Category: The Quest

Objectives, Part 1

Betsy’s starship is lurching around the galaxy. THE book she’s been working on for endless millennium has been released into the wild. So what’s next? What path will Betsy traverse? What mountain will she climb? Will she lounge upon her sofa eating bon-bons? Or will she buckle down and keep moving?

Let’s see….

Our Cast of Characters-

Betsy – an author of undetermined talent and so-so perseverance who is on a Quest to become a successful independent author and, perhaps, a successful human being.

Harry – a white gerbil who is the Guide for Betsy’s Quest. If he can help Betsy dream the impossible dream, the Muse Council (the governing body of all Muses, Guides, and Questors) has promised he might become a white rabbit or maybe even a white stag. He’ll have earned it.

Muse – Betsy’s Muse. She’s a smart-ass.

Skipper – a chipmunk who is one of the best Habit Implementation Specialists the Muse Council has to offer.

Coffee – the caffeinated beverage of champions.

Betsy lounges on the comfy sofa in Harry’s office in her. She’s eating bon-bons. Harry is sitting on the tallest tower of his gerbil habitat, working on his gPad (an iPad-like device made specifically for Quest Guides, who tend not to have opposable thumbs). The Muse is sitting in an armchair doing a crossword puzzle. Skipper is practicing her high-kicks while watching an improving television show. Coffee is percolating.

I can’t believe it’s finally done. *Betsy stretches* THE book is finally finished.

Right. *Harry swipes a paw across his gPad*

It is! *Betsy sits up and glares at Harry* It’s done. It’s available everywhere.

*Harry doesn’t look up* It’s not on Google Play.

Because I can’t make it available there. *Betsy’s glare becomes ferocious* It’s an ebook. It’s a print book. Boom!

It’s not an audio book. *Harry swipes paw*

And it won’t be unless I inherit a couple thousand dollars. I think I’m doing good. You saw how much trouble I had creating that print book. It took HOURS. Now it’s done and looks professional. Mostly.

Yup. Swell. *Harry swipes* You need to write the first newsletter.

*Betsy’s eyes fill with tears* Why are you being mean? Can’t you just tell me I did a good job?

*Harry sighs and puts aside his gPad* *crosses little arms on edge of tower* *looks at Betsy* Of course you did a good job, babe. But you can’t rest on your laurels.

I’m not resting on laurels! I don’t even know what laurels are. *Betsy shoves box of bon-bons behind her back and tries to hide them*

Yeah? *Harry waves paw* So, what are you working on over there?

Okay, maybe I’m not working this second, but I’m working. I’m working on the next book. Right, Muse?

*Muse works on her crossword puzzle* Sure.

*Harry leans back* You’ve made some progress on the book, but you’ve also been watching a lot of Netflix.

*Betsy pouts* I was resting. I’m allowed to rest, darn it.

You’re scared. *Muse doesn’t look up from puzzle book*

*Betsy frowns at her* Am not.

Are too. You don’t think you can do it again. *Muse hums* What’s a four letter word for “difficult?”

Hard. And I’m not scared because it’s hard. *Betsy shifts on sofa* Time just seems to get away from me. I get sidetracked. Then I look up and three months have passed and I really haven’t done the important thing – like write.

I zink you need me *Coffee passes over a cup* Espresso? Double shot.

*Harry shudders in horror* For the love of all that’s holy do NOT give her espresso.

*Muse looks up* What’s a six letter word for “disturbed?”

Psycho. *Betsy pouts* And I want coffee.

*Coffee leers* I know you do, my little non-dairy creamer.

You don’t need coffee. *Skipper bounces over to stand on coffee table* You need objectives!

*Betsy frowns* Objectives?

*Skipper stops bouncing to roll her eyes* Oh for Pete’s sake, we’ve talked about this all before! Why do you think I’m here? For my health? Yes! Objectives!

*Betsy smiles sheepishly* I forgot.

*Muse snorts* See? Scared. What’s a ten letter word for “frightened?” With a hyphen?

Scaredy-cat. And I’m not. *Betsy sounds unsure*

Do you really want to be successful with this whole writing gig? *Harry demands*

Yes? *Betsy sounds even more unsure*

Then Skipper’s right. You need objectives. *Harry nods* You need a plan.

*Betsy frowns* I know what I want to do.

*Skipper sighs* Maybe you do, in a mushy-mind kind of way. But if you are serious about upping your game, you need a plan. Which, hello!, I’ve told you before.

Really? *Betsy looks at Harry, Muse, and Coffee* *Harry and Muse nod* *Coffee sips*

Oh, for the love of…Yes! You do! Unless you want to wait four more years to publish your next book. *Skipper scowls a cute little scowl*

No. *Betsy chews her lip* So, what do you want me to do?

*Skipper pulls a tablet computer from her fur* *taps in a few keys* Go read the blog posts you’ve already written on this subject. Think about what you want to do. What’s your overall desire? What are you trying to achieve? Think big picture and long term. Then come back and we’ll chat. It’ll be easy. *Skipper snickers*

O…okay. *Betsy’s eyes grow wide with alarm*

*Muse looks up from her puzzle* What’s a seven letter word for “wishful thinker?”

*Betsy gulps* Dreamer?

*Muse smiles* Right.

To be continued…

September 6, 2015
Making It So

Previously on Betsy’s blog….

Betsy has announced that she is going to be publishing her next book on June 22nd. Harry, Betsy’s Guide on her Quest to become a successful independent author, has called all hands on deck to make sure Betsy doesn’t back out or screw up in another, as yet unknown, way.

When last we left our hearty crew, the aforementioned Harry, Betsy’s Muse (known simply as “Muse”), Skipper (a chipmunk who is the best Habit Implementation Specialist around), Coffee (the beverage of champions), and the Blogosphere (who can be kind of a jerk), were all gathered in Harry’s office in Betsy’s brain, preparing to boldly go where Betsy has never gone before. They are also, as fate would have it, dressed in vintage Star Trek uniforms. There’s even a uniform for Betsy! Yes, it has a red shirt, but…hmmm…

Harry, the Captain Kirk of this little drama, is trying to get his ship underway. But first he has to figure out what’s left to be done. Does Betsy know? Does she even have a clue? And, more importantly, will she be able to evade the Dark Voice – the force trying to push her off her path – long enough to get her starship to the finish line?

Let’s see….

*Harry pounds on the arms of his captain’s chair with his little paws* Attention, people. The Dark Voice is already trying to invade my ship. We need a plan and we need it now before Betsy becomes a Borg!

*Muse sits on the sofa next to Coffee* Set phasers to stun?

No! *Harry pounds the arms of the chair* We will not just stun this time. Set phasers to KILL!

*Betsy turns from pulling on her uniform shirt* I have phasers in my brain? When did I get them? Can I use them anytime I want?

It’s a metaphor. *Muse settles back and crosses legs* Someday you’ll know about such things.

*Harry glares at everyone in the office impartially* We have to remain focused. The Dark Voice is always strongest at the end of the journey, just when you’re ready to take the last steps. It knows that if Betsy can break through her final barriers, she might actually end up on the right path. It doesn’t want that to happen. It’s trying to knock this starship off course and we can’t let that happen! We’re going to have to hit Warp Nine and hold it to the finish line! Now, what still needs to be done to make this book a reality?

*all eyes turn to Betsy*

*Betsy smooths down her uniform shirt* *Looks up to see everyone staring at her* What?

*Harry growls at her* What do you still need to do to get the book out? Come on, I’m aging here.

*Betsy blinks* But…but…I didn’t prepare! I didn’t know there would be a test. I didn’t bring my notes!

That’s illogical *Coffee sips a cup of himself* We are in your brain. Therefore, all of your notes are here.

Good point…hey. In the last post you were playing Scotty. That sounded more like Spock.

I’m expanding my role.

*Muse reaches over to Betsy and pats her arm* Just let it go. They’ll get it out of their system sooner or later.

Damn it, Muse! *Harry pounds chair* This isn’t a game. We need to move!

*Muse stares at him coolly* Excuse me?

*Harry returns her stare* *Swallows* Um, sorry. Ma’am.

*Muse nods* Good.

Wow. *Betsy leans towards Muse* I wish I could do that. What role are you playing?

My own. *Muse leans back in seat again* But Captain Harry and Mr. Coffee do have a point. What’s left to do?

Here. *Skipper hands Betsy a sheaf of papers* I took the liberty of downloading some information from your gray matter.

*Betsy stares at the papers* Thanks. Way to communicate there, Skipper.

*Skipper shrugs* I was bored. Without her comm screens, Lt. Uhura doesn’t have much to do..

Right. *Betsy shuffles through papers* Okay. The edits are finished. I’m giving the manuscript one final read-through, and then the body of the book will be done.

Good. *Harry settles back in his chair*

*Betsy continues to read* Then I need to get the front matter and back matter finished.

Matter? *Harry surges forward* What matter?

*Betsy shrugs* That’s like the copyright page and the author bio and stuff like that. I have most of it roughed out.

Oh. Okay. *Harry sits back again* *waves paw* Make it so.

*Betsy stares at him* I just said I would.

*Muse reaches out and taps paper* What else?

*Betsy reads* Oh, just a few little things. Convert the book into the various formats and make it look nice, and set up accounts with the different vendors, and figure out categories and keywords and metadata, and get the book up for preorder as an ebook, and set up a newsletter link on my site, and figure out how to do print on demand, and get ISBN numbers, and… *gulps* Golly. That’s a lot.

*Coffee frowns* Hmmm. Yes, it’s life. But not as we know it. I suggest more caffeine to help you work faster or your aspirations will place you in a Vulcan mind-meld and you’ll be stuck.

More caffeine? But I already can’t sleep! *Betsy pulls hair*

You’ve got to keep going now. *Blogosphere cackles* Resistance is futile.

We’ll help. *Skipper bounces up and down on keyboard* I can open all hailing frequencies.

NO! *Harry stands* *tugs gold uniform shirt down over round tummy* If you open the hailing frequencies, the Dark Voice might sneak in. We cannot allow that.

*Skipper pouts* But I want to open all of the hailing frequencies. That’s all I ever get to do. I don’t even have my own phaser.

I said, no. *Harry struts around chair* *stares out into Betsy’s brain* Betsy knows the way to the stars, but if the Dark Voice attacks, her shields may fail and she’ll be cast adrift.

*Skipper continues to pout* Aye, aye, Captain.

*Betsy stares at Harry* *chews on her bottom lip* What if I can’t do it?

*Harry looks at her with big, dark eyes* You can do it. You will do it.

*Blogosphere shifts position* *smirks* Too late now anyway. We’re all watching.

*Muse smacks Blogosphere on the back of its heads*

*Harry continues to watch Betsy* What do you say? Are you ready to take that last step into the final frontier? Are you ready to make the trek? Are you ready to go where you’ve never gone before?

*Betsy clears throat* I am? *voice wobbles*

*Harry clasps hands behind his back* *glares at Betsy* Say it like you mean it.

*Betsy clenches fists* I am!!

*Harry glares at her* Say it louder. Are you ready to go?

*Betsy jumps into the air* YES, I AM! *gives double fistpump*

*Harry gestures* Then, make it so, number one.

YYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *Betsy runs out of post*

*Harry looks at the Muse* We’d better keep an eye on her.

*Muse sighs* Tell me about it. She still has on the red shirt.

To be continued…

June 2, 2015
All Hands On Deck

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

Betsy has made a decision. I know, but it’s true! She is going to publish her book and it will be out in eBook form on June 22nd! It WILL goldarnit!

As you may know, Betsy has a Guide on her Quest to become a successful independent author-entrepreneur. Although most seekers on a Quest have a White Hare or a White Stag to lead them on the path towards their goal, the International Muse Council has assigned Betsy a White Gerbil with ambition – Harry. Harry wants to be promoted, and the IMC told him he might get moved up if he can keep Betsy on the straight and narrow. (Good luck with that)

Other members of “Team Betsy” are: her Muse, who has appeared as a Goth-girl, but seems to be taking on a lot of new dimensions recently; Skipper, a chipmunk who is one of the top Habit Implementation Specialists at the IMC (and really a little too chipper for her own good); Coffee, the beverage of champions; and the Blogosphere. Well, the Blogosphere isn’t really on “Team Betsy,” but it shows up anyway. Sometimes.

Trying to pull Betsy down the path to destruction is the Dark Voice…but more about that later.

As we rejoin our adventure, Betsy has finally taken the first toddling steps towards a certain level of maturity. But now Harry has summoned her back to her brain (and, yes, it should worry you that Betsy has to be summoned back to her own brain). Isn’t everything settled? Aren’t things moving along? What in the world could he want?

Let’s see….

*Betsy enters her brain* *brain lurches* *throws her against wall* *she clutches at frontal lobe to steady herself* *brain lurches again*

*siren sounds*

AAAHHHHOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAHHH! AAAHHHOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAHHH! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! AAAHHHOOOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAHHH!

*voice comes over loudspeaker system*

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ALL HANDS ON DECK. WE HAVE COMMITMENT. I REPEAT, WE HAVE COMMITMENT.

Harry? *Betsy pushes off frontal lobe* *is thrown down to floor as brain bucks* What the heck? What’s going on? And when in the world did I have a loudspeaker system installed in my brain? Or sirens? *Betsy races down sulci as sirens continue to wail*

FULL COMMITMENT HAS BEEN REACHED. I REPEAT, FULL COMMITMENT. ALL HANDS ON DECK!

*Betsy is thrown into a wall of gray matter* *recovers and starts running again* *slides around corner and falls into Harry’s office*

Finally! Get over here.

Harry? What are you doing? *Betsy stumbles forward as brain lurches to the side* And why is my brain bucking like this?

Why? Because you finally made a commitment! A full-mind commitment! Your brain is in shock. There….it’s settling down now.

*brain lurches one last time, then shudders into stillness*

Whew! *Betsy blows out a breath* I was…wait. Where did that captain’s chair come from?

*Harry glares at her from his seat in an orange captain’s chair perched on top of his gerbil habitat* I ordered it from eBay. Got a problem with that?

How much did it…why are you wearing a Star Trek uniform? You look like Captain Kirk.

*Harry preens* That’s the whole idea. Our starship is finally leaving drydock. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for! We are about to boldly go where no one has gone before!

*Betsy frowns* But plenty of other people have published books.

Then we’re about to go where YOU’VE never gone before. Shut up. *Harry swivels in his chair and looks at a laptop open on top of the coffee table in front of the sofa in his office* Do we have any contact, lieutenant?

Nothing yet, sir.

Excellent.

*Betsy moves closer to the coffee table* *Sees Skipper sitting on the keyboard of the laptop* Skipper? Why are you here? And why are you in a Star Trek uniform, too?

Do you like it? *Skipper stands and twirls so the little uniform skirt swoops out* I went old school Star Trek rather than Next Gen or Deep Space 9.

Very Lieutenant Uhura.

*Skipper beams*

And you’re here because…?

*Harry leans forward in his captain’s chair and glares at Betsy* She’s here because she’s the best darned Habit Implementation Specialist at the IMC, and I don’t trust you. I’ve been waiting for over a year to get you to this point, and I’m not going to let you back out now.

*Betsy bites her lip* I’m not going to back out. *eyes slide to the left*

Damn right you’re not! *Harry stands, turns, points at his tail* Do you see this?

*Betsy closes her eyes* Harry, I’m not sure the spandex is a good look for you.

Not my butt, doofus, my TAIL. Do you see it?

*Betsy opens one eye* *peeks* *opens both eyes* Hey! Your tail is little and puffy now. Not long and skinny.

Exactly. *Harry sits back down in his captain’s chair* And do you know what that means?

*Betsy thinks* No.

*Harry rolls his eyes* It MEANS that I’m heading towards Hare-hood. I’m taking a step up the Quest Guide hierarchy. I’m heading to be a White Hare instead of a White Gerbil! That’s what it means!

*Betsy frowns* Okay.

*Harry sighs* Look. Moving up to hare means a lot to me, just like writing means a lot to you. You are finally taking steps forward, and I’m not going to let you run away.

*Betsy’s frown deepens* I’m not going to run away. Didn’t you see my blog post? I put up a sale date and everything.

*Harry nods* Yes. More than that, I see what’s going on INSIDE you. I know that you’re serious. And that means we need to be prepared for attacks and evasive maneuvers.

I don’t understand. *Betsy walks to stand next to Harry’s gerbil habitat* I’ve made the decision. I’ve put myself out there. So everything’s good to go now, right?

*Harry snorts* So naïve.

Sir! The Dark Voice is on the starboard bow! *Skipper touches her earpiece as she listens* It’s trying to open hailing frequencies.

Don’t let it in! Damn it, where is the rest of my crew?

We’re here. We’re here. *The Muse strolls in, followed by Coffee and the Blogosphere*

*Coffee runs to the sofa and sits* I canna go any faster, Captain. I’ve got no more power. *winks at Skipper* Well, hello my fine wee lassie.

I don’t even want to be here. *Blogosphere tugs at uniform collar with some of its hands* Do you know how hard it was finding enough Star Trek uniforms to fit me? I’m the Blogosphere, not a miracle worker, damn it.

You all look very nice. *Betsy studies them* *pouts* Why don’t I have a uniform? I want one, too.

We have one for you. *Skipper points to a chair* Look! Your uniform is red, like mine.

*Betsy frowns* Um, thanks…?

To be continued….

PS – yes, yes. I know this is a guinea pig, but apparently nobody dresses up chipmunks in Star Trek uniforms anymore. Cretins.

May 28, 2015
What May Come

As we rejoin our story, we find Betsy and Harry, the white gerbil who is Betsy’s Guide on her Quest to become a successful independent author / publisher, lying on their backs in the field of waving wheat that spreads across a portion of Betsy’s brain. They are watching the sky overhead. As they watch, stars form and splinter apart. Suns grow and burst. Dreams stir. They have been here before.

For the last few weeks, Betsy has seemed to be moving forward on her Quest. She has been running around like a chicken with her head cut off to get the business side of things going. But Harry senses something is amiss. Is it? Is Betsy using sleight of hand so people think she is doing a lot when she is actually practicing her finely honed skills of procrastination and avoidance? Let’s see…

*Betsy lays with her arms outstretched, fingers digging into the earth* Why are we here?

You needed to come here again. *Harry lays on his back with his paws folded at his chest* *His tail is curled to cover his boy-gerbil bits, as is proper*

Why? Oh! I think that’s a super nova! *Betsy points at the sky*

*Harry considers* Yes, I believe that’s a very good idea going on there. *Turns head to look at Betsy* I don’t see a second draft for the book you’re working on.

Oh. *Betsy props herself on an elbow to look down at Harry* Well, you see, I’ve been doing a lot of work to get the business part up and running. I have a business name now and a checking account and there’s some money there, and—

But no second draft. Look! *Harry points with a paw as a star shoots across the sky* That’s a passing thought that might have burned brightly in a story, but it was a little too fleeting for you to capture.

*Betsy settles back* You’re saying I’m not paying attention. I’m not catching these thoughts when they pass by, I’m letting them burn out.

*Harry folds paws* Are you?

No! *Betsy turns head to glare at him* I’m writing. I’m working. You know I am. I’ve gotten a lot done on the book.

You’re also spending a lot of time watching Netflix.

So? Aren’t I allowed to relax? I have a lot on my plate. Between my day job and caring for my mother and other things I’ve got a lot of freaking responsibility. And didn’t I just tell you that I’ve gotten a lot done?

Yes. *Harry’s large, dark eyes follow a comet as it zooms across the sky*

*Betsy crosses arms* *Glares* I’m allowed to relax. I’m allowed to watch damned Netflix if I want to. I’m allowed to read a book. I can go to a movie. I don’t have to work every single minute of every day. I don’t have to live up to your expectations.

Of course not. *Harry turns his head to look at Betsy* Although you realize I’m just vocalizing the expectations you have of yourself.

Yeah, so what? *Betsy scowls* I let myself down all the time. Who cares.

Ah.

What does that mean? *Betsy sits up to glare down at Harry again*

*Harry sits up as well* I didn’t say anything. I made a sound.

Yeah, well it was a stupid sound. *Betsy lies back down*

*Harry rolls to his feet* *Jumps over on top of Betsy’s chest* *Looks down at her* I just want you to tell me what’s going on.

Nothing—

Don’t lie to me! *Harry’s voice is sharp, deep beyond his size* Not to me. I live here, remember? *taps Betsy’s forehead*

Which is just weird. *When Harry doesn’t look away, Betsy turns her head* Okay, so maybe I’ve been thinking about what happens if I…fail.

Fail?

Yeah, fail. Don’t sell any books. Don’t have any readers. Or worse, have people read what I’ve written and laugh at me or make snide remarks behind my back or leave hurtful reviews. Fail.

*Harry considers her* Let’s say that you don’t publish the book. Would you still write?

*Betsy frowns* I guess. I like to tell stories.

And when you tell them, when you write this blog and the newsletter you’re going to start, you feel like…. *Harry raises eyebrow meaningfully*

*Betsy chews lip* I feel like I’m playing. Like I’m inviting other people to come play with me in this world with these characters. Almost like….*Betsy flounders for words* Like a dollhouse. But the dollhouse is real too. *Shakes her head* I’m not making any sense.

*Harry sits back on his haunches* What happens if nobody accepts your invitation to play? Or if they hate it if they do?

That’s the problem! *Betsy flings her arms wide* *Almost succeeds in dislodging Harry* Then I fail!

What if they love it? What if you become famous?

That scares me too!

*Harry’s little face is serious* You can’t give other people that much power over you.

What does that mean?

If you are looking to other people’s reactions to determine whether or not you are a success, or happy with that success, then publishing might not be a good idea.

But I want to publish! *Betsy sits up abruptly* *Harry rolls into her lap* Nobody will read it for sure if I don’t publish. And what good is a story if nobody else hears it? And people might like it. *Betsy gestures at the sky* It might as well have just stayed a galaxy inside my brain if I don’t publish.

*Harry smiles* Then… we publish.

But—

When you shoveled snow today, you wondered whether or not taking that action would impact your whole life, didn’t you? *Harry clutches Betsy’s sweatshirt* You wondered whether you were making a mistake and would end up hurting yourself and changing the rest of your life, or maybe even ending it.

Well, yeah. The snow was really heavy and I was thinking about how I shoveled last year and fell and hurt my foot so badly it still hasn’t healed correctly.

But then what did you do? *Harry’s little fists clench tighter*

*Betsy frowns* I went out to shovel.

Why?

*Betsy shrugs* Because I can’t live my life being afraid of what might happen. I have to be careful and use common sense, but I can’t not shovel my walk just because I’m afraid of a possibility.

*Harry looks up at Betsy* Yes. Do you see?

*Betsy frowns* Failure is a possibility. And so is notoriety, and I’m scared of that too. But if I don’t take the step forward, then I might as well not write? Right?

Right. *Harry jumps down onto the ground* You don’t HAVE to write. You don’t HAVE to do anything except be the best Betsy you can be, the best person, the best human being you are capable of being. But for you, being the best human being you can be involves writing. Now, you can certainly write and just stuff the stories in a drawer, but if you birth these ideas, if you give them form and substance with words, then you want other people to be able to read them – no matter how good the stories may or may not be.

*Betsy frowns* So, you’re saying that I need the possibility of an audience. And that to have that, I might have to face the possibility of failure or notoriety. Just like to shovel my driveway I had to face the possibility I’d get hurt.

Exactly. *Harry lays back and clasps his little paws behind his head* And you also need to get the second draft finished.

*Betsy lays back beside him* *Watches the sky* Okay.

To be continued…

February 22, 2015
Bawk! Business! Bawk!

Previously on Betsy’s blog…

When last we left Betsy and her Muse, it seemed they were making progress towards the ultimate goal of Betsy’s Quest. Betsy had completed the first draft of her next book, and even took the time to evaluate her writing process in a relatively thoughtful manner. But something appears to have happened since last we spoke. Betsy’s brain has been ringing with the sounds of…screeching? And are those really feathers filling the corridors? What in the world is going on here?

Let’s see….

*Muse walks through Betsy’s brain* *Hums softly* *Pushes open door to Harry’s office*

Bawk! Business! Bawk! *Betsy runs by* *Hands flap wildly in the air*

Hmmm. Interesting. *The Muse walks to the comfortable sofa where Betsy’s Quest Guide, Harry, and her favorite beverage, Coffee, sit watching Betsy run around the room like an idiot.* Hey, guys.

Hey. *Harry waves a paw*

Mon cheri. *Coffee steams*

So, what’s up? *Muse settles herself next to Harry on the sofa* *Crosses legs*

*Coffee pours himself out and hands her a mug* Nothing much, mon petite.

Bawk! Newsletters! Newsletters! Newsletters! Bawk! *Betsy fists her hands in her hair and pulls*

*Muse nods toward Betsy* What’s that all about then?

Oh. *Harry sips Coffee* She’s panicking about all of the business stuff again.

VAT Tax! VAT Tax! *Betsy runs by*

*Coffee tsks* She is like ze chicken wit ze head cut off, no? And I even gave her decaf.

Bawk! Cover! Back matter! Sales blurb! Bawk! *Betsy runs past, pulling her hair* Are they good enough? I don’t know! I don’t KNOW! Bawk!

*Muse looks at Harry* Didn’t you try to talk her down?

*Harry shrugs* Oh, sure. But I’m a gerbil, not a miracle worker. I reminded her that her stories were the most important thing, and–

What the hell is metadata! *Betsy crows at the ceiling*

–that’s what I got. *Harry sighs* You just can’t Guide someone who won’t be Guided.

*Muse rolls her eyes* For heaven’s sake, I thought we were beyond this. The stories are what she should be focused on. Until she’s built up an inventory, there’s not much else to do on the business side anyway.

*Harry holds up paw* Preaching to the choir, babe.

Bawk! Do I need ISBNs? Do I? *Betsy jumps up and down* Why does a number cost so much money? *Runs off, hands flapping*

*Harry sips Coffee contemplatively* I think a combination of things set her off. First, her DBA filing came through, so now she actually has a publishing imprint name and can operate as a business. It made it all more real.

*Betsy runs up* DBA! Bawk! Federal EIN! Business accounts! *Betsy runs off*

I see. *Muse sips Coffee*

*Coffee giggles* It tickles.

*Harry shakes head* Anyway, so we have the whole reality of the business thing going on. Then she started reading publishing blogs and news loops and books again.

Bawk! Too much information! Too many things to do! *Betsy runs past, arms flapping* Taxes! Accounting! Merchandise! Bawk!

*Muse puts Coffee aside* Okay. I’ve got this. *stands* *catches Betsy as she runs by again* *stares into her blank, insane eyes* Listen up! Do you want to know the best thing you can do to launch your business?

*Betsy cocks head to the side* *looks alarmingly like a brainless chicken* Marketing? Bawk?

*Muse shakes her* No.

Accounting? Websites? Interviews?

*Muse shakes her harder* No! The best thing you can do to launch your business is to write more stuff.

*Betsy cocks head to the other side* Write?

Yes. Write and keep on writing. Write the next book and the next and the next. In the end that’s all that matters to you anwyay.

*Betsy fluffs feathers.* Just write? That’s enough?

*Muse shrugs* Sure. I mean, yes, there are other things you’ll need to learn–

Learn! Bawk!

But in the end, just write. The rest of it will work itself out. You don’t need to get everything done this second. You have time.

*Betsy considers* *cocks head from side to side* I do?

*Muse smiles* You do. Now get out there and create me some eggs.

Bawk!

To be continued…

February 8, 2015
The Story Of A First Draft (Part Three)

Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

In Part One of The Story of a First Draft, the Muse gave Betsy the beginning situation of her story and showed her a spotlight shining on the ending off in the distance in the darkness of Betsy’s brain. Together, the Muse and Betsy came up with a vision of the path that would take them from the beginning to the end. Hooray! Betsy is on her way to a glorious first draft! Everything’s coming up roses!

Then last week, in Part Two, Betsy starts out on her journey and runs into difficulties. She chooses the wrong fork in the road, writes herself into a corner, and sulks. But eventually she is able to overcome the difficulty. She can even move forward again! She’s making progress! Almost there!

Until Betsy, in her infinite wisdom, decides she has been heading in the wrong direction the whole time. For some reason, she decides the whole story is stupid and she needs to start all over again. Much to the Muse’s disgust, she turns around to go back to the beginning.

Will this first draft ever be finished? Will Betsy be writing it for the rest of her life? Join us and we’ll see…

*Betsy retraces her steps on the path of the story* *When she is almost back to where she started, she turns* *Starts again, this time heading for a different spotlight in the distance* *reworks squares as she lands on them or puts them away in the closet and writes other squares to take their place*

See? See? Here we are! We’re at the spotlight! And this one was a lot closer than the other one was. *spotlight glows a sickly red-green* *Betsy steps into the area it lights* *turns around* *sniffs* Hey! Why does it smell so bad here?

*the Muse, who has been following quietly in the distance, waves her hand in front of her nose* Whew! Wow, that is one rotten ending.

What? Why? *Betsy pouts* *Turns to see glowing squares behind her are all jagged and bloody* And what’s the matter with those squares? They were all fine when I put them down on the path.

*Muse rolls eyes* Yeah, well, you dumb-ass that’s because you forced them to go together and tried to make the story be what you thought it should be instead of what it really is. Who are you, Frankenstein? How are you liking that fancy pants ending now, sister?

*Betsy’s chin trembles* But…but it looked so good from far away.

*Muse fists hands on hips* Well, it wasn’t good, was it? All you were doing was second guessing yourself. *Muse walks forward to poke Betsy in the head* You’ve got a ton of stories up in there but you waste most of your time thinking you chose the wrong path and trying to fix it when there isn’t anything wrong with the path you were on in the first darn place. Now you have to go back to the beginning again.

*Betsy’s eyes fill with tears* I do? But I’ve reworked a lot of the squares when I was heading to this ending. I don’t know what they were before.

Tough tomatoes. You reworked them? Now you have to un-rework them. And not only that, but you have to figure out how they all fit together again.

*Betsy sniffles* That’s not fair.

*Muse smacks Betsy upside the head* This time, just write the story you started out writing and don’t try to turn it into something else because you don’t trust yourself.

*Betsy blinks up at her* But what if it really is wrong?

*Muse sighs* If it’s wrong, if it gets stuck, we’ll change it. But all you were doing in this case was thinking it wasn’t good enough and needed to be something different. Not all stories can be all things. You find the path for the story and you stick with it – you don’t try to turn it into something else half way through.

*Betsy scuffs sneaker on a pulsing red square* Okay. I guess.

*Muse pushes her out of the spotlight* Get cracking.

*time passes as Betsy retraces her steps* *gets rid of jagged, bloody squares* *finds a few glowing in the midst of the rubble and carefully puts them in place* *pulls out squares she saved* *reworks squares she reworked* *turns* *heads back towards the original spotlight, piecing things together again*

*Then, one day….*

*the faint path still between Betsy and the spotlight suddenly lights up like a slot machine* *lights run up the sides* *the glowing squares rise into the air, then turn and snap back into place*

*Betsy claps her hands* I see it! I see it! I see the story! I see how it should go! *races forward as fast as she can* *writing on the glowing squares and moving to the next one*

Oh, my gosh! I’m here! *Betsy jumps up and down* I got to the right place!

*turning, she looks back and sees a bright glowing ribbon flowing like a river under the moonlight back to the beginning square, sparkling with color* *the dome, which had been so black at the beginning, now captures the light and reflects it back until it is like a Christmas tree lit at midnight*

Oh! *Betsy clasps hands to breast* Look at that!

*Muse frowns thoughtfully* Remember, this is just the story-finding draft. It’s still very rough. See how it’s thin in some places and really thick in others? And see that part where the stream loops out and around? And the other place where it splits for a little while and then rejoins? I see some gaps here and there. We’ll have to fix those.

*Betsy worries bottom lip* But is it good? Is it beautiful?

*Muse shrugs* It is what it is. *looks sternly at Betsy* And that’s the point. What we really want is for this story to be true to itself and to you.

Me?

*Muse gestures towards the path* Do you see those flashes of color? How the squares are really all the colors of the spectrum? That’s you. That’s what you put into them.

*Betsy blinks* Really?

Yes. You found the story. You are the creator because you brought it out into the world. It wouldn’t exist without you. If someone else found it, it would exist in a different way.

*Betsy frowns* But it’s just a stupid romance novel.

It’s a story. And we’re going to make it the best we can. Then we’ll move on to the next one and make it even better.

A story. And I found it. *Betsy stares at the ribbon of light*

Yes. *the Muse smiles with satisfaction* You did. And about damn time too.

January 18, 2015