Betsy Horvath

Category: Conversations with the Blogosphere

  • Muse Troubles

    Betsy! Psst! Betsy!

    *jumps* What? Who’s there?

    Betsy! Over here!

    *looks around* Blogosphere? Is that you?

    Of course it’s me. Keep your voice down.

    What? Why?

    Just do it. *Blogosphere slinks further into the post* *glares* Where in the hell have you been?

    *blush* Well, it’s been such a rough couple of weeks, and..

    Rough couple of weeks. Yeah, right.

    Well it has!

    How’re those Sims and their pets doing?

    How did you–

    Forget it! *slashes many hands in air* We don’t have time for this. She’ll be here any minute.

    She? *crosses arms* She, who? What are you talking about?

    *Blogosphere gazes furtively over a few shoulders* I lost her at the eHarlequin site, but she’ll find me soon…

    Blogosphere! *stomps foot* Who are you talking about?

    Your Muse!

    My….what?

    You heard me. Your Muse! You haven’t done anything with her in so long that she tracked me down through your blog. Now I can’t get rid of her!

    Huh. I wondered where she’d gone off to. My brain’s been feeling pretty empty lately.

    Did you hear me? I can’t get rid of her. She keeps wanting to chat and look at pictures and network and–

    Blogosphere? Sweetie, are you in here?

    Oh, SHIT!

    Blogosphere! Language! *Betsy turns while Blogosphere cowers behind her*

    Blogosphere? I’m sorry that I got hung up over at eHarlequin, but… *Muse enters the post* *sees Betsy* *stops* Oh. Hello.

    Muse? What are you doing chasing the Blogosphere all around?

    *Muse clasps hands behind back and draws line with her toe* I was bored.

    Bored? But–

    You never take me out anywhere! You never let me do anything! You promised me NaNoWriMo–

    Hello! The POWER went out!

    Yeah, yeah. Cry me a river. I needed some life. Some creativity. So I thought I’d hook up with the Blogosphere. The Blogosphere is fun!

    *Blogosphere whispers* See?

    Oooo…honey are you back there? *Muse tries to see around Betsy*

    No. There’s nobody here but us.

    *Muse sighs* Story of my life. *shoulders slump*

    Muse. *Betsy steps cautiously towards Muse* You’re important to me. I need you.

    Really? *Muse looks hopeful*

    Really. Don’t….don’t leave me alone. Don’t let me live in real life. What would I do without you?

    So you’ll….you’ll write again?

    I’m starting tonight. We’ll do NaNoWriMo. We’ll finish the book we’ve been working on. We’ll write other books…LOTS of books.

    *Muse draws line with her toe again* Promise?

    I promise.

    You’ll let me play with Luc and Katie and Spot sometimes?

    Sure. I’ll even let you redecorate your room in my brain.

    You will? *blinks*

    Uh, sure. Just stay home a little bit, okay?

    I was going to move in with the Blogosphere…

    Say what?!?

    Don’t do that. Stay home with me and we’ll really bust some writing moves.

    Well…if you’re sure. *Muse takes deep breath* Okay.

    Sweet! *Blogosphere runs away from the post as fast as it can*

    Great. *Betsy beams*

    *Muse stands with hands on hips and looks around Betsy’s brain.* What a mess! Doesn’t anyone ever clean around here? And what’s with all of the cat hair? Did they sleep on your head again? Now how am I going to find the Ikea catalog… *Muse begins going through the trash*

    Ah. Things are back to normal.

     


    >

  • Busy, Busy

    And then I have to…

    Betsy!

    But first I should retweet…and then I have to comment on…

    Yo, Betsy!

    Oh!  Oh!  I can’t forget to post…

    BETSY!

    What!?!  Oh. It’s you.  Hello, Blogosphere.

    Were you just going to ignore me?

    Ignore you?  Ignore you?  How the heck can I ignore you?

    Well, it’s just that–

    I mean, I’m on the freaking computer all of the freaking time!  I’m talking to some part of you every spare moment of the day!  Twitter.  Facebook.  Google+…

    Yeah, don’t worry too much about Google+

    I don’t. Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Goodreads.  eHarlequin…

    That eHarlequin part of me is pretty nice, isn’t it?

    …other people’s blogs.  My blog posts.  My guest blog posts.  Answering comments on my guest blog posts… AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    Whoa. ::gestures soothingly:: Just calm down.

    Calm down?  Calm down?  How the heck am I supposed to calm down?  I’m on my laptop.  I’m on my netbook.  I’m on my smart phone.  I’d be using tin-cans if that got me in touch with a different part of you… I”m…I’m…just….

    Betsy.  Bets.  Here.  ::takes arm:: Come with me.

    Where…where did this sofa come from…?

    I stole it from the Ikea site.

    Oh.  Pretty.

    Yeah.  Just lie down.  Relax.

    ::lays down::  Thank you, Blogosphere.

    See?  I’m not so bad.

    No…no, you’re nice.  You…care.

    Well, not really.  But you’re not going to do either of us any favors if you stroke out.

    Okay.

    Listen.  The damn book’s not going away, what’s the rush?

    What’s the rush? ::struggles to sit up:: What’s the rush? I need to sell books!  There are rankings and reviews and all sorts of promotional opportunities and I have to be out there and if I don’t sell books I’m going to die alone with a hundred cats who will eat my flesh when they run out of food!

    Nice image.

    I know how you are, Blogosphere.  I know how unforgiving you are.  Today, I’m a newly released author.  Today I’m on blogs and Books on Board and the Carina site.  Tomorrow I’ll be…the ugly wedding hat.

    I see you have a good handle on how things work.  But you’re forgetting something.

    ::sniffles::  What?

    You’ll always have this little corner of me, no matter what.

    That’s…true…

    As long as you have enough money to pay the hosting bills.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

     

  • HOLD ME Countdown – Battle Plans

    Private Horvath!

    What?  Who?…. Blogosphere? Is that you?

    I am Sergeant Blogosphere, Private, and the appropriate response to my calling you is “Sir, yes Sir.”

    What is this?

    I cain’t HEAR you!

    Um…Sir.  Yes, uh, sir.

    Fair enough.  Now front and center, Private and make it snappy.

    ::moves forward:: Um, yeah?

    Stand at attention when I’m talking to you, girl.

    Sir. Yes, sir. ::snaps to attention::

    When is release day, Private?

    Release day is in 23 days, sir!

    And what day is that, Private?

    It is Monnnnday, September 5th, sir!

    Good.  At ease.

    ::assumes parade rest position::

    I had to call you several times before you showed up, Private. What were you doing.

    I was resting, sir.

    Resting!  ::slaps riding crop against thigh:: I do not recall giving you permission to rest.

    I’m…I’m sorry, sir.  I was hungry and I needed to..

    That’s enough!  We need to review our battle plans.  That release day isn’t getting any further away, is it?

    Yes…um…no.  No, sir!

    Okay. Let’s get this done.  Twitter and Facebook, check.  Blog ::looks around:: I guess it’s the best we can expect. Google Plus?

    Set up, Sir!

    Goodreads?

    Waiting for confirmation of author status, sir!

    Fine, fine.  You were a little late on the jump on that one, but we’ll let it slide.  Amazon author page?

    Set up, sir!

    With bio and picture?

    Yes, sir! I uploaded the cover, but I’m waiting for it to load.

    Could have been done sooner, but okay. *checks clipboard*  eHarlequin community?

    Set up, Sir. With bio and author page and first blog posted.

    But no posting in the forums yet, huh?

    Um, no sir!

    Well, get out there and do that! *makes note*  Kindlegraph?

    Set up, sir!  But the cover isn’t there yet.

    What?  Not there?

    I hope it will be soon, sir!

    I guess that’s all right.  Guest blog posts?

    Um, not yet, sir.

    Not yet! Not yet! What have you been doing, sleeping?

    Well, the posts are mostly drafted and I have them planned…

    That is not good enough, Private!  ::begins to pace back and forth:: Not good enough at all.  There are 23 days to release day.  23!  You need to have these things in place before then!  Have you even looked at the interview Maureen sent you?

    Not yet, but…

    Have you looked at the promotional opportunities email from Carina?

    Not really, but…

    Have you formatted your interview with Rhonda for next week?

    No, but…

    This is unexceptable!  This will not be tolerated!  Stand at attention, Private!

    ::snaps to attention::

    Now you listen to me, and you listen to me good. This battle will not be won with “but’s”  This battle will not be won with “should’s”  This battle will be won  with heart, and soul, and computers!  Do I make myself clear?

    Sir!  Yes, sir!

    Good!  Now get out there and give me the kind of blog posting that I expect from one of my recruits!  Go out and interact the way you’ve never interacted before!

    Sir!  Yes, sir!

    GO, Private!

    ::Betsy double-times it out of the post::

    Damn straight.  ::Blogosphere chews on unlit cigar::  Well, she’ll either get it, or she’ll fall asleep trying.

    And YOU!  YOU watch for HOLD ME, release day 9/5/11. Do I make myself clear?

    Good.

    P.S. – Tune into the blog on Tuesday – we’re having a contest.

  • Pre-Countdown Decoration Post

    Don we now our gay aparrel….

    Blogosphere?

    Fa la la la la la la la la…

    Blogosphere? What are you doing?

    Hey, yo. Bets. Pretty good, eh?

    What…what is all of this?

    I’m decoratin’

    Decoratin’? *shakes head* I mean, you’re decorating?

    Yeah.

    And singing…Christmas carols?

    Yeah.

    Um…why?

    Because…*turns. stares* Hello, I’m getting ready. Duh.

    O-kay…Ready for what?

    For your countdown. You know. The countdown to your book release day on September 5.  HOLD ME.  Labor Day.  Countdown.

    *gasp* You…you remembered? You remembered THE day?

    ‘Course I remembered. I’m the freaking blogosphere, aren’t I? The blogosphere remembers everything you do until you die and even beyond.

    Well, thanks. I think. But seriously, I can’t believe that the Blogosphere–

    –The entire FREAKING Blogosphere–

    –Cares about my release date! *blinks back tears of joy*

    Well, *fiddles with some ribbon* Um…okay, maybe I overstated a little bit.

    Uh….huh? Didn’t you just say–

    See, I’m the part of the Blogosphere that actually knows you exist. I’m your little corner of the world, so to speak.

    Oh. *contemplates Blogosphere* Is that why you’re so short?

    Hey! Veritcally challenged, thank you very much.

    And puny? And weak? And transparent?

    *crosses arms* Are you just going to stand there and insult me?

    No, no. Of course not. Sorry.

    I mean, look at all of the great decoration work I’ve done! Your FAQ page looks smoking hot, and I’ve got Christmas lights and ribbons all over the blog page.

    Yeah, those puce ribbons are just… awesome.

    I think so too. *smiles happily* Never knew what puce was until that bitch Wikipedia chimed in. Always has to offer her two cents. *mimics* I know this…I can tell you about that…Gets old. But this time she was right.

    So, to get back on track…This is my first pre-countdown to release day decoration post. What am I supposed to do?

    Hey, I don’t give a sh..damn. Why don’t you talk about what’s coming up?

    Oh, okay. Marketing. I can do this. *clears throat* Oh, I wish I’d known you wanted to do this. I would have put my notes in order. *shuffles paper*

    Would you just get on with it?

    Okay, okay. Get off my back! *clears throat again* Ladies and gentlemen–

    Do you really think there are gentlemen out there?

    Shhh!

    I mean seriously. It’s a freaking romance novel.

    Quiet! Okay. Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m pleased to announce that the HOLD ME countdown will begin on Monday, August 1st when I’ll post the first chapter–

    What? You’re giving away the first chapter?

    Hush!

    I mean seriously. Why buy the cow if you get the milk for–

    Quiet! As the month goes on, I’ll be posting lots of extra things, including some more excerpts–

    Cow, Milk, Cow, Milk

    –and some new vignettes and interviews with the characters–

    Which you haven’t written yet.

    Shut. Up.  Um, where was I…Oh, yes. And a contest. And, if I ever get my act together, I hope to post an interview my editor, Rhonda.

    Hi, Rhonda! How YOU doin’? *wink, wink*

    Blogosphere. Are you trying to pick up my editor on MY time?

    ‘Course not. *sly smile*

    GAH! I’m done! I’m so done with you. Out!

    Out? Hey! What about–

    OUT!

    Yeah, yeah. Kicking out the Blogosphere. Good marketing plan.

    Don’t you mind my marketing plan! Get out!

    I’m going. I’m going. But you’ll come running after me sooner or later… *Blogosphere leaves the post*

    *sigh* Yeah. I probably will. But I’ll switch out all of these puce ribbons first.

    I heard that!

    Quiet! So, um, anyway. Please join me tomorrow, August 1st, for the beginning of the countdown to HOLD ME’s release day.

    Thank you.

     

  • Some Commitment Issues

    *twittering*   *chirping*   *chatter*

    Yo!

    …I KNOW!  I can’t BELIEVE that Brooke Shields…wait.

    *shifts to new browser tab*  Oh.  It’s you. Hello.

    Betsy.

    Blogosphere. What are you doing here?

    Well, I kinda thought we had a…date.

    Did we? *crosses arms*

    Today’s Tuesday.  You know, time for a blog post.  Three times a week, remember?

    I remember.  I’m just surprised that you remembered me.

    Hey, what’s all this? Are you angry about something?

    No.  Why should I be angry. I have nothing to be angry about, do I?

    No, but…Did I just hear you…were you just talking to…Twitter?

    So what if I was? Why do you care?

    Why do I care? You made a commitment. You made a commitment to us. You made a commitment to me!

    I never promised to be exclusive.  Lot’s of people talk to Twitter.  Lots of…authors.

    I knew it!  I just knew something was going on.  First that damn poem about social media and now this.  You’re freaking throwing me over for freaking Twitter!

    Blogosphere! Don’t use that kind of foul language around here.

    Oh, please. Do you even remember the kind of language you used in your freaking book?

    *draws self up straighter* This isn’t about the book.  This is about you and me.

    What the hell are you talking about?

    Twitter interacts with me.  Twitter talks to me.  All the time. *sniff* Besides, Justin Bieber is there.

    I can’t believe this.  I don’t believe it.  You’re only saying this because you can’t think of anything to post today.

    And that’s my point!  Over at Twitter you don’t have to think of things to post.  You just talk about what’s happening right at the moment!  It’s a stream of free communication–

    Yeah, right.  *mimics*  I’m drinking coffee…I’m eating bacon….I’m wearing shoes…

    No!  No, it’s not like that at all!  You make it sound so dirty, so….cheap.  So easy.  It’s really a very beautiful experience and everyone gets together–

    Really?  What was your last tweet?  It was about the bra you bought for the RWA conference, wasn’t it?

    *gasp*  No!  That’s not true!  You’re lying!

    Well, then it was something else equally banal.  *voice softens*  Come on, baby.  You don’t want to leave me, not really.  Do you?  We’re just starting to get going here.  We’ll settle into a routine, I swear. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us.  Don’t leave me for some lousy 140 characters.

    *shifts*  *looks up, then down again*   Well, you’re right.  I can say more here than I can over there.

    Exactly.

    I mean, you don’t place any limits on me.  I can say whatever I want to say and be as long-winded as I like.

    Well–

    And I can be serious, or I can write poetry about coffee or social media, and I can talk about my book, or my cats…

    Well–

    And I can tell you anything!  Anything at all!  Because I know that you care about me!

    Uh huh.  But listen, baby, about the cats–

    No, no, you’re right.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I see it all now. It’s all so clear.  I’ve been such a fool. *takes a deep breath*  Just…just tell me one thing.

    What?

    Can I have you and still have Twitter, too?

    Yeah, baby.  Whatever you need.  Twitter, Facebook, whatever.  Even Goodreads.  Just, you know, keep coming back.

    And if I can’t think of anything to say to you?

    Then make stuff up.

    Oh.  Well, that’s okay then.  That’s what I usually do anyway.

    Do me one favor?

    What’s that?

    Stay away from mySpace.

    No problem.

     

  • Touring With The Blogosphere

    Blogosphere!

    *distant whispering and chatter*

    Hey! Blogosphere! I’m here!

    *some laughter*

    Blogosphere! Get your butt over here! *stomps foot*

    Yo! What?

    Blogosphere, aren’t you supposed to interview me today?

    Uh…huh?

    Didn’t I slip you that twen…I mean, didn’t we make arrangements a couple of days ago?

    Uh, yeah. I guess so. *rattles files* I don’t know why we’re doing this, though.

    Hello! It’s a blog tour you silly thing.

    *pause* A blog tour?

    You’re the blogosphere. You contain all blogs everywhere. You are going to interview me, if you ever get started. Ergo, a blog tour.

    You know, I kind of think you’re missing something here.

    No, I’m generating buzz. Creating excitement. Building the brand. This is how we do things in the digital age.

    Oh, for the love of…

    Would you just get on with it?

    *heavy sigh* Sure, sure. Whatever.  Doesn’t matter to me if you look like a fool.  Besides, the sooner we’re done, the sooner I can go back to talking about Pippa. *more shuffling* Okay. You are Betsy Horvath, romance author, right?

    Yes I am!

    And your new book…sheesh did you really want me to say “new” book? How long have you been working on the thing anyway?

    Shut up and stick to the script.

    And your “new” book, HOLD ME, will be released from Carina Press soon.

    Yes it will!

    Do you have a release date?

    Not officially. Sometime at the end of the summer.  But it will be the best release date ever!

    Uh huh. Do you have a cover?

    Not yet.  But they’re working on it now and it will be the most beautiful cover ever!

    Hmmm.  I see.  *shuffle, shuffle* Okay, so why don’t you tell me what this book is about then.

    Oh, oh. A pitch. Okay, I’m ready. *deep breath*

    Well, Blogosphere, HOLD ME is about an ordinary woman named Katie McCabe. When she’s driving home from work one day, an FBI agent named Lucas Vasco jumps into her car. He’s being chased by gangsters, he’s hurt, and he needs her help.  Katie does help him, then finds herself right in the path of a psychotic hit man.  She realizes that she has become the guy’s new target.

    Luc might have gotten Katie into this mess, but he doesn’t leave her to deal with it alone.  Before she knows what’s happening, he whisks her off to his house for protection.  Once there, they discover a connection buried in the past. Even worse, the longer Katie is with Luc, the more she realizes that she  doesn’t want to let him go. But the bad guy hasn’t gone away. He’s still out there somewhere…determined to find Katie, no matter what it takes.

    Man. Is that the best you can do?

    *glares* Yes, it is. So sue me!

    Hey, babe, better watch yourself. Lots of attorneys in here.

    You know what? I’m done with you. Why don’t you just go talk to yourself.

    I was doing that before you bothered me in the first place.

    Look! Over there! It’s the ugly wedding hat!

    Really? Cool! *Blogosphere leaves the post*

    Um, and there you go. My first blog tour. In one post. On my own websi…hmmm.

    Uh, thank you.