the parents, but I remain ever hopeful.

It has occurred to me that it might be time to provide a similar service to readers of my blog, in case any of you are in need of a baby name. In addition, I thought that if I marketed my baby naming services, I might be able to turn it into a lucrative sideline. Good, eh?

First, I wanted to throw out a couple of names I think are very special, but you’d have to have certain last names to really make them work. For one of my coworkers, with the last name of “Burton”, I suggested the name “Ernie”. Then when the kid is seven or eight or so the coach of his sports team can call out “Burton, Ernie!” Get it? Bert and Ernie! HAHAHAHA! (I have to admit – I had help thinking up that one).

As good as that name is, she walked away from it TWICE! No respect.

Also, I once knew a guy who’s last name was Burgur. I suggested that he name his son “Hamilton”. Get it? Ham Burgur. HAHAHAHA!

Yes, it’s just that kind of quality I’m ready to offer you today.

Okay, so here are a few suggestions. The babies I am trying to name at the moment are all due in the spring, so these names are geared for that season. Also, just as a side note, you’ll see that these are mostly names for girls. But don’t let that box you in. It is my opinion that any young boy would be proud to carry one of these names around with him like a burden he can’t get rid of.

As I said, these are spring names. First, we have seasonal:

Cherry Blossom
April Showers
Daffodil
Tulip
Forsythia (for something a little more formal)

Next, we have Easter holiday specials:

Cadbury
Bunny
Jelly Bean (you could call him/her “Beanie”)
Hershey Kiss
Peep (but not “Stale Peep”)
Chick
Egg (which came first? hahahahaha)

Then, here are some miscellaneous suggestions:

Titania (just be careful how you shorten it)
Pippa (you can buy her an ugly hat)
Cobweb
Peasblossom (Shakespearean)

Oh, there are so many possibilities.

I hope that I have stimulated your own creative musings. Come on, don’t be afraid to help your friends, relatives and coworkers out. They appreciate it – really they do.

And don’t worry about the kids. They’ll be fine.

Eventually.