Betsy Horvath

Category: Writing

  • Obsessia

    obsessia1Previously on Betsy’s Blog…

    Harry, Betsy’s Guide on her Quest, has given her a list of things she will need to learn to be a successful indie author and she has gone off to think about them.  Betsy being Betsy, her thoughts promptly swirled into a burgeoning tornado of confusion, indecision and doubt.  But, wait – does it seem that Betsy is being prodded just a little a bit?  Could there be something – or someone – helping to stir her up?  Let’s see…

    You don’t know how to format.

    I don’t know how to format.

    You need to learn to format.

    I need to learn.  I need to learn to format.

    You don’t know how design a book cover.

    I don’t know how to design a book cover.

    You need to learn how to do everything now.  You need to read more self-publishing blogs.

    I need to learn…wait.  I need to write.  I have to finish the book.

    No.  You have to learn the things you don’t know before you get the book finished.  You need to search the internet for more tips.  You need to subscribe to more email lists.

    But if I don’t get the book finished, I won’t have anything to publish…

    You don’t have time to write.  You need to read blogs on writing and publishing and you need to learn how to format and you need to make a cover and you need to learn how to market and you need to do all of this now.

    I should read those blogs about writing so I can learn to how to launch a book.  I should watch authors talk about writing on YouTube.  I should do that now.

    Yes.  Then you need to check Facebook.  You need to check for the fifteenth time to see if somebody “liked” that link you shared.

    I should.

    *Muse pokes head into cavern of brain*  Betsy?  Where the heck are you?

    *Betsy blinks*  *Appears to come out of trance*  What?  Muse is that you?  *rubs face*  What are you doing here?

    *Muse walks over to where Betsy sits huddled on floor of brain clutching her laptop*  Well, I’m here because we’re supposed to be writing, but we’re not getting very far. 

    You’re right.  You’re right.  *Betsy shakes self and starts to put laptop aside*  We need to write.

    No.  You need to read more blogs about self-publishing.  You need to surf the Internet for more tips about writing.  You need to check Facebook and Google Plus and Twitter.

    *Muse looks around*  Who is….?  Oh.  Great.  It’s you.

    *Betsy appears confused*  Of course it’s me.

    Not you.  *Muse points*  Her.

    *Betsy swivels to look behind her*  *sees a dark fog hovering at her shoulder* *As she watches the fog coalesces into the shape of a girl*  Wow.  Goth.

    *girl drifts forward*  I am Obsessia.

    *Betsy looks around*  Obsessia?  Oh, wait.  Harry mentioned you once.  How the heck did you get in my brain, Obsessia?

    Oh, I’ve been here for a while. *Obsessia waves that away*  You just don’t know I’m here whispering to you.

    *Betsy frowns*  I don’t like that much.  How come I can see you now?

    Because she mentioned me. *Obsessia points at Muse*  Once she noticed me, you were bound to see me too.

    *Betsy gathers up laptop computer* *crawls to her feet*  I’m not sure that I like you, Obsessia.

    *Obsessia swirls long black dress around ankles*  You like me fine when I’m whispering to you.

    I don’t like you.  *Muse steps up next to Betsy* *Glares at Obsessia*  You try to keep Betsy away from me.  When you’re whispering to her, she can’t hear me sing.

    Oh.  Too bad.  *Obsessia holds up thumb and forefinger* *saws forefinger over thumb* *nails are painted black*  Here’s a little violin playing a song just for you.  Boo hoo hoo.

    *Muse turns to Betsy*  See when she whispers to you, then you get all caught up on things that don’t matter or that are bad for you.  And your thinking just gets narrowed down to one track and you can’t think of other things.

    *Betsy stares at Muse*  Really?  I’m really like that?

    Yes!  *Muse throws up hands in disgust*  Why do you think you’ve wasted so much time flipping back and forth between Facebook and Google Plus and Twitter instead of writing?   Why do you buy so many books on writing instead of working on the book you ARE writing?  Why are you worrying so much about launch strategies and marketing algorithms when the book isn’t even freaking finished yet? 

    *Betsy thinks*  Because I’m obsessed?

    Well, duh! *Muse waves hands in the air*  *Er…brain*  Yes!  Yes, yes, YES!

    *Betsy stands straighter*  I believe that I want you to leave my brain, Obsessia.  I believe that I am happier listening to the Muse and to Harry than I am listening to you.

    *Obsessia shrugs*  Too bad.

    Too…. hey!  *Betsy clenches fists around laptop*  This is MY brain.

    Is it?  *Obsessia smiles*  I don’t think so.

    I think it is!  *Betsy tries to appear confident*

    Hmmm.  *Obsessia taps her lips with a long, black fingernail*  I think I should call my boyfriend.

    Boyfriend?  *Betsy exchanges a look with the Muse*  Who’s that?

    Compulsion.  *Obsessia’s smile widens*  

    Hello, my sweet.

    *Betsy gasps*  It’s the Voice!  The Dark Voice!

    Betsy, we’re trapped inside walls of ice!  *Muse grasps Betsy’s arm*  We can’t get out!

    *Betsy puts down laptop*  *grabs Muse*  I can’t believe it.  I really am Obsessive / Compulsive?

    *Muse looks at her in disgust*  Really?  REALLY?  You didn’t know that?  I think I’m going to have to buy you a clue for your birthday.

    Well, I always thought I was Manic / Depressive. *Betsy sounds defensive*

    Could we possibly have this conversation later?  *Muse yells*

    I think I should have some say in my own brain.  *Betsy frowns petulantly*

    This is not your brain.  It is ours.  *The Voice laughs*  Obsessia, my dear.  Perhaps we need to prove our point.

    *Obsessia giggles*  Oh, yes.  Let’s.

     

    To be continued…

     

    skull

     

     

  • First Drafts and Fears

    ClimbEveryMountainPreviously on Betsy’s Blog…

    Betsy is on a Quest to become an Indie Author/Publisher/Entrepreneur.  Harry, a white gerbil, is her Guide.  When last we met, Betsy and her Muse were hopped up on writing good times and heading towards finishing the first draft of the second half of the redraft of the book Betsy is writing.  While they got down to the creative business, Harry went off to find out what else Betsy is going to need to know if she wants to make this Quest a reality.

    Now Betsy and Harry are meeting to discuss progress, but something appears to be amiss.  Betsy is not bouncing around with excitement and middle-aged glee.  In fact, she seems rather subdued.  What’s happened?  Does Betsy have to make yet another feeble excuse for not getting her work done?  Let’s see…

     

    *Betsy enters office Harry has set up in her brain*  *Walks over to sofa*  *Drops down onto it with a sigh*

    *Harry looks up from his gPad*  *Frowns*  *Hops to edge of gerbil habitat tower*  Betsy?

    Yeah.  *Betsy stretches out to lay on sofa*  *Puts arm over her eyes*

    What’s wrong?  *Harry puts down gPad*  *runs down tower tube*  *runs over to sofa and jumps onto arm near Betsy’s head*  *pokes at her with a little paw*  I thought you were going to have good news for me today.

    I do.  *Betsy’s voice is muffled by her arm*

    *Harry waits for a moment, but she says nothing else*  Come on.  You’re killing me here.  Did you finish the first draft?

    I did.

    Hey, that’s great! *Harry starts jumping around*  You finished the first draft!  That’s awesome.

    Sure.  *Betsy lets her hand fall to her side*  *stares at ceiling of the brain*

    *Harry stops jumping*  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sensing a lack of enthusiasm here.  Care to tell me why?

    Well, I’m just really scared now.

    Scared?  *Harry jumps onto Betsy’s chest so he can look her in the eye*  Why, for Pete’s sake?  This is a big accomplishment.

    I know, I know, I know.  *Betsy sits up*  *Dislodges Harry*  It’s just that now it’s, well, real.  There’s so much left to do, but now I have to really step up and do it.

    *Harry scratches his head with his back paw*  I don’t understand.  You always had to do it.

    No.  *Betsy stands*  *Begins to pace*  When I was writing the first draft, I didn’t know the whole story.  It was easy to write and rewrite because the story didn’t completely exist yet.  But now I’ve forced myself to power through and the whole story is formed.  It’s not fully formed – it’s kind of like it’s covered in mud – but it’s there just waiting for me to firm it up and finish it.

    Okay.  Still don’t see the problem.

    *Betsy twirls around to glare at Harry*  And then once I firm it up and finish it, I’m going to have to put it out there, aren’t I?

    *Harry shrugs*  Only if you want to actually be an author, babe.  Which you do.

    And then it will be done and I won’t be working on it anymore and then people will read it and maybe review it, or OH!  maybe they WON’T review it and I won’t sell any books and what if I finish this book and it SUCKS or what if I CAN’T finish this book because I’m a total loser and I can’t succeed at anything and what if I read the first draft I wrote and it takes me another TWENTY years to finish the book and I– *Betsy sucks in breath*–die?  Huh?

    Okay.  Wow.  *Harry holds out paws in a placating manner*  Hold on there little trouper.  Why don’t you come back and sit down.  *pats sofa cushion*

    *Betsy sniffles*  Okay.  *walks back to sofa*  *sits* *sniffles*  Sorry.

    Yeah, well, there’s a lot going on in that noggin of yours, isn’t there?

    *sniffle*  Uh huh.

    It sounds like you’re thinking of writing this book as some huge event.

    *Betsy stares at Harry*  Because it is.

    *Harry shrugs*  Not so much.  I mean, yeah, it’s a great accomplishment and all, but it’s not really an event.  It’s just your job now.  It’s just what you do.  This is the second book of many.  You’ve got a ton of others trapped in here.  *Harry climbs Betsy’s chest and taps a paw on her forehead*

    *Betsy frowns* Why were you so excited then?*

    *Harry rolls eyes*  I was excited because you are finally, FINALLY, taking a step onto your own path.

    Oh.  *Betsy thinks*  Okay.

    You’re gonna be fine, babe.  You WILL be able to finish it and it WILL be great.  And then another story will come right along if you let it and you’ll be all about the new story.  Treat this like the be-all and end-all and you’re going to spend the rest of your life rewriting it until it’s perfect and it never will be because that’s the way life goes.  You need to finish this one and you need to get it out there and you need to let people read it.  *Harry hops back onto sofa*

    *Betsy digs out tissue*  *blows nose*  I want people to read it.

    Of course you do.  *Harry pats Betsy’s arm*  You can’t worry about reviews or any of that stuff.  You can’t control what people are going to say, or not say.  You have to focus on the things you CAN control.  And that means, you need to finish your book and you need to ship it.  Then you need to do it all over again.  Each book is just one of many.  There will be another one coming along after this one is finished.

    I should have that tattooed on my arm.  *Betsy gives Harry a watery smile* Thanks.  I feel better now.  *Betsy thinks*  And excited!

    Great.  And you finished your first draft!  *Harry gives a fist pump*

    I did!  *Betsy claps her hands*

    Hooray!  

    *Betsy and Harry dance around her brain*

     

     To be continued…

    dancing-clip-art-1

     

  • What’s Next?

    woman thinkingPreviously on Betsy’s blog…

    Harry, Betsy’s Guide on her Quest to be an indie author/publisher, has discovered that Betsy and her Muse are almost finished the first draft of her book.  This is a good thing.  What Harry finds a little disturbing is the fact that Betsy wrote much of the second half of the first draft of the book in longhand.  Like on paper.  With a pen.  And now it will have to be typed in.

    This gave Harry a little pause (as opposed to little paws – he already has those), but he’s gotten over it.  Mostly.  Now he wants to find out where Betsy and her Muse are planning on taking her writing in the future.  Is this first draft going to be it?  Do they have any further plans?  Has Betsy thought ahead at all?  Does Betsy even have a clue?

    Let us rejoin the conversation between Betsy, Harry, and the Muse, in the lushly appointed office Harry has set up for himself in Betsy’s brain to find out…. 

     

    Okay.  *Harry nods*  Let’s talk about plans for the next steps after the book is finished.

    Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?  *Betsy looks skeptical*

    Nah.  We need to think about these things.  *Harry flaps paw*  I mean, yeah, you need to concentrate on getting this book all the way finished.  But where do we go next?  Do you have any plans?

    Well. *Betsy exchanges look with Muse*  I’m planning to live my life my own way and show my body some respect?

    With your WRITING. *Harry sits on the edge of the coffee table*  What’s next for your WRITING?

    Oh.  Writing.  *Betsy looks eager*  Well, Muse and I HAVE been making plans for the writing.

    Awesome.  *Harry swings foot* Talk to me.

    Oh! *Muse leans forward* It’s so exciting.  See, this book we’re finishing now is supposed to be the first book of a series.

    Yes!  *Betsy leans forward too*  And not only because I wanted to write a series, but because people love to read a series, especially in romance.  They love getting to know the characters and seeing them in future books.

    So we decided this would be the first of at least seven, right?  *Muse looks to Betsy*

    *Betsy nods* At least seven.  But I’d like it if we could stay in this world for a lot longer than that.  We even have titles for the next two books and we’re doing world building, and–

    *Muse jumps in*  And I’m coming up with the plot for the next book.  Actually, I have the basics for the next couple of books and–

    *Betsy interrupts*  And I’m charting out characters and the town this book is set in so we can tie in some short stories, and–

    *Muse claps her hands* Oh, and I’m working on the story arcs that are going to go through the series.  There’s one major arc, but I think we’ll have several, don’t you? *Looks at Betsy*

    *Betsy nods*  Yes, based on what I see in the first book there will be several.  But you know, we have to consider–

    Okay, okay.  *Harry waves paws to stop them*  That’s great.  Just the kind of planning I like to see.  *Looks sternly at Betsy*  You know the problems you ran into before when you tried to write a series.

    Yeah, but I’ve learned.  *Betsy perches on edge of sofa*  See, with Hold Me, I had like a vague idea about what I wanted to do in a series, but I never thought about details.  Then I took out some characters who would have been important in the future and I didn’t know where to go after that.  But this time I know that you need to plan for a series in the first book.  So I’m building that in.  I know I have to do all of this planning now and really chart out the first couple of books or I’ll get stuck again

    We still have a lot of work to do. *Muse tugs at her chin*  It’s not finished by any means.

    *Betsy holds up finger to stop her*  But we’ll have time after the first draft is finished to work on some of this.

    Good, good.  *Harry stands*  I like it that you’re thinking ahead.

    Well, because I have to.  And now that I know it’s a series, I have the hero and heroine for the second book being introduced in the first book.  And the leads for future books are there too.  I didn’t do that kind of stuff with Hold Me.

    *Muse pats Betsy’s hand*  Newbie mistake.

    *Betsy grimaces*  Yeah.  Just one of many.  But knowing I need to think about these things now is helping me plant the seeds for future books.

    *Muse chair dances*  Yay!  Future books! 

    *Harry begins to pace*  I really like this new can-do attitude, I must say.

    *Betsy blushes*  Thanks.

    I’ll tell you what.  *Harry turns to her*  You guys keep up with the writing.  I’m going to go out and surf around, talk to my fellow Guides, and come up with a list of other things we need to consider as we move forward.

    *Betsy looks at Muse*  *Looks back at Harry*  Other things?

    You want to be an indie author.  There are a ton of other things you’re going to need to know and plan for.  We need to figure out what they are so you can work them into your writing schedule.

    O-okay.  *Betsy looks a little intimidated*

    Don’t worry about it.  *Harry waves away her concern*  You guys finish that darn book.  I’ll go see what I can see.  Then we’ll get back together and discuss.  Now, get going!  *Harry strides back to gerbil habitat*

    Who does he think he is? *Muse whispers in Betsy’s ear*

    I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s Patton.  *Betsy sighs*  *stands*  Okay, Muse.  Let’s get writing.

    Yay!  *Muse dances out of post*

    Yay.  *Betsy follows*

     

    To be continued…

     

    Thinking Man

     

  • Longhand?

    Writing ClipartPreviously on Betsy’s Blog…

    To sum things up as quickly as possible:  there’s a Quest, there’s a Guide, he’s a gerbil (yeah, a gerbil), his name is Harry.  The Quest is to indie publish, Betsy’s supposed to be writing and finishing her first draft, and the Muse is cranky about schedules.  Betsy’s also managed to put together a “Quest” page collecting all of the related blog posts in one place.  Although she never figured out how to put the first post first instead of last, she’s pretty impressed that she even figured out how to collect them together.

    Anyway, Harry has called a meeting with Betsy and the Muse to discuss progress.  Let’s listen in, shall we?  

    Yes, let’s.

     

    *Betsy and the Muse walk into Harry’s office*  *see Harry lounging on top of his habitat tower watching television*

    Hey, I’m glad you two could spare a minute. *Harry sips from a snifter of brandy* *turns off ESPN*

    Sure. *Betsy sits on sofa*

    Sure. *Muse perches uncertainly beside Betsy* *glances at Betsy for reassurance*

    *Betsy pats Muse’s hand* So, what’s up?

    *Harry puts down snifter*  *runs down the habitat tower, then jumps to perch on the coffee table in front of them* I wanted to touch base with you guys to see how we’re doing on our product.

    Great! *Betsy smiles at Muse* We’re at the end of the first draft for Handing It.  I think we’re at the last scene, don’t you, Muse?

    Oh, yes! *Muse sits forward* *Trembles with creative enthusiasm* We’re definitely at the climactic scene.  A little bit more work and it will be finished!

    Hey, that’s great. *Harry settles down on the coffee table* *Crosses one hind leg over the other* *adjusts his fur to lay smoothly over knee* What’s next after that?

    *Betsy looks at Muse* Well, we kinda figured we’d keep writing.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Of course you’re going to keep writing.  *Harry flicks that away* But I need to plan.  So after you finish this first draft, what’s the next step?

    Oh.  *Betsy frowns in thought* I guess the first thing we’ll have to do is to type the first draft into Scrivener and–

    Whoa! *Harry holds up forepaws, pads out* Whoa, whoa, whoa!  What do you mean, “type it into Scrivener”? How the heck did you write this first draft anyway?  Telepathy?

    *Betsy looks uncomfortable*  I, um, wrote it, um, longhand.

    Longhand! *Harry jumps to his feet* Longhand!  You mean like on PAPER?  With a PEN? Are you freaking kidding me?

    No. *Betsy tries to soothe him* See with longhand, it all just flowed–

    Flowed! Flowed! *Harry begins to pace, paws clasped behind his back*

    Yeah! It was so cool. *Muse leans forward eagerly* See, she was all blocked up and I was talking and talking, but I could never get her to buckle down and listen but then we figured out it was because she was sitting at a computer, see?  And sitting at the desk was restrictive kinda, and reminded her of her day job.  So we thought she should just write it down and it really worked! It was like I was there, like, molded to her hand or something.

    Yes! *Betsy beams at Muse* That’s exactly what it’s like. She talks and it just comes out and I don’t even know how long I’ve been writing because it’s like it’s me and her and the writing and it’s wonderful until my tendinitis flares up!

    Yeah, well that’s freaking great but…but LONGHAND! *Harry snorts in disgust* What century do you live in? Do you think you’re Jane Austen?  Did you use a freaking quill?

    *Betsy straightens* I thought you were all about the writing? Why are you getting upset?

    Because I thought YOU wanted to be an indie author.  That means you need to get books out there sometime within the next freaking century.  Writing in longhand is about as efficient as chipping the thing in a rock.

    No, no, listen! *Muse clasps her hands* See, it’s great. We’ll have kind of a second draft when we type in the stuff Betsy wrote in her  notebooks because we’ll be reviewing it all.  And we’ll also see things that need to be added and deleted as we go.  It’s actually going to save time.

    *Harry crosses his arms* Oh, come on. Save time?

    Yeah, you know why? *Muse looks rebellious* It’s going to freaking save time because this way she’s freaking writing the thing, okay?

    Hmmmm.  *Harry considers* Good point. *settles back onto coffee table*  Sorry. Okay, so the first draft is finished. You’ll type it in and clean it up. Will the book be finished then?

    I think it will be pretty much there. *Betsy looks to Muse for confirmation*

    I see a couple of scenes we might need to add.  *Muse muses* And things will need to be smoothed out and pulled together, especially since the first half of the book has been finished for a while.  *Muse taps chin*  So at least one more draft after it gets typed in and smoothed out.  Maybe two.  But they won’t take nearly this long.

    Okay.  *Harry nods*  Let’s talk about plans for the next steps after the book is finished.

     

    To be continued…

     

    Harry-3
     

  • Some Thoughts About Failure and Success

    primrose1One morning last week, I woke up feeling vaguely guilty and rather like a failure.  Now that isn’t terribly unusual, but I didn’t know what was wrong this time.  As I thought about it, I realized my feelings were somehow connected to the fact I had been to the grocery store the previous evening.It so happens this trip to the grocery store had gone perfectly well, but there have been many times in my life when a trip to the grocery store meant the purchase and consumption of vast quantities of inappropriate foodstuffs.  I have come to associate going to the grocery store with breaking promises to myself and feeling like a failure.I have trained myself.Last week I was also thinking about writing and wondering why I hadn’t felt like a success when HOLD ME was published.  After all, the publication of a book is the popularly accepted definition of success for a writer.

    After some thought, I realized that what makes me feel I’m a successful author is to write consistently.  After HOLD ME was published, I stopped writing.  I got all caught up in publication and promotion and other things successful authors were “supposed” to do.  Because none of those things matched my definition of success, I rushed after things that meant nothing to me and sent myself into a downward spiral.

    I let other people define my success.

    I guess what I’m trying to say in this rambling little blog post is, first, we can train ourselves to feel like failures.  We train ourselves with our actions, and we train ourselves with our thinking.  Because I have a history of making choices at the grocery store that are not appropriate for my diabetes, because I consistently ignore promises I’ve made to myself and spend money I don’t have on things I don’t need, I associate the grocery store with failure.  But now that I know I’m trained that way, maybe I’ll be kinder to myself when I’m in those situations.

    Second, we are the only people who can define success for ourselves.  For me, I feel the most successful, the most comfortable in myself, when I am writing.  Writing itself is my definition of success, not promotion or even publication.  In the past, I have let other people define both my success and my failure based on their thoughts and actions, not on what I consider to be the most important thing.  But now that I know I’ve done that, maybe I’ll be better able to keep on my own path.

    And so, let us keep muddling through knowing we have done the best we could, let us be kind to ourselves when we fail, and let us remain true to our own definitions without imposing them on others.

    Have a great day.

    primrose

     

  • Sugar-Coated

    sugarhazePreviously on Betsy’s Blog…

    When Betsy loses two of her beloved cats within six weeks of each other due to cancer, Harry, Betsy’s Quest Guide, leaves her alone for a little while to grieve.  However, when he returns to Betsy’s brain, he’s disturbed to find molecules of sugar and chemicals flying around everywhere and Betsy’s Muse sound asleep on a ratty sofa pushed into a corner.  Talking to the Muse causes more concern.  Harry knew Betsy was a wreck, but he finds out she hasn’t written anything at all since he’s been gone.  Harry and the Muse both know that writing will help Betsy work through her emotions, but Betsy doesn’t seem to know that.  In fact, Harry begins to suspect that Betsy might have gotten herself completely derailed.

    Another wave of sugar and chemicals hits, sending the Muse into a sound sleep.  Harry makes a dash for Betsy’s temporal lobe to see if he can figure out what’s going on.  What will he find?

    Betsy!

    HELLO.

    *Harry skids to a halt and stares*  Who the hell are you?

    *The shadows shift* *The ganglia wiggle*

    *silence*

    Huh.  Weird.  Better find Betsy. Betsy?  Where are you?

    …because….the world is round….it turns me on….

    Betsy!  *Harry leaps forward again*  Where are you?

    …because….the world….is….round….aaaaahhhhhhhh

    And why the hell are you singing a Beatles song?  *Harry pushes aside some cells*  Great googly moogly Betsy’s sprawled all over her brain like a limp noodle.

    …because…the wind is high….it blows my mind….

    For God’s sake, stop singing.  Especially that freaking song.  *Harry jumps on Betsy’s chest and prods her with his little paws*  What in the world have you done to yourself, woman?

    love is all…love is new….*cough* Harry?  Harry is that you?  *Betsy blinks sugar-encrusted eyelashes*

    Of course it’s me, you moron.  What are you doing?

    It’s so good to see you.  *Betsy smiles goofily, then frowns*  What do you mean, what am I doing?

    What have you done to yourself?  *Harry slaps her across the cheek*  Snap out of it!

    Ow! *Betsy puts hand to cheek*  I’m just laying here.  I’m allowed to lay here.  It’s MY brain.  I’m allowed to hide in it if I wanna.

    *Harry settles back on his hind legs*  The last time we talked you were all motivated.  You were gonna be an indie publisher.  You were gonna be an authorpreneur.  You were gonna write, damn it.

    *Betsy looks away*  But then Emily died, and…

    I know she did doll.  *Harry tilts Betsy’s head back with a gentle paw*  I’m sorry.

    *Betsy blinks*  Thank you.

    But what happened?  *Harry looks around*  *notices that the entire temporal lobe is covered in layers and layers of sugar*  What have you been doing?

    *Betsy looks away again*  Eating.

    Betsy!  *Harry sighs*  You KNOW that doesn’t help.  You KNOW the sugar and fats and all of the chemicals in the food just make you crazy.  You KNOW it’s not going to do anything but make you feel worse.

    I know.  *Betsy sniffles*  But when I eat the sugar and the fats and the pastries and all of the things I’m not supposed to eat then I can escape from everything for a little while.

    But it’s only a little while.  And then your blood sugar is out of control and you crash.  Besides, it’s poison for you!  It’s like you’re poisoning yourself!

    Maybe.  *Betsy blushes*  But it feels good at first.

    *Harry sighs*  Does it feel good now?

    No.  *Betsy frowns*  I feel kind of crappy, to tell the truth.

    Are you ready to stop eating the way you have been?

    *Betsy picks at the fabric of her blouse*  It’s not that easy.

    What do you mean?  *Harry starts to pace*  You feel crappy.  You know that writing will help.  So you stop eating badly, you stop poisoning yourself, and you write instead.  Instead of escaping through food, you escape through writing.  Easy.

    *Betsy looks at Harry, eyes wide and frightened*  *whispers*  I hear ice cream.

    *Harry blinks*  Huh?

    I hear ice cream.  And pastries.  And brownies.  And chocolate.  And cheesecake.  And larger than advisable portions of food that would otherwise be considered halfway decent.  I…I want to stop eating like this.  I swear to you.  I’ve tried!  But I hear them singing to me in my DREAMS!  Calling me!  Telling me to come to them. *sobs*

    *Harry settles*  I don’t get it.

    *Betsy sits up*  *gazes furtively around the brain*  *whispers even more softly*  I started eating badly when Emily died.  I just wanted to escape.  I just wanted to numb my brain for a little bit.  Can you blame me?  CAN YOU?

    Uh…

    And now I can’t stop eating.  I start out the day doing okay.  I do.  Honest.  I have things under control.  Then around three o’clock… *Betsy swallows*  It all goes to hell and I end up here.  Stretched out in my brain.  Covered in sugar.  Singing “Because”.

    Wow.  Huh.  *Harry starts to get up*

    You can’t leave me.  *Betsy clutches at him*  I know you’re just a gerbil, but you’re all I’ve got.  You have to help me break this.

    *Harry shakes his little head*  Well, I know you’ve got to break this, doll, but I’m not sure–

    You have to help me!  *Betsy squeezes Harry with both hands*  You have to!  I’ll never become an authorpreneur if I don’t get this under control.  I can’t keep losing time like this!   I can’t…I can’t…I’M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER!

    Okay, okay.  *Harry struggles and finally breaks free*  *smooths down his coat*  *itches at his ear*  Sheesh.  You’re right, okay?

    *Betsy blinks tear-filled eyes*  I am?

    Yeah.  There’s no way you’ll become an authorpreneur if you keep up this way.  You need to get over this…this…food addiction or the next time you hit a bad spot you’re going to end up flat on your back in your temporal lobe singing “Because”.

    *Betsy tries to hug him*  I knew you’d understand!

    *Harry evades her outstretched arms*  Okay, so, first of all.  Who else is in here?

    *Betsy blinks*  Who else?  Nobody.

    *Harry shakes his head*  I know I heard somebody else in here.

    *Betsy frowns*  No.  Seriously.  It’s just me.

    I don’t–

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    *Betsy looks around her brain*  Who’s that?

     

    To be continued…

    sugar